Sunday, January 4, 2015

"Centuries" - Fall Out Boy

All right, the holidays are over and it's back to business for this old clown. That's right, I started a clowning business on the side. Got the big red nose and everything. Pretty ridiculous, right? Well, if you think that's ridiculous... it is. But take a look at this anyway.



Fall Out Boy, what happened? You've gone all... pretentious.

Okay, remember the Fall Out Boy of yesteryear? Not a band you'd typically associate with high art upon first listen. But beyond Patrick Stump's dog wailing and the simple instrumentation, there was a certain appeal to Fall Out Boy. If nothing else, you'd argue that they at least had a pulse-pounding energy to their sound. And on their best songs, they just went with that aspect and took it to the extreme. At their best, they knew their strengths and played them out to their full potential. At their worst? Uh... well.... okay, seriously, what the hell is this "Centuries" song.

Boys, pretentiousness is not a good look for you. Maybe it works for Lorde, or Lana Del Rey, and that's great for them! But you guys are supposed to be fun, and I don't think this song is any fun at all. I put their 2013 hit on my best list, but 2013 was a lackluster year for good music and that at least had some good guitar to go with it. This is just full-on pretentiousness. What the hell happened?

Well, I'll tell you what happened. After their breakup, the members of Fall Out Boy took some time for themselves and to further their solo careers. Patrick moonlighted as a songwriter, Pete wrote a novel, et cetera, et cetera. Through that time, they all matured and came back together to reinvent themselves as a band. And when you read through the hardships that the band members have went through, it does garner some sympathy for each of them. But I'm sorry, music criticism is music criticism, and if I'm going to do this, I have to do this fairly, based solely on the merits of the song. And I'm sorry, old Fall Out Boy is objectively better.

This is just not a good fit for them. At all. It goes against everything Fall Out Boy was good at, and it puts them into a whole new environment that they haven't adapted well to. Fall Out Boy might fall out of my good graces if they continue like this.

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