Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: May 30, 2020

Another exciting week on the Top 10, with "Savage" finally getting a well-deserved #1 placement, making this Megan Thee Stallion's first ever #1. Good stuff! We also saw both new entries drop out of the Top 10 this week, replaced with "Life is Good" which probably got a streaming boost off of the future album bomb, and "Intentions" because God hates you. "ROCKSTAR" also continues its climb up the charts as it continues to be a streaming monster. In fact...

Predictions:

I think "ROCKSTAR" is all but set to be the new #1, maybe as soon as next week. The only viable competition I can think of is "Rain on Me" coming next week, which will definitely debut Top 5 minimum.

Sunday, May 24, 2020

The Big Day by Chance the Rapper - ALBUM REVIEW

A photograph of a hand holding up a transparent CD covered with diamonds

I don't like overly long albums. This is an overly long album.

That said, I really don't think it's as bad as some people make it out to be. Yeah, it's corny, but it feels like it's corny with a purpose. It's not like you wouldn't hear lyrics of this caliber from Eminem's later work, and he makes it downright miserable. This is at least a happy, fun listen to some degree. Of course, that kind of goofy attitude can only go on for so long.

Did this album really need to be over an hour? I'm not even sure really if the songs toward the end are that much worse than the ones at the beginning, but it sure feels like it because this album is such a slog after a while. It's like, there's only so much I can take of these corny lyrics and his, frankly, pretty awful singing. The attitude of this album makes it feel aimless after a long while, and the barrage of guest stars feels like Chance just throwing spaghetti at a wall and seeing what sticks. Most of them feel superfluous and picked at random.

I feel like a lot of these problems could be solved with trimming. You could have had a short and sweet album, but it turned into a long and, at times, painful experience. There are a few songs I like on here, but most of it gets monotonous after a while. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a bad album, but it's definitely not a good one.

5/10

Best Tracks: "Hot Shower" (ft. MadeinTYO & DaBaby), "Roo" (ft. Taylor Bennett & CocoRosie)

Friday, May 22, 2020

Wumbo's Top 10 Hits of 1978

Okay! Time to remind ourselves why the 70s were so damn great.

---

I'm not the hugest Olivia Newton-John fan. But even I am able to admit when there's an exception to my rules.

10. "Hopelessly Devoted to You" - Olivia Newton-John

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7433YZ9exRI

It's interesting. On the surface, this seems to me like exactly the type of Olivia Newton-John song I would dislike. But then again, I don't really like any Olivia Newton-John songs but this one, so I guess there really isn't a "type". So why does this one work for me?

Well, I guess it helps that I like Grease as the incredibly corny, fun movie that it is. And I'd argue this song is one of the movie's more underrated moments that comes off surprisingly sincere. I think it's the twang of the guitar, making this almost a country-pop song. And unlike most Olivia Newton-John songs, I feel the chorus with this one. She really sings her heart out here, which you kind of have to do for a title of this scale. It works. And it's also not the only Grease you'll be seeing on this list.

---

Sandy?!

9. "You're the One That I Want" - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oKPYe53h78

Again, Grease is a totally cornball movie that can't be taken seriously in the slightest. And this is the crowning moment of the movie. A bunch of 20-30 year olds pretending to be teenagers revealing the moral of the story: change for your man. As I said, don't take the movie too seriously.

This is Olivia Newton-John's best performance. And John Travolta's... well, he tries. The point is that the song is instantly recognizable and catchy, with a relentless chorus. Even if you don't know the movie, you're probably at least aware of this hook. It's the cap-off to a pretty enjoyable movie, and for good reason.

---

You won't begrudge me a little bit of dad-rock on here, will you?

8. "Hot Blooded" - Foreigner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hA2fzvzT_w

Foreigner is one of those bands that is objectively middle-of-the-road with a few great songs. But for some reason, they just resonate with me. Maybe it's Lou Gramm singing his heart out at any given opportunity. Maybe it's the familiar guitar sound. Maybe it's that they sound like a less ambitious version of Boston. But whatever it is, they got it. Come on, who doesn't like this song? It's the ultimate mid-life crisis song. Yeah, I don't know. I just think the chorus kicks, is all.

---

I've always wanted to put Billy Joel on one of these lists. Now is the time.

