Wumbo's Bottom 10 Hits of 1978

1978! Disco reigns supreme... for better or for worse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_sY2rjxq6M

Now I will go on record as saying I like the 70s, a lot. But there could be an argument made that it was all... a little much at times. And sometimes not enough. We'll go into what all that means once we take a trip to the worst hits of 1978!

---

Lot of easy rock this decade... some a bit too easy.

10. "My Angel Baby" - Toby Beau

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBdDbXoKKjk

There's only so much of this I can take, and "My Angel Baby" crosses past the line for me. It's not like this is the worst song ever or anything, but it really doesn't need to exist. A plethora of songs like this exist that tug at the heartstrings more. And I can't get over how non-essential this song is to the conversation. Sorry.

---

Wings were not a good band.

9. "With a Little Luck" - Wings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNWFhmNcNUc

1978 was just around the time the world should have started getting majorly sick of Paul McCartney's bullshit coasting off of being a member of the biggest band of all time. Because his own band was really not living up to the hype. I mean, just listen to this. It sounds like a primitive cheesy 80s track, with all those misplaced, misshapen synths. For such an uplifting and well-intentioned song, it sure sounds ugly and uninspired. And The Beatles were really that good, I stand by that. So what happened? I'd argue running out of ideas and forgetting what made The Beatles any good. And maybe Wings just weren't as good musicians, yet just as self-indulgent. Love ya Paul, but my patience has worn thin.

---

I mean, she's the daughter of Pat Boone. What can you really expect?

8. "You Light Up My Life" - Debby Boone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmyy-Gmyupc

Yep. Just as squeaky-clean and sterile as you should expect. But what kills me about this song is how earnest it is. It's enough to make you feel bad for the girl, who likely never knew anything outside of Pat Boone's strict Christian upbringing. She's trying to be Barbra Streisand here. but can't quite pull it off. It's really kind of pathetic just how... pathetic she sounds. This song definitely does not light up my life.

---

You know, I have to have some level of gratitude to Ray Parker Jr. for making the Ghostbusters theme, which remains an all-time classic. But does that mean I have to like everything he did?

7. "Jack and Jill" - Raydio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha1j2Gqj_xg

Raydio just does nothing for me, much like radio does nothing for anyone else these days. Ha-ha. Anyway, this is quite the simplistic song that tries to modernize Jack and Jill into some beleaguered love story. I really don't think we needed a song like this. If you're going to be silly, go all out, like the Ghostbusters theme! But this? It's just not something I can see anyone getting excited to listen to. Look, it's Jack and Jill. Only they're maybe-lovers now. This is interesting, for some reason. And I presume Little Jack Horner is a recluse, sitting in the corner? Miss Muffet is now lactose-intolerant? Any other ideas? Hopefully not.

---

I don't think The Rolling Stones were even that old by this point, but this is a "fellow kids" move if I've ever seen one.

6. "Miss You" - The Rolling Stones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuRxXRuAz-I

Rolling Stones and disco do not go together. This shouldn't even be something that needs to be said, but apparently someone needed to stop this before it happened. The Rolling Stones are a rock band, and while I support genre mixing, disco is not a tool in their wheelhouse, particularly with Mick Jagger's ugly, yelpy voice. Not that the rest of the song works either. These harmonies are fucking terrible, and the instrumentation is all over the place and doesn't match up with the disco beat. If you wanted to make a hard rock song, do that. If you, for some reason, wanted to make a disco song, do that! But don't try both at the same time. Otherwise, you get this, a song I don't think anyone is missing.

---

5. "You're in My Heart (The Final Acclaim)" - Rod Stewart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1qxJPzjObI

Is it fair to say that Rod Stewart is an... acquired taste? In any case, one that I certainly have not acquired yet. His croaking voice never resonated with me, like he was always trying too hard to sound soulful. And on a song like this, it's all you can focus on. Because I'm certainly not going to do anything with this production. Or his description of a "big bosomed lady"... yeah, if I don't like his voice, I really don't want to think about him having sex ever. That leads to a whole new set of nightmares. No thank you.

---

The problems started before "We Built This City".

4. "Count on Me" - Jefferson Starship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOMuK7YYxeg

Jesus, I'm sorry. This sounds like the worst kind of 70s cheese. Over-produced, and almost daring to step into the 80s version of cheese. But at least that kind of corniness is usually fun. This is just annoying, and it's disappointing to hear this from the original band that gave us "White Rabbit" and "Somebody to Love". Change can be good, but not when it turns a band from that to this. And I'm not fan of "We Built This City" either, but I'll stand up for that song before I stand up for this white-bread garbage. Count on that.

---

3. "Sometimes When We Touch" - Dan Hill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVf940pO5ME

You ever just... see the title of a song, think it sounds like the title of a soap opera, and know that you're not gonna be in for a good time? Yeah, this song lives up to its title's reputation. I'm sorry, I know there's a market for this kind of stuff. But I just can't do it. Not with this man's scratchy, weaksauce voice where the music never builds up to anything. Oh, it tricks you into thinking it's going somewhere. Trust me, it's not. And if you go by my soap opera rule, trust me, you'll find yourself a lot less disappointed when coming across songs like these. Nope, no surprises h-

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees

Whoa, whoa! Dude! What's your damage?

Other than that baffling, threatening couplet which he oddly puts more passion into than anything else in the song, as I said, nothing worth seeking out here.

---

I know we're dealing with a global crisis right now. Justin Bieber's latest album. I get it, we all need ample time to heal from it. Remember when he was just a squeaky-clean, aggressively chipper little twerp? Yeah, they definitely weren't short of those in the 70s.

2. "Hey Deanie" - Shaun Cassidy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAuSM-uYWiU

I don't really care as I don't keep up with the career of Shaun Cassidy, but what the hell is this video? The Wonder Years? No, that was a decade later. The Partridge Family? No, that was the other Cassidy brother. Oh yeah, I don't care. Moving on!

This song is pretty much the antithesis to needing a rock n' roll guitar to sound like a real musician. Boy, it's trying to be rock n' roll! As gut-twistingly as it can. But you can't dress up a pig to make it look like a stallion, and it brings me no joy to say that, yes, Shaun Cassidy still gives off major poser vibes here. The biggest crime is that it's not a very interesting song. It works out to, at best, a mediocre rock song, and I can't see why throngs of girls would come screaming for that. I may not be a fan of teen idol singers, but at least play the part if you've got nothing better to offer! And trust me, he doesn't. But you know who should have this year?

---

You're one of the most acclaimed guitarists of all time. What is this shit.

1. "Lay Down Sally" - Eric Clapton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hQqP6RNnDE

Most of these artists on this list, I didn't really have any expectations for. Hell, I don't even like Eric Clapton all that much. But I sure as hell expect a better song from him than doodling around on his guitar for this mid-tempo, barely-melodic, boring song. It's not even that the guitar work is bad, it just doesn't sound impressive at all. This feels like a demo version, and after hearing this time and time again on classic rock stations, I've just given up figuring out what people see in it. Me, I'm changing the station. Possibly to one playing better hits from this year, which we'll get to soon!

Manic by Halsey - ALBUM REVIEW

Halsey is an artist who throws herself into all her projects, for good and for bad. While I haven