You know, there's a certain wonder to be had when old styles of music and new styles of music can blend together so wonderfully. I'm talking about the song I'm reviewing this Wednesday, "Unstoppable" by Lianne La Havas.
Lianne La Havas is a soul singer who infused electronica-influenced music into her performance. I love the mix here; she uses her classically sounding voice and infuses it with a new sound. It's like sampling, only in reverse. As for the subject matter of the song, it's a song about being blissfully in love. Like, it really goes all the way with the lyrics. They talk about flying into space, and nothing being able to hold them down, not even gravity. and the music certainly helps to complement that mood, with the production sounding almost otherworldly, but also dreamlike, which is exactly the kind of picture that the lyrics detail. I've listened to a few other Lianne La Havas songs and there's definitely some talent here. I do hope that if she doesn't do well on Billboard (which, admittedly, I don't think she will), she at least gets some significant recognition for her music, because she deserves it. This is probably my favourite song I've heard from her, and I hope it will be the one to take her to the top. Buuut probably not, unfortunately. The harsh realities of life come creeping in again.
Every year, MuchMusic (which is Canada's MTV equivalent, except that it actually still plays music on occasion) runs a contest sponsored by Coca-Cola where they find a new Canadian talent by picking the best cover of a song. It's... it's essentially American Idol. Only somehow less dignified. Anyway, today we're looking at one of the winners of said contest, and the first Canadian hit on the new chart in a while, Tyler Shaw.
Now I've known Tyler Shaw ever since he became Canada-famous in 2012 and released his debut single, "Kiss Goodnight". This song didn't do anything for me, but I sincerely doubt that I was the target audience for it anyway. I suppose it was rather harmless, which is really what Tyler Shaw is: a harmless artist. You know, in some ways, that can be worse than being bad. Harmless artists are unmemorable artists, and I certainly don't remember anything else this guy did. But anyway, the man has a new single out, 'House of Cards", which is... just as peripheral and boring as the last song I heard from him! Okay, maybe it's a little different. While "Kiss Goodnight" came off a little clumsy for me, both in the singing and the lyrics, this is a little more polished in that regard. However, the instrumentation in the background is as boring as ever. I swear I heard this exact same backing music on at least ten other songs. While "Kiss Goodnight" was clumsy. it did at least have a happy atmosphere around it and took a little bit of liberty with its production. This is seriously dull. I feel like I could have heard this song from any sort of nobody artist. Okay, well what about the lyrics? Is there anything of substance here? The song's called "House of Cards". Well, that's always a good analogy to make up the backbone of a song. Something so meticulously assembled, but so fragile it could blow over at any second. Katy Perry used this well; could Tyler Shaw do the same? Yeah something was missing in my house of cards And all that I needed was the queen of my heart Oh, puke. Dear God, that... that line was terrible. That sounds like a line that sleazy dudes use to pick up girls at the bar! That's why you wanted to use the symbol of a house of cards? To compare yourself with that guy? Okay, this song just went from boring to bad. I have no patience for artists that take symbols like this and just use them in a throwaway line in the chorus. When Katy Perry is crafting better lyrics than you are, you need to step back and think to yourself about what you're doing. Jesus, what a waste. I'm never drinking Coca-Cola again. At least Pepsi keeps guys like these rightfully unknown. Mmm, it's also got that refreshing taste! Just the right amount of zest and... what? ... Drink Pepsi. (Disclaimer: Blog not officially sponsored by Pepsi, though it is a drink deserving of praise and recognition.)
Yeah, um... Jason Derulo isn't going away, and I really want him to.
You would think that after inflicting his terrible, terrible music on so many people, he would eventually take a break from the business. Does anyone honestly still like listening to this guy? He's an atrocity of a musician! But as the charts continually prove, we value stupid music and stupid performers. So really, why shouldn't Jason Derulo get another hit? Why shouldn't we allow him to still stay relevant in 2015? Why not? Bring it on, I say! Bring on the stupidity! This is "Want to Want Me".
Oh God, do I wish. No, here's the real song.
