Well, let's just latch right on to some dance music.
This is "Latch", by British house duo Disclosure featuring vocalist Sam Smith. "Latch" has so far reached #57 on the Hot 100, gearing it to enter the Top 50. Disclosure is a fairly young duo, starting in 2010 and gaining commercial success in the UK in 2012. But "Latch", their first successful UK single, has also become the first single to make it fairly far in the Billboard hot 100 chart. A fame starter in two countries has to be good. Right? Right? Well, I like it. I'm not the biggest fan of dance music in general, as I don't really dance. But if a dance song sets a good mood, then yeah, I'm down to boogie a little. Just only in the comfort of my own room, with the doors and windows shut and blocked, where no one will ever see me. Ever. "Latch" has a pretty simple message in its lyrics: a couple in love. (By the way, props to the video for including a lesbian couple. Good on ya.) The intimacy expressed in the music and lyrics is astounding. Sam Smith just sells it. Now I got you in my space I won’t let go of you In the wrong hands, lyrics such as these may sound a little too possessive and/or rapey to be romantic or erotic. Thank God they didn't get Kristina Maria to do this song, am I right? Heh heh... I hate her so much. Anyway, "Latch" makes the lyrics work by expressing the same feelings from both people. I’m so encaptured, got me wrapped up in your touch Feel so enamored, hold me tight within your clutch Pronouns: Aren't you glad you studied them in school? I'd be very happy if we got more dance music like this, and less Lil Jon exploitation. TURN DOWN FOR WHA- Yes, yes, Lil Jon. You've had your chance already. Well, let's get right down to the meat and potatoes. The fries and gravy. The bread and butter. The... is anyone else hungry? Hot 100 Success: Will they have it? Disclosure and "Latch" feel like the dark horse artist and song this year. I'm going to say yes, they will have success. At least with this song. Should they have it? Disclosure seems smart enough and socially conscious enough that I'll give my blessing for their Hot 100 success. We could use more Disclosure music over here.
Ugh, can't I just review another good Down with Webster song?
"Royalty"! Can I review that song? I need to prove to America that the vast majority of Canadian music isn't garbage! *sigh* This is "Move Like a Soldier" by Kristina Maria.
Kristina Maria is an artist whose personality I find repulsive, yet... white-bread boring as well. It takes a special kind of artist to do that, I'd say. Oh boy, let's dive in! I’m going nuts here Thinking how I could’ve been brave, not a quitter Yes I can stop now, but I’m going to practice my aim in the mirror Nothing objectionable here, I suppose. Could be a Hunger Games theme at this point, if the Hunger Games series recognized random Canadian artists. But I digress. Back to the song. Tonight, I’m holding out till the morning I’m holding out till the morning comes And I can have your attention Show you how I’m the only one Perseverance is nice. So, you're going to be the only one to do what? TO BREAK DOWN YOUR WALLS HIJACK YOUR BRAIN RUN THROUGH YOUR VEEEEINS Aaaah! Jesus. I’m going to move like a soldier (Awful trap voice: I’m going like a tank) I’m going to move like a soldier (Awful trap voice: I’m go-going like a tank) Stop! Stop! What the hell are you talking about? Is this supposed to be, God forbid, romantic? Because let me tell you right now, it's not. And if I'm expected to sympathize with Kristina Maria here, well... let's just say that a girl threatening to break down your walls, hijack your brain, and run through your veins should probably be put into custody. Seriously, "move like a soldier"? What kind of twisted imagery are we going for here? You act like you want to love this guy, but this doesn't sound like love! This sounds like war! Instead of letting me down, I should be feeling you up Instead of running away, I should be making you stay Yes, well, treating a man's body like a battle ground is not the way to my heart. Or my hormones. I honestly can't tell is this is supposed to be a love song or a sex song, and either way it fails. Miserably. Kristina Maria's tone is so off. It just doesn't work. She talks about "holding on to the moon" and shit in her verses, but whatever mood she might set in the verses is completely, completely destroyed by her forceful, pounding chorus. It just hits you in the face like a stack of bricks. Ow. At least when Miley Cyrus said "break your walls" in "Wrecking Ball", you could interpret it as wanting the guy to open up to her. This chorus just hammers violent imagery into you until you have no choice but to believe she is literally going to break down your walls. And the music doesn't help. It literally feels like my brain is being hijacked, and not in a good way... if there is a good way that my brain can be hijacked, and my veins could be run through, and my skin could be crawled through... ugh. This song is not only unpleasant, it's gross. So, let's bring this back to Kristina Maria's personality as an artist, which is bitchy, catty, and overall unpleasant from what I've heard... yet also, boring. Just listen to this song:
"You don't have the right to cry"? Who the hell are you to dictate another person's feelings? Shut up.