7. "Just the Way You Are" - Billy Joel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaA3YZ6QdJU

Ah, who else was introduced to this song through Shrek? No one? Just me? Anyway...

Billy Joel has always been a hypnotizing lyricist, and this is one of the sweetest love songs about staying complacent I've ever heard.

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard

Hey, same. How 'bout them Broncos?

But really, that's what makes the song work. It's a song with realistic expectations and goals, painting a very real relationship effortlessly. and normally I'm not the biggest soft rock fan, but it really works here. The understatement of the whole song really drives the point home that there's no need for grand gestures, as long as you can accept each other the way you are. Conversely, random sax solos never hurt a song either. I like this song just the way it is.

---

I may have to rescind my soft rock comment, specifically for this list...

6. "Baby Come Back" - Player

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn-enjcgV1o

Pretty much impossible to resist the value of this song. It is such a classic, I'm sure everyone and their mother knows it, at least by the chorus. But yeah, another soft rock song I actually enjoy. It helps when the song still has a groove to it, and not just lilting and limp. I can still feel this song, despite its comparatively mellow energy. You could picture John Cusack from Say Anything blaring this on the boombox instead. Maybe if the movie took place ten years earlier.

But yeah, this is a killer song, especially for its genre. I especially love when it picks up towards the end with that guitar. Everything seems to happen at just the right moment and right frequency. Cool.

---

OKAY SO WHEN I SAID I DIDN'T LIKE SOFT ROCK I WASN'T COGNIZANT THAT HALF THIS FUCKING LIST WAS SOFT ROCK

5. "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" - Meat Loaf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5hWWe-ts2s

How could I resist this song? It's impossible. Meat Loaf may be kind of a dick, but he sure knows how to put on a performance, even when he his to turn the lights down a little. The theatrics of this song, as with every Meat Loaf song, are incredible, rivaled only by Queen in his heyday. Yet I'm not sure even Queen could pull off the poise and composure it takes to make such a heart-wrenching song as this. Yes, even the "cracker jack box" line. Meat Loaf makes it work. He's so captivating as a performer, and pretty much steals the show with this song.

So yes! Soft rock can be good. Quite frequently, it turns out.

---

*shrug*

4. "Dust in the Wind" - Kansas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH2w6Oxx0kQ

May as well beat this joke into the ground even further, right? Okay, do you notice that despite all these songs being gathered under the umbrella term "soft rock", they are all distinctive and serve their own purpose? That's what I'm talking about here. So many songs just do not have that it factor in this genre, but these last four songs I've highlighted do, in very different ways. Take this song for example. It's pretty much unlike anything in the genre. It may be soft rock, but it defies formula by having very minimal instrumentation and letting the song live and die on strings, powerful vocals, and lyrical sentiments. It's a bold move, but somehow it paid off. I'm not the biggest Kansas fan, but between this and "Carry on Wayward Son", they certainly got some well-deserved acclaim.

---

Finally! Not a soft rock song. A disco song by white people!

3. "Stayin' Alive" - Bee Gees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNFzfwLM72c

It would be almost sacrilege not to put this song on a Top 10 list of 1978. Feels just a bit wrong that the biggest disco song of all time is performed by white guys, but it's undeniable the energy that the Gibb brothers bring to this song. It is truly one of the most enduring songs of the era. Everyone and their mother knows this song. It is a tour de force. All this even despite the fact that Barry Gibb sounds like a Tickle Me Elmo on steroids. Which is why I can't usually get into the Bee Gees' music, to be honest. But here, it just works. And I attribute it to the unforgettable groove this song has. Just by the opening notes, you already know what it is. An inimitable star of a song.

---

So there's a lot of soft rock on this list. But by the late 1970s, rock was evolving and making its way into the mainstream in all sorts of new ways, paving the way for the weird and wonderful early 80s. One of the clear evolutions was punk rock's path into new wave. For the 1978 year-end, I can't think of a better song to represent that than this one.

2. "Because the Night" - Patti Smith Group

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_BcivBprM0

"Because the Night" is one of those songs that is dearly beloved by the music world. One of those songs that everyone wants to take a stab at. It's a wonderfully gothic song that probably inspired a lot more music in the decades to come than you might originally think. I can draw a clear line between this and new wave, bands like The Cure and The Smiths, and even the Lilith fair rock that came in the 90s. Actually not surprising for that last one, given the 10,000 Maniacs cover. Even artists like Pat Benatar and Cyndi Lauper. This is exactly the brash kind of performance that may have inspired some of the 80s' greatest female stars. It's such a fireball of a track, and more than deserving of a spot on this list.