Oh yeah, I bet this is just going to be another dumb song about how he wants you to shake your ass and he loves it when you get undressed and yada yada yada just get on with it. I'm expecting an incompetent beat to go along with it, of course. ... ...actually, this doesn't sound that bad. In fact, it's almost okay. Even Derulo's voice, while still not great, is tolerable. Which is weird, because I usually can't stand it when he sings in his high register. (See "Trumpets" above.) But for this song, it works for me. Maybe it's because the lyrics aren't as sleazy. I mean, ultimately, he still wants sex, but it's done in a more tasteful way. You open the door Wearing nothing but a smile Ha ha, see? There's something slightly more subtle than Every time that you get undressed I hear symphonies in my head Euuugh. I don't know, I still don't think this is a particularly great song. But it's certainly one of the better Derulo songs I've heard. The song sounds very competent to me, which is a step up from a lot of Derulo's work. Is it enough to be considered a good song? Probably not, but you know, if Derulo keeps improving, he just might miss the cut on one of my Top 30 lists one year or something. Yeah, I rank all the songs of every year. Don't you? No? Um... I'll see myself out.
Even as far back as 1959, the Billboard charts were still running full steam, with a full year-end chart to top it off. And one of the biggest stars of 1959 was Elvis Presley. You may know him as the King of Rock n' Roll, or the guy who did quite a few songs for the Lilo & Stitch Soundtrack, or somebody who really liked fried banana sandwiches. However you remember him, he was no doubt an important figure in the pop music and rock music scene. So let's look at one of his hits today, "I Need Your Love Tonight".
To be honest, the only time I ever hear Presley's name these days is when somebody accuses him of basically appropriating black music and using his privilege to capitalize on it. Which... yeah, he did do that, but isn't there more to the guy than that, cheesy movies, and unhealthy eating habits? Well, saying that Presley "stole" black music is a little shortsighted. Throughout his life, he had the utmost respect for African-American culture and their music, and plenty of black performers at the time respected him. Yeah, it's true that his being white helped him to achieve success, but that's the system that you can blame, not the man. And for what it's worth, Elvis was a very talented musician. He knew just the right inflections in his voice he had to make to roll with the groove, as evidenced by this song. He was a very charming performer, and definitely deserved every moment of stage presence he could get. Honestly, I don't think people these days give Elvis enough credit. There are more reasons he became famous than simply that he was a white guy doing black music: he was a white guy doing black music well. Given that Vanilla Ice became famous, I think we can allow for Elvis to do the same, especially since he was far more talented than Ice will ever be. That's a fact.
Ugggghhhh. So, what's good about this song in particular? Well, like I said, Elvis has great control over the rhythm of his voice, flowing right along with the instruments. The song really swings, and it's also just the right length. A lot of pop songs back then were really short, and given the lack of true subject matter in the lyrics, that sounds exactly right. Ooh wee, he needs your love tonight. Not much more to say. So yeah. I hope that I can instill a better outlook on Elvis's music looking back, because he does deserve another look these days. Elvis Presley: truly a king of music.
All right, today let's take it back to Motown Records. And I'm not talking about your Temptations or Supremes or anything like that. No, I'm talkin' waaay back to 1960, where we take a look at one of the first Motown artists, Marv Johnson.
Berry Gordy, the founder of Motown Records, discovered Marv and had him record his record label's first single, "Come to Me". That song had a fair amount of success and cemented Johnson's reputation for creating happy, upbeat R&B songs. And we now come to this song, "I Love the Way You Love". Isn't that nice. A lot of love goin' round! I do think that's really nice. Yeah, but it's not exactly a groundbreaking song in any way. He loves the way his woman loves. Or you know, possibly his man, can't keep the options closed off here. But yeah, it's just full of romantic, sweet gestures like holding one's hand, and stickin' by your lover, and making each other feel so fine. Now, I don't dislike this song in any way, you understand. Retreads of old subject matter can be enjoyable if they're at least listenable. And this song fits that role, being upbeat and happy all the way through. You definitely believe that Marv does love the way his lover loves. Try saying that three times fast. He loves the way his lover loves, he loves the way his lover loves, he loves the way his lover loves. Well, of course, it's easier for me because i'm just typing it. But seriously, try it out.
Hey, remember "Rather Be"? That really good song from late 2014?