This song isn't as bad, but Kristina's established personality makes it suck by association. Kristina sings about how "karma's gonna get" this guy, when I'm just waiting for karma to get her for being such a toxic person. Yet her music also sounds half-assed, rather than truly angry. Kristina Maria speaks to a very angry, yet mellow, population, I suppose. But when her anger isn't misplaced, it's poorly thought out and reflects badly on her. She's pretty much the Cher Lloyd of Canada, if you will, only with less personality. What an awful artist. Canada, please stop buying this girl's music. It's not worth it. Hell, if you want to stay homegrown, choose Alanis Morissette. Now there's a woman who uses anger correctly. Rock on Alanis, and go away Kristina.
So, today's Monday Musing, we'll deal with a topic that I'm not as well-rounded for talking about, but that is no doubt connected to music: The movies.
Yes, remember this little gem? Well, you should. Because it's still here, in our collective minds. I recently had the pleasure of actually watching Frozen recently, and it is truly an instant classic. Go out and watch it if you haven't already. It's fantastic. But that's not the important aspect for the purposes of this blog. I want to talk about how the soundtrack has topped the Billboard album chart for twelve weeks. You know, I thought that YouTube videos were the new movies in terms of a visual medium dictating Billboard chart trends, but this has me thinking: Are movies still important? Well, yes. Movies are still important. No matter if people are viewing them on Netflix or in the theater, movies are still a huge part of people's lives, and the focus of a lot of critiquing. But are they still as important to Billboard hits as they used to be? That's where I come in, and I'll see if the trends ring in favour or out of favour of the silver screen. One thing I can look at to determine whether movies still have a glaring presence on the charts today is Billboard's recent list of the Top 50 Movie Songs of All Time, ranking the hits based on how big of a hit they were. Looking at the Top 10 of this list, we can determine that movies stopped being important to Billboard hits about 20-some years ago. Looking back a little, however, we start to see hits from the 21st century, such as "Lose Yourself" and "Independent Women". Honestly though, the most recent entry to make the list was 2006's "Check on It", used during the closing credits of The Pink Panther. And it only sits at number 50. So it could be argued that no, movies don't have nearly the same effect on Billboard hits as they used to. But then you look at a movie like Frozen, and its effect on Billboard. Not only has the soundtrack album refused to budge from the top spot on the album chart for quite some time now, but "Let it Go" has become and honest-to-goodness Billboard Hot 100 Hit, still refusing to drop out of the Top 10. Even other songs from the album have charted, despite not really becoming hits. So it's not really fair to say that movies have dropped out of the Billboard consciousness completely. But is Frozen just an anomaly in a long-dead Billboard factor? Have there been other movie hits recently? Well, there's been a few. Remember this?
Of course if you're a Twi-hard, you will. That's Bruno Mars' "It Will Rain", a song featured on whatever Twilight movie was popular at the time I really don't care. It was a pretty big deal in early 2012, peaking at #3 on the Hot 100 and making the year-end list at #26. There was also this,
which was the lead single off of Step Up 3's soundtrack album. So, the hits are still there. They're just not quite as prominent. So, to answer the question, "Are movies still important for Billboard hits?", I'm gonna go ahead and say that they're not really that important, and that YouTube is more important right now. Yes, there are still hits, but I think Frozen is a complete fluke (or, its grossing of a billion-plus dollars at the box office may have something to do with it) and we won't see a movie make this much difference in the Billboard charts anytime soon.