---

Come on.

1. "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" - Queen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNWvNEPsilI

Yeah, it's an obvious choice, but sometimes the obvious choice is also the right one. There was no way this one-two punch wasn't going to top this list. It's Queen. They're great. I shouldn't have to tell you this.

There's a reason this is a sports stadium staple. It's the anthem to end all anthems. It's such a simple concept, stomp-stomp-clap, stomp-stomp-clap. But it works so well. And of course, "We Are The Champions" is the logical track to follow. Just as triumphant, but with even more bombast. Freddie Mercury is one of the greatest singers who ever lived. You feel every word he sings. And it's a mindblowing pair of songs to this day. Rock on forever, Queen.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: May 23, 2020

Looks like The Billboard Hot 100 is daring to get more interesting. Unfortunately, this means we have to deal with the rainbow-haired troll, but hopefully he'll be out of the Top 10 sooner rather than later. Contrary to my belief, that Ariana Grande song is not a cover of Huey Lewis and let me tell you, I couldn't be more disappointed.

Beyond that, not a terribly large amount of movement as older songs start to fade out. "Circles" is still in the Top 10, which is baffling to me, but I guess a downbeat song for downbeat times does make sense when you think about it. And no one's gonna remember "Toosie Slide" in a couple months, so there ya go.

Predictions:

In terms of the two new arrivals, I think "Stuck with U" is here to stay, while "GOOBA" fortunately is not. "ROCKSTAR" appears to have gotten a second wind and I could see it breaking the Top 5. Beyond that, my usual Tiktok predictions are once again climbing after Drake's demo tape bomb fades out. I'll be bold this week and say "Roses" is set for a Top 10 entry next week, especially with the older songs fading.

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: May 16, 2020

All right! Our first real shake-up of the Top 10 in a long time, with the dueling remixes settling in at #1 and #2 respectively. Congrats to Nicki Minaj for getting a #1 hit by completely ruining a song, her fans must be so proud. Beyond that, we also have the surprisingly muted impact of Drake's... demo tape bomb. Guess that's what happens when you lose out to Kenny fucking Chesney."Toosie Slide" actually fell a spot this week. Could Drake's impact be fading?

Regardless, it's nice to see at least one of my predictions come true as DaBaby soars back to the Top 10 with "ROCKSTAR". Also, "Circles" is still here. Why is "Circles" still here?

Predictions:

Most of these changes are short-lived, I reckon. Especially since we have two new songs coming next week and challenging for Top Ten spots. One is "GOOBA" by 6ix9ine, a song which unfortunately exists. Another is Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber's "Stuck with U", which I can only assume is a cover of the Huey Lewis song. Beyond that, the "Roses" remix is probably coming for the Top 10 in the next couple weeks.

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

The Life of Pablo by Kanye West - ALBUM REVIEW

The life of pablo alternate.jpg

So, I just covered Taylor Swift's album reputation. I may as well cover the album that led to that album, and reignited the feud between two of the biggest personalities of the 2010s. Now, i'm not going to get into all that drama, because frankly, I truly do not care, and it was a while ago. But I think it's worth it to look at the album with the offending track on its own merits. How does it hold up?

I think many people have accepted that Kanye hasn't been at his peak for a while now. You may have liked Yeezus, and you may have even liked this album. But most people would not put these albums in the top tier of Kanye, and it kind of got worse from there. Now me, I liek this album just fine. It certainly could have been a better experience, but there are some really killer tracks toward the end of this thing.

The way you experience time with this album is weird. The songs near the beginning feel too short, but the album feels too long. I think it's because the first few songs don't really feel like songs, more so like musical experiments. They're interesting, for sure, but it's hard to judge them as songs because they almost feel unfinished. This problem gets solved around the second half of the album, where the songs feel more complete and thought out, and we actually get bars from Kanye. The second half of this album is considerably stronger than the first.