Sure you do. I reviewed it and everything. As opinions change, I think I was harsher on the song that I should have been, but I made up for it by putting it on my Top 10 list of the year! Seriously, I talked about the song a lot. Well, now we can talk more in depth about one of its artists, Jess Glynne!
Wait... sorry, that's Hootie and the Blowfish's "Hold My Hand". Let's get to the artist at hand. (See what I did there? Huh? Huh? Plebs.)
Now Jess Glynne was probably my favourite part of "Rather Be", so I was excited to see that she's gaining buzz as a solo artist. I listened to her song and... holy shit, we have a pop star in the making on our hands. I mean, I certainly hope so! There is such talent in this woman's voice, and the music she makes is so fun! I definitely want to see her rise to the top. I want this to become a summer jam! It's got the party vibes and it's got the talent. This, more than any Wednesday song I've reviewed so far this year, is a hit in the making. I can feel it this time. don't let me down, music-buying public, wherever you are, whoever you are. Seriously, does anyone actually buy music anymore? If you're out there, and you hear y plea... buy this song. Make me even more proud of pop music this year. Make this a #1 hit. Don't think I really need to go to the Will She and Should She after that, so I'll just leave you with my plea. This must be a hit. Please. I haven't heard a pop song so... damn perfect in a while. God, I'm... I'm at a loss. This honestly astounds me.
Gordon Lightfoot, everybody! Canadian icon, beloved musician, amazing songwriter... not one of my personal favourites.
There's nothing objectively bad about his music. It just doesn't do much for me. As far as folk rock goes, I much prefer listening to Bob Dylan, also a brilliant songwriter of the time and a more interesting musician to me, or Bruce Cockburn, who I think has a little more charm. That said, this song is pretty good. It's got an energy to it that is present throughout the song that gets me pretty happy. It's nice and bouncy. I like the guitar in the song, and even the vocals, which seem very Dylan-esque. And now what is this happy-sounding song about? It's alright for some, but not alright for me When the one that I'm lovin' slips around Wait a minute... this song is about cheating? Well, you could have fooled me. In fact, you did! Wow. I feel... duped. Cheated, even. This song doesn't sound like it should be about cheating, but it is. Hmm. Maybe I should look back at other Lightfoot songs and se if they're really about what I first theorized. ...Okay, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" is indeed about a ship. It's probably just this song that tripped me up. Oh well. That only means I need to keep my ears wide open and really listen for the lyrics in a song before I make snap judgements! Thanks for teaching me a lesson, Gordon Lightfoot. This was a really useful day.
Today on Flashback Friday, we will be looking at a popular pop rock song from the early 80's. Wait... I missed Flashback Friday? Damn! Okay, let's look at the next best thing: A new song masquerading as just that: "Shut Up and Dance" by WALK THE MOON. Are you supposed to shout that band name?
WALK THE MOON (okay, I'm not referring to them in allcaps anymore, this is just awkward) are an indie rock band formed in 2008. Kind of a dark year for pop music on the rock charts, I'd say. I mean, what did we have... this?
Yeah, whatever. But despite the lack of rock's influence in 2008, Walk the Moon bubbled under the radar, and have finally notched a smash hit with "Shut Up and Dance". And well... what else is there to say except shut up and dance to this awesome song?
Man, somewhere along the line, rock music forgot how to be fun. Even when a band tried to make a feel-good rock song, it always came off as cloying and false. Falseness is just about the worst crime you can commit with music. Just ask Iggy Azalea. But anyway, we come to this song, which is a genuinely fun rock song in 2015. Say it isn't so! Anyway, let's get to my point in the first line: I hear a strong 80's rock influence, and that's part of what makes it great. Because let's face it, the 80's were an overall fun time for music. Stupid, but fun. This song is about dancing with the fiery-hearted girl of the singer's dreams. And it plays it out with such conviction that you can't help but sing along, right down to the sing-along chorus. Honestly, even if this song were about absolutely nothing, I would still admire it for its ability to be relentlessly charming and enjoyable. That's something that pop music should honestly do more often, and 2015 seems to be the year for it! We'll see what happens as the year goes by, but I'm honestly excited all over again. Long live the dance floor!
Well, we seem to be running with the theme of "heaven" this week, aren't we? Well, heaven only knows what kind of mischief we can get into with this! So let's look at an up-and coming artist, Towkio.