It's certainly different. The biggest departure I've ever heard Ed Sheeran take from his music. But is it better? Well, that's a question that can only be answered in the rest of this blog post. That's why you're here, isn't it? I thought so. Let's begin! Ed Sheeran's mainstream success begins in 2011, where his first single "The A Team" blew up in the UK, selling over 58,000 copies in its first week. His success continued into America, when "The A Team" received radio airplay there and ended up becoming a hit there as well. And as far as his wild success in America goes... well, that's about it. None of his other singles have really caught on the way "The A Team" did, and it may have resigned Sheeran to one-hit wonder status. Until now, with his new song, "Sing".
Okay, where did this come from? It completely flew under my radar, and now it's sitting pretty in the Top 20. And like I said, this is not your typical Ed Sheeran song. Possibly because Pharrell Williams played a huge hand in making it.
Yep, there he is. Pharrell's already cemented to become one of the biggest stars of 2014 (with his hat co-starring, of course). So to help write and produce a song for fading flame Ed Sheeran to boost him back into our minds seems like only the noble thing to do. This song shows us a whole new side of Ed Sheeran: The sexy side. I need you darling Come on set the tone If you feel you’re falling Won’t you let me know Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh I've seen a lot of sides of Ed Sheeran. There's been the sweet, sensitive boy, the... sweet, sensitive boy, and... the sweet, sensitive boy. Actually, this is not only a whole new side, it's the only other side I've seen. So how well does it hold up? It's an okay song, I guess. Pharrell's production and lyrics really shine here, meeting every expectation you have for the man. The only problem is... Sheeran's reputation precedes him. Specifically, his sweet, sensitive reputation and his sweet, sensitive voice. I'm just having a little trouble buying this, because despite the production and lyrics, Ed Sheeran's still singing this song. At some points he makes it work, but at some points it just falls flat. He doesn't have the right voice to carry a song like this. That said, the song is extremely catchy and I do like Ed Sheeran. So I will give this song a pass. Just not one of my favourites of the year so far.
As we work our way through a new month, let's look at some more music news! Justin Bieber dropped a new song last week called "Hard2FaceReality". No comment on the title, but listen to it here. Victor Willis of The Village People has banned the L.A. Clippers from using the song "Y.M.C.A." during their games due to racist comments made by owner Donald Sterling. Willis has followed up with an official notice. This really just goes to show the extent to which Sterling's remarks offended, and despite the prevalence of racist people in power, how much we have progressed as a society to provide such backlash to such remarks. In lighter news, Willie Nelson has received his fifth-degree black belt in the martial art of Gong Kwon Yu Sul. It turns out that while pursuing his career in music, he has also been practicing martial arts for decades. Hey, it's news to me. In light of PSY becoming an international sensation thanks to YouTube, Billboard has released a list of the most-watched K-pop videos in the past few months, both in America and globally. Check out the list here. After hinting at it, Mariah Carey has officially announced her 14th album, Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse. The YouTube clip announcing the project explains that the album is based on her "first and only self-portrait". The album will feature last year's hit "#Beautiful", as well as guest spots from Nas, Mary J. Blige, and R. Kelly. Naya Rivera has been dropped from her record label, Columbia Records. After little success with her debut single, "Sorry", Columbia has dropped her from the label without releasing a full-length about. Rumours also persist that she has been fired from Glee, after a feud with co-star Lea Michele. Finally, 5 Seconds of Summer are slated to perform at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards, to be held May 18th at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. They will join a lineup of previously-announced artists such as Jason Derulo, OneRepublic, Imagine Dragons, and John Legend. And that's it for this week! Seeya tomorrow with another pop song!
If I was a rich girl, na na na na na- oh, it's the other song.