Lotta guest voices on this one. Most of them do their part to enhance the songs, but it also feels like Kanye himself gets lost in the shuffle on some of his songs. It's odd to have that happen with one of the most dynamic personalities in music, and while it still feels like a Kanye album, some of that flair that comes with it gets lost. It's still a good album, but I wouldn't put it anywhere near Kanye's best, and this is a clear indication that Kanye's peak may have passed. Maybe I'll get around to reviewing other Kanye albums (barring that gospel thing, because no) to really track what happened.

7/10

Best Tracks: "Real Friends", "Wolves", "30 Hours", "No More Parties in LA"

Monday, May 11, 2020

reputation by Taylor Swift - ALBUM REVIEW

Black-and-white image of Taylor Swift with the album's name written across it

A while ago, I talked about Taylor Swift's Lover album and how it was her most underwhelming project to date. I bring it up because it is in stark contrast to her previous effort, reputation, which seemed to center around making a statement. You can see it in the very first single, "Look What You Made Me Do", where Taylor straight up says that the old Taylor is "dead". It doesn't get much more clear than that.

I guess what I'm trying to answer here is, does making a statement automatically translate to greatness? It certainly allows for the potential to be great moreso than a milquetoast album like Lover, but big statements have the risk of backfiring just as big. With reputation, what I found was a totally mixed bag.

I am actually for this album on concept alone. I've always liked it when pop stars develop an ego larger-than-life and it's clear that's where Taylor is headed with this album. Having stepped fully into the pop world with her last album, 1989, it only makes sense that she'd try to cultivate a defined personality with reputation. The results may be mixed, but the effort is there.

"Look What You Made Me Do" is the clear standout from the album in the worst possible way. It is baffling just how bad Taylor is at picking her lead singles. I get that this is certainly the most direct song for what she's going for, but it really does sound like ass and should have been left on the cutting board. Songs like "Don't Blame Me" and "I Did Something Bad" get the point of the album across without... sounding like complete ass. Neither of these scream "lead single" either, but maybe the first song on the album, "...Ready for It?" would have made more sense? I dunno, it's a confounding decision.

Amid the cattiness, there stand out some genuinely sweet songs as well that help to cut through the harshness of this album's tones. "Delicate" is just that, a light, airy pop song that effortlessly floats in your brain. The album's closer, "New Year's Day", is also very nice-sounding in its melancholy. "Getaway Car" is a fireball of a song and should have gotten way more attention. That's not to say some of the harsher moments don't work; if they didn't, I wouldn't sign off on this album as a concept. But the balance is key to making this album less jarring.

Speaking of jarring, let's have a song with Ed Sheeran and Future! Yeah, I won't pretend like "Look What You Made Me do" is the only nonsensical choice on this album. As I said, with big risk can come big backfire, and for every good choice, there's a bad one, mostly coming through in the production. A lot of these songs just have these ugly synths slathered over what could have been pretty good songs, ruining the mood. I get that some of this has to be ugly for the concept to work, but you could have toned it down a little.

All that said, is this a more successful album than Lover? I would argue yes, if only for its ambition. It's still far from the best Taylor Swift album, but I could at least envision someone calling this their favourite Taylor Swift album, because the effort and intent are clear. The good and bad moments on this album round out to a middling score.

6/10

Best Tracks: "Delicate", "So It Goes...", "Getaway Car", "New Year's Day"

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: May 9, 2020

Finally, some actual movement in the Top 10! This comes from a number of releases and goings-on in the weeks prior, most notably a Fortnite concert to secure "THE SCOTTS"' place at #1, and a Beyonce remix letting "Savage" rise all the way to #4, something I did not see coming. It sure puts Megan into contention for that #1 spot in the future, which would be a great thing. Honestly, it's just nice to have legitimate competition for that #1 spot now. And as more mainstays fall out, that competition could get even fiercer. Let's talk about that!

Predictions:

As I said, lots of competition for that #1 spot, between Megan, Drake with his new release, and The Weeknd still holding strong. One song that probably won't be in this conversation is "THE SCOTTS", but I'd argue it still has enough residual streaming to at least stay in the Top 10 next week, if not Top 5. Lots of people are gunning for "Savage" to take that #1, but I'll be different and say "Blinding Lights" will still hold on to it, at least for next week.

In non-#1 news, it looks like DaBaby's "Rockstar" has caught on from his new album, so much so that it might re-enter the Top 10 as the album bomb gains have already worn off. This, along with possible Drake entries, will probably spell the end for songs like "Adore You" which are fading out naturally.