Towkio is a hip hop artist that is currently posting on SoundCloud, which is honestly a pretty good way to get noticed for the "Emerging Artists" chart. Whether one of them will ever emerge on the Top 40 is another question entirely, but as is I'm happy to see such a diverse range of artists coming through this medium. So let's look at this one. Towkio works with a lot of different producers to showcase his vocal talents, and it's true that he possesses a lot of it. He has a very laidback style to his work, but also forceful. And everything I've heard from him just kicks all the way through. He seems to be able to pick just the right producers to complement the mood he's trying to convey. Here, the production sort of takes a backseat to his vocal talents, but it still exists in the background. It serves as a calming counteraction to his harsh, spitting vocals and lyrics. Fuck their friends, fuck their car, fuck your brand, fuck your blog Hey, wait a minute. Fuck your blog Well... fuck you too, buddy! God, and I thought I would like you. Despite his blog-hating tendencies, I still think this guy is talented. I hope to hear more from him! Hot 100 Success: Will he have it? Despite his talent (or maybe because of it), I don't think that Towkio has much of a chance of cracking the top 40. He's got that flavour of rapper that just doesn't seem to get as popular as the ones we cherish. Should he have it? Absolutely. A dynamic performer working with dynamic producers? Count me in all the way!
So by this point we've looked at Bryan Adams post-Waking Up the Neighbours and pre-Waking Up the Neighbours. The next step, obviously, would be to review songs from his 2004 album, Room Service. Eh? Eh? No, we're not going to be doing that. Let's look at one of the mammoth hits off of Waking Up the Neighbours, "Thought I'd Died and Gone to Heaven".
Now this was a transitioning point in Adams' career. He was getting cheesier and schmaltzier, but also kept that rock edge alive in his work. This album may have had (Everything I Do) I Do it for You", but it's still not a waste. You can tell that the wheels are starting to turn towards Sellout Lane, but there is still much to enjoy about the album. Is this song something to enjoy? Well... it's not... awful... At the very least, "Thought I'd Died" is a rock ballad with more edge than "Everything I Do", but when you really think about it that's not an accomplishment. So screw the worst song on the album, how does it hold up on its own? Well, I kind of like the way it starts out. It's actually kind of dark and brooding. With most rock ballads, you can tell right from the start that they're just going to be some cheeseball song of unintentional entertainment. This one gives a little more edge than those. I mean, you still know it's going to be a sappy ballad, but you appreciate the extra layer of rock it gives. That said, it still is a ballad, and definitely not as exciting as a lot of Adams' previous songs. I still like it though, honestly. It provides a good mix of slow somberness and hard rock edge. Maybe it doesn't feel like dying and going to heaven, but it's not hell either.
In November 2013, Fast & Furious actor Paul Walker died from a car accident. His death was sudden and unexpected, and still comes as a shock to fans everywhere. His last movie appearance, Furious 7, was recently released and with it comes a soundtrack. Let's look at one of the songs from it, "See You Again".
That's "See You Again" by Wiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Puth. Two artists who I've had less than an adequate taste for, but hey, I could be surprised. Now, if I'm being totally honest here, tribute songs are generally not the most interesting songs. They're usually slow and morose, which is fine, of course. Honestly, when I review a song like this, I don't really count merit on the song itself, but rather what it does as a tribute. And since the song appears in a movie, I can also take it from that angle. So let's see. It's been a long day without you my friend And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again The song actually takes on a hopeful tone, that the living and the dead will one day see each other again. Charlie Puth's take on it actually comes from a stronger place than one might think. He connects the song to a friend of his who also died in a car crash, making him the perfect choice to sing the chorus. As far as paying tribute to Walker goes, Wiz Khalifa stays vague enough that it can be interpreted in multiple ways, but also rings true to the character he plays in the movie, who goes off to start a family at the end. How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got? It really helps to connect the song to Walker and his character. So the song works as both a tribute to Walker and as a song in the movie. Overall, it does its job and I can't discourage either artist to badly. It's a fitting tribute to an iconic actor. RIP Paul Walker.
If you had to ask me, "Hey Eric. What's that one song that you can never decide if you utterly love it or loathsomely hate it?", well, my friends, it would be this one.