This week, once again, we're back in the 70s, this time with "Rich Girl" by Daryl Hall and John Oates. This is a short song, clocking in at under two and a half minutes. Sometimes, a short song is just what you need to get a simple point across. And what is the point that Daryl Hall is trying to get across? Well, it's that rich people are entitled assholes. You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far 'Cause you know it don't matter anyway Specifically, this rich girl is an entitled asshole, leeching off of her rich parents and basically contributing nothing to society. At least, that's what it's supposed to be about. To me, the guy just sounds jealous. Don't you know, don't you know That it's wrong to take what is given you Why? Why should you refuse to accept something given to you? Should I not have received all those birthday presents as a kid? Thanks a lot, Daryl. Now I'm suffering from 7-year-old guilt. I feel like this song could have worked, but it's never really specified why the narrator has such contempt for this rich girl. There's vague statements: It's so easy to hurt others when you can't feel pain I suppose it could be argued that she acts rather snobby because she's a rich girl, or her heart has grown cold or whatever, but I don't really buy it. There's no specifics to justify this prejudice. Wait a minute... It's so easy to hurt others when you can't feel pain And don't you know that a love can't grow A... love? Is this guy trying to be a gold digger and failing? You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far Gone too far how? Did she reject your advances because you were leeching money off of her leeching money? Oh, wow. Oh... wow. I don't even think I have the right interpretation here, but even so... this just made the song a little more poignant for me. It's amazing how music works. No matter how obvious the lyrics are, any kind of interpretation can be made. Or at the very least, if you've got a catchy song like this one, you can listen to it anyway without thinking too hard. God, a gold digger. I really am crazy sometimes.
I've been bringing up this topic a couple times in my reviews, so I feel that it's appropriate to establish myself as an ally in the LGBT community's continuing struggle for rights. And with that in mind, here I present to you the top ten gay anthems. Now, I will fully admit to not being an expert in this field, and as a result will also admit that this list would look better and be more accurate coming from a gay person. But I feel like it's important for a straight person to recognize the LGBT community with lists like these. So, on to it! 10. "Your Disco Needs You" - Kylie Minogue
"Your Disco Needs You" was released in 2001 and has since been hailed as one of the greatest gay anthems of all time. Indeed, its inspiring tone and disco references resonated well with the gay community. Most recently, the song was used in a music video promoting equality in Russia during the Sochi Olympics. I recommend you give it a watch; the caricature of Vladimir Putin is entertaining and the video is quite heart-wrenching. 9. "Vogue" - Madonna
Madonna has been hailed as not only a gay icon, but "the greatest gay icon" according to the magazine The Advocate. So it's only fitting that one of her magnum opuses became well-received among the gay community. Madonna's own experiences with the gay community trace back to her days as a teenager, and has stated that she "wouldn't have a career if it weren't for the gay community". In celebration of this positive influence,
8. "Same Love" - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert
I put "Same Love" pretty low on this list, because I know a lot of people have problems with it. But I feel like the fact that the dialogue was introduced at all in the notoriously homophobic genre of hip hop earns it a spot on this list. I honestly don't really see what problems people have with this song. It's not completely from a straight guy's perspective. It has a gay singer on the chorus! Yes, gay rappers deserve more recognition. But it's a process, and the fact that Macklemore got the wheel rolling deserves recognition in itself.
7. "I Will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor
Honestly, this song could be used as an anthem for just about anybody. It's that powerful. The original meaning of the song is recovering after a bad breakup, and doing so with style. "I will survive" is just such a great mantra for the gay community, and like I said, anybody really, to use.