God, I ha-lo-ha-lo-ha-love-hate this song! It's catchy, it's fun, it's digestible. It's annoying, it's dumb, it's clumsy. Oh god, where to begin with this one? Well, a little history might help. I already talked about Carly Rae's career briefly in my "I Really Like You" review, but now that we're focusing on her biggest hit, I can go a little more in-depth with the history of that hit specifically. "Call Me Maybe" was originally penned by Jepsen and Tavish Crowe as a folk song, which... would not have been a huge departure from her earlier stuff, but... really? This was written as a folk song? Somehow I believe this works better as the digestible pop hit that it is. Anyway, the brains behind that decision belonged to Marianas Trench lead singer Josh Ramsay, who produced the song as a pop song. It was released in late 2011 off her first international release, Kiss, gained a startling amount of buzz in Canada, and went on to conquer the U.S. charts in the summer of 2012. Why, why, why? Well, whether you like or hate the song, and I've been on both ends of the spectrum, it's not difficult to see why this became a hit. It's catchy, it's got a decently relatable storyline, Carly Rae is just so gosh darn cute for the 26-year-old she is, and it's got a memorable hook that you can sing along to. It's also a decently produced song. I like what they do with the strings in the chorus. They could probably be doing more in the verses, but for what it is it's serviceable. So I've listed all the good points about this song. Now the bad stuff. Starting with, oh, god, these lyrics. Hey, I just met you And this is crazy But here's my number So call me maybe? No, no, no, that's not the bad part. Here's the part that always gets to me. Before you came into my life I missed you so bad GOD DAMN IT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? That doesn't make any sense! How can you miss someone you haven't even met? Where's the logic? What are you talking about? Ugh. A lot of these lyrics seem like they were written on first draft, especially in the chorus. It's hard to look right At you baby I see Carly Rae's gone to Ambiguous Complimenting 101. Man, that class really helps with insomnia. But go on. And all the other boys Try to chase me ...good for you? Where does this fit into the song? What's the point? Are you trying to impress this guy? Even if you are, how does it fit with the tone? Your most famous line in this song sends a cutesy, teenage girl vibe and I guess this sounds just as immature, but it really takes away from the charm. So my main problem with the song is, in fact, the lyrics. But it's also the way she sings them. Maybe it's just that these lyrics shouldn't be put to music, and should instead just be left as the clumsy pickup lines that they are. So, I'm on two sides of the coin with this song. Some days I love it for its catchy production and surprising amount of clout and star power. Other times I hate it for its clumsy lyrics and its awkward presentation of said lyrics. So, final verdict? I... I guess it's okay. I mean, all things considered, no matter how much I hate this song at times, there are always pop songs that are worse. And with all the good things this song has going for it, I honestly can't be inclined to hate on it too badly. At the same time though, it's not perfect, and I can't overlook the flaws I see in this song to call it one of my favourites. I think part of the reason I hated it so much when it came out was the fact that it was everywhere, but now that it's been a few years I can look back and really analyze whether or not the song is truly hateable. Eh... it's fine. "Call Me Maybe": a monstrous summer hit that's just okay. Wonder why they don't use me to promote these things. Also, that video's still funny. That's all.
Marvin Gaye has inspired many an artist with his beautiful, soulful music.
Yes, he's charmed the panties off of many a gal with hits like "Let's Get it On" and "Sexual Healing". So it's only natural that the sex-crazed youth of today are more than willing to involve his name in their music. Enter Charlie Puth, a newcomer who's released his debut single, named after the soul singer.
"Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on." Well... that's a reference, indeed. So, how well does it fit into the song?
Well... the song definitely invokes the slower side of Marvin Gaye, but not really the sexier side. In fact, it's kind of a cute-sounding song, like... I don't know, Sara Bareilles. What I'm saying is, it's not exactly worthy of invoking the Marvin Gaye name, and certainly not worthy of these lyrics:
Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on
You got the healing that I want
Just like they say it in the song
Yes. Like they say it in the song. The much better song. The song that I should honestly be listening to right now! But no, you give me a song using these lyrics with a beat as limp as... well, the sexual innuendo I'm about to make. Actually, a non-sexual innuendo, because there's nothing sexy about this song.