6. "I'm Coming Out" - Diana Ross
Both the lyrics and the fabulous beat really sell this one as a gay anthem. I mean, "I'm coming out" is kind of an easy comparison to make, but all the lyrics relate well. It's also a very positive-sounding song, which is good for a revolution. 5. "I Want to Break Free" - Queen
If there's anything to cement this as a gay anthem in people's eyes, it's the music video, which shows all four members of Queen gender-bending. Combine that with the iconic words of Freddie Mercury, "I want to break free", and you have yourself a statement. Maybe a silly statement, as the video was meant to be a parody of Coronation Street, but it still works. Actually, the song has been regarded worldwide as an anthem for fighting against oppression. The video has not been as widely regarded, but such a powerful song statement can be appropriated for the use of other fights against injustice. 4. "True Colors" - Cyndi Lauper
Throughout Cyndi Lauper's career, she has been a strong supporter of LGBT rights. So it might be surprising to know that her song that has been widely accepted as a gay anthem was never really intended that way, or at least not explicitly so. However, Cyndi has always loved the fact that her song was adopted by the gay community, and has since co-founded the True Colors Fund, an organization dedicated to eradicating LGBT youth homelessness. 3. "I Am What I Am" - Gloria Gaynor
The second of two Gloria Gaynor songs to make the list, this one was composed for the musical La Cage aux Folles. The musical focuses on the prejudice a gay couple faces, and the song illustrates one character's pride in being a drag queen, and how he refuses to change for anyone. Once Gloria Gaynor had covered it, it had shown itself as a rallying cry for the gay pride movement. 2. "Born This Way" - Lady Gaga
The only hit song I've ever heard to include the word "transgender", Lady Gaga's gay anthem is all-inclusive. It was one of the few gay anthems on here actually meant to be written as a gay anthem, which prompts some to call it one of the best. In 2012, Lady Gaga launched the Born This Way Foundation, an organization dedicated to the empowerment of youth. Both the foundation and the song help to empower LGBT youth. 1. "Beautiful" - Christina Aguilera
No song has empowered the gay community more than "Beautiful" during the 21st century. Its message of self-empowerment and feeling beautiful has definitely resonated with the LGBT community. It has been covered as part of the It Gets Better Project, and Stonewall, an LGBT rights organization in the United Kingdom, named it the most empowering song of the decade for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. "Beautiful"'s simple yet powerful message and its effect on the gay community earns it the Number 1 spot.
Okay, you're a straight-up liar if you can't appreciate a band called Fitz and the Tantrums just for their name.
But even if you need another reason to like the band, here's a good one: Their music is awesome. And now they're making ground on the Heatseekers chart, currently sitting at #4 with their above-shown hit, "The Walker". If this makes it onto the top half of the Hot 100, I will be so freakin' pleased. You see, the indie rock scene has been... quite dreary lately.
Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but it's nice to hear something that sounds more upbeat from an indie band, kind of like Neon Trees.
I love Neon Trees. In a genre that usually sounds rather dreary, they're there to pump it up with some wonderful jams. But we haven't been getting Neon Trees hits lately. So, enter Fitz and the Tantrums, a band from LA that originated in 2008 and are finally making their way up the Billboard Hot 100. Oh, here we go Feel it in my soul Really need it, need it, so go Gotta feel it, body takes control Really need it, need it Damn, that chorus. So full of energy and life. We need more songs like this, especially since the Top 5 has remained stagnant for quite some time now. Not that the songs are bad... well, except "Talk Dirty"... but we need a change. Hell, I need a change. Something to break through the Top 5 to the mainstream public. And maybe this is the song to do it. Let's really think about this: When was the last time we had a huge, and I mean HUGE, indie hit? The last one I can think of is "Radioactive". We need another "Radioactive" for 2014! Come on, America! Billboard Success: Will they have it? Maybe not to the extent that I'm suggesting, but they've already blown up on the Alt Charts. I can see them at least having a Top 20 hit with "The Walker". Should they have it? God, yes. We need these guys to liven things up around here. I need them, at least. Please let Fitz and the Tantrums become popular, maybe even to the point of their song playing so often that I never want to hear it ever again... You know, on second thought, maybe it's better if they don't blow up so quickly. But they do deserve success, and I will root for them the whole way through. Long live "The Walker". Long live Fitz and the Tantrums.
Ah, Down With Webster. What can I say about Down With Webster?
I'll start by saying that Down With Webster are an enjoyable band to me. For the most part, they don't seem to take themselves too seriously, yet they can usually pull off a serious song when they do one. But sometimes... they don't.
This is "Jessica", and it is by a country mile their worst song. Totally muddled in its tone, and as a result it comes off as stupid, bro-douchey, and lllaaaaammmmeeee. I always get so put off by this line in particular: I want your best friend, I need your best friend We can be best friends, but I want your best friend Wow. That's... that's the line you're going with, huh buddy? Next time just stick with "it's not you, it's me". I never know how seriously I'm supposed to take this song, and that presents a problem for me. It also questions my faith in the band (I take my music religiously). Can they pull off another serious song? Here to answer that question is their latest song, "Chills".
Finally! A Canadian song we can actually be proud of! So the one thing with Down With Webster is that when they write songs about girls, they always seem endlessly fascinated by them. "She's Dope": Girl you're a star, attention is nothing new to you "Your Man": I saw you again when I was sober and I had a crush like an empty soda can Not only is that their strong suit, it's also partly why "Jessica" didn't work. Down With Webster songs are monogamous. They might be goofballs overall, but they tend to stick to one girl, not leave one for another on a whim. "Chills" reinforces that idea. These chills didn't come from the cold They came from you I just wish that they didn't release this song right after a long, cold, blustery winter. Bad memories of Winter 2014, people. Bad memories... but that's pretty much the only problem I have with this song. Camm's always a joy to hear as he turns clichés on their heads: I mean this in the best way when I tell you that you're cold as hell That makes no sense Okay, here's what I really, really enjoy about Down With Webster: They not only have little to no game, they openly admit that they have little to no game. You have so many rappers these days thinking that they're hot stuff, and then they use pickup lines like these: 2 Chainz: Dos Cadenas, close to genius Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis I would much rather... wait, say again 2 Chainz? Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis Ohh god. I should have spent more time on "Talk Dirty". Anyway, I would much rather hear somebody awkwardly talking to a girl like this, almost to the point of getting starstruck. It's more realistic, and more relatable. And Down With Webster's "Chills" is just what you need for that down-to-earth feeling. Again, I just wish that I didn't have to hear "Chills" so soon after a terrible winter. Minor nitpick, but it's better than the major nitpicks I've had with other Canadian songs so far. I'm finally excited for the future of Canadian music! What else is popular over here that I can review?
Today's Monday Musing will focus on that age-old topic: the goddang rap music and its hippity hoppetin' and bippity boppetin'.
Specifically, the rap music that comes out these days. Am I just hopelessly nostalgic for the 90's, or has rap music truly taken a downfall recently? Let's take a look back at the beginnings of rap music to find out. Rap music has many possible influences that you can trace back to, including blues music, comedy records, spoken-word poetry, funk music, and even schoolyard chants. But the moment rap music started coming into the mainstream was with The Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight".
Rap music back then was simple. Simple flow, and the topics mostly ranged from partying and having a good time to having a good time and partying. Then came "The Message".
"The Message", while still simple in terms of flow, dealt with much heavier topics of poverty, ghettos and racism. This paved the way for gangsta rap to come in full force in the late 80's and early 90's, often referred to as hip hop's "Golden Age". Indeed, this was a time when the idea of hip hop was constantly reinventing itself, and each new artist on the scene brought something new to the constantly-growing hip hop table. Throughout the 90's, some of hip hop's best artists were prevalent on Billboard's Hot 100. And then... things started to get stupid.
It was almost as if hip hop started reverting around 2002. There were still artists like Eminem and Outkast releasing thoughtful, well-written hip hop, but people were starting to accept lowest-common-denominator party hip hop songs, which were revolutionary back in 1979, but are tepid today. Yet, today they're more popular than ever, with artists like Pitbull and Flo Rida releasing party jam after party jam. What happened? Why did people start accepting this into the mainstream instead of thought-provoking lyrics? Well, it might be because the 2000s were an exhausting, stressful time for everyone. In the wake of disasters like 9/11, Hurricane Katrina and the economic recession, people needed to lighten up with party music. And as Flo Rida will show you, it is very, very easy to make party music out of rap. So, because we've had songs like these ingrained in pop culture for quite some time now, it might take a while before we're ready to shift again. Not that there's anything wrong with party jams... in principle, but too many party jams make me weary. But there is hope on the horizon. With artists like Lupe Fiasco and J. Cole on the scene, as well as Eminem returning, we may be on the verge of something new. But then again, with Pitbull and Jason Derulo still here, maybe not. It's your future, America. Do what you feel is right for your country. Just like you did when you re-elected Bush. Was that a cheap shot? Feel free to leave a Rob Ford joke in the comments.