You can't just take a classic artist's name and expect to gain credibility from it. MKTO did that and all they managed to do was piss me off! This song isn't as bad as that one, since it's clearly more focused - I mean, the lyrical content invokes sex. It's just that nothing else about the song does.
I just don't believe the sexual prowess that either Charlie Puth or Meghan Trainor claim to have. It's like a One Direction member and Selena Gomez singing this song. It just doesn't work.
So this song doesn't do a thing for me. The video's fine, I guess - I like that they have gay couples in there. But the song is just bland. If I didn't understand English, there's no way I could tell you that this song was about sex. And that's a big problem! The mood of the song should invoke the idea, not just the lyrical content! Unfortunately, that's all that's happening here, and it doesn't give me much hope for Charlie Puth's credibility as a sex god or as an artist with any semblance of personality. Sorry, just... you can't throw Marvin Gaye's name around like that. Don't touch him unless you know what you're doing with him. That's all.
Hot 100 Success:
Will he have it?
I think the year 2015 is shaping up to be too interesting to allow someone like Charlie Puth in there. Meghan Trainor isn't exactly a saving grace, so I don't see much hope for the kid, honestly.
Should he have it?
The kid's a passable singer, but he just doesn't have the personality to back up his voice. Maybe with a little time in the spotlight he can develop something, but based on this? He needs to refine his star quality before he steps into the big leagues. Sorry, Charlie Puth, but I'm Nickelbacking and turning this off. Can that be a phrase people use? Please say yes.
Well, the Canadian charts are in a lull again. I mean, really: how hard is it for the Canadian chart to have a new Canadian hit on it? We're not short in talent! I thought two weeks ago proved that! Oh well... here's Bruce Cockburn. Stop snickering, it's pronounced "Ko-Burn".
Bruce Cockburn's career has spanned almost half a century, going from folk to synth to pop. Up there's one of his more folksy songs, "Wondering Where the Lions Are". It's a decent song. Kind of reminds me of a low-key Tom Petty, even his voice. Low-key Tom Petty is nothing to be ashamed of sounding like, either. So I've okayed the musical component; let's get to the lyrical content. What does "Wondering Where the Lions Are" mean? Wouldn't you hope that the lions are in Africa, so that they don't burst into your house and eat your family? Well, as far as I can tell, the "lions" are just a symbol for something that could go wrong. And it's a very apt symbol, as lions can be rough and dangerous. Cockburn paints pretty pictures of the ecstasy he's feeling, but he always comes back to the lions. A state of uneasiness and uncertainty, despite bliss. So overall, "Wondering Where the Lions Are" is a pretty great song. I enjoyed listening to it and analyzing it, and I'm proud to call Bruce Cockburn a Canadian,
All right, so we've got a newcomer this time around who got big. This is Natalie La Rose with her debut single, "Somebody". Now, before we get started, listen to this chorus for a second and tell me if it reminds you of anything: I wanna rock with somebody I wanna take shots with somebody That's right: it's a direct rip-off of Bryan Adams' "Somebody"! Boy, listen to that chorus and just how derivative it is. I can't believe they would rip off a living legend like Bryan Adams... what? The joke's run its course? Okay, this is a rip-off of Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody".
Well, maybe "rip-off" is a little harsh, but still, this is a pretty unimaginative chorus, isn't it? It's kinda dull too in the way it's presented. When Whitney Houston wanted to dance with somebody, man, she meant it. She would force herself onto the dance floor with somebody who loves her! But this? This just sounds like a guy passively making a request. Which probably should be the norm when it comes to clubbing, but it doesn't make for a very good song. Also, Whitney Houston isn't the only thing this chorus rips off. And we ain't gotta tell nobody, we ain't gotta tell nobody (nobody)
Okay, what is up withJeremih and not wanting to disclose his sexual activities? Usually musicians can't shut up about how much they're gettin'. This guy really just wants to keep it on the down low. I mean... good for him, I guess, but you know you're the guy who made "Birthday Sex", right? I don't think you need to hide your sexual prowess, such as it is. Oh yeah, we haven't even actually gotten to Natalie La Rose yet. But if Jeremih is eclipsing my review of your song, I'd say you've already got some problems. To be fair though, this is probably the "best" Jeremih performance I've heard, in that if I squint my ears I can make him sound like Chris Brown on an off day. But I digress. Let's get to the main artist on this track, Natalie La Rose. Walk in, everybody know what's good Stop. Stop. I don't even know who you are. You can't make me believe that everybody likes you. For all I know, you could be a serial killer masquerading as a pop singer! (By the way, I'm still watching you, Justin Timberlake. "Mickey Mouse Club" my ass.) But some gonna hate, what's new? Well, wait a second. Walk in, everybody know what's good Yeah, yeah. So if everybody knows what's good... why will some hate? Just... haters gonna hate, I guess? Wow, this song really is unoriginal. Throughout the song, Natalie does nothing to convince me that she deserves a hit single. She's got a decent voice, but the beat and the lyrics do nothing for her. And then... oh god, she starts rapping. In the club like what We be in the party in the club like what ...where did this come from? Why... why are you doing that? What? Why? You're not very good at it... stop it! You're hurting me! I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADUUULT! Hey, I can be unoriginal too. Which is exactly what this song is. Unoriginal, bland, and worthless. No reason to listen to it, especially when motherfuckin' UPTOWN FUNK is still #1!
(Disclaimer: despite anything I said in my review, "Uptown Funk" is amazing.)
I feel like I keep on reiterating this, but teen stars have always existed. And for good reason! Teenagers need someone closer to their age that they can look up to and emulate. So I guess what I'm saying in that regard is, the less Justin Biebers we get, the better. But you know, if you want your kids to grow up bland and boring, you can have them emulate Debbie Gibson.
Now to be fair, Debbie Gibson is talented. She's quite the artist. It's just that she's also quite the boring artist. I'm sorry, but I just can't invest myself in this performance. It's so... dull. You know, at least with Celine Dion, she's boring, but in a strangely histrionic sort of way. She hits you right in the face with her boring music. This, on the other hand... just falls completely flat for me. It's boring in the worst way: the way in which I have absolutely nothing to say about it. Well, not absolutely nothing. This video's pretty hilarious, what with the dreamboat dude in black-and-white, but his eyes are colorized because she's lost in his eyes specifically... yeah, that's pretty funny. Got a chuckle out of that. Now, back to the song! I get lost in your eyes And I feel my spirits rise zzzzzzz Look, sometimes the Billboard charts just don't work in my favour. I really don't have anything to say bout this. It's not a very good song. It's not even a very passionate song. It just sits there, like a rock on the sidewalk that one would normally kick aside. This is the type of song I would kick aside. sorry, Debbie Gibson. "Lost in your Eyes" just loses me.
You know, I've kind of had a thing for rock bands with a female lead. Every one I've heard I think I've liked. Yes, even Evanescence, you purists. Anyway, today we get one more of those with PVRIS, pronounced "Paris" in case you were wondering. Here's their third single from their debut full-length album, "White Noise".
Huh. Well... this isn't that great. Man, I was really excited to cover one of these artists, but... this really fell flat for me, for the most part. It starts out nice, kind of has this Metric vibe to it. I really like the singer's voice, too. But then the chorus kicks in... I'M WATCHIIIIIING I'M WAITIIIIIING ..and ugh, it just hits you in the face full force with blasts of music and it's really unpleasant. There's no buildup to it, it just goes quiet and then boom. Right in the face. And the worst part is, the blast of full-force music at the chorus sounds so... generic. I could have expected this from any no-name alt rock band with a female lead, and I was really digging the song up until that point. There is also a nice moment at the end where the music is just slowly playing out, and if it had just ended there the song might have been salvageable. But no, it just went right into the chorus again, just like... well, any pop song. Good thing you followed the structure guys, or I might have mistakenly dubbed you "edgy". There's good parts in this song, but there have been far more interesting female-fronted rock bands in music history. There's really no need for a band willing to take little risk with their sound like this. Hot 100 Success: Will they have it? This sort of sound isn't the type that gets popular on Billboard at all, despite the attempts to make it fit in with the mold. I don't foresee a bright Billboard future for them, no. Should they have it? I'd give it to many other bands sooner than I would this one. There's a lack of rock on the charts these days, true, but I'm not really willing to save a spot for these guys. Sorry. At the end of the day, it is just white noise.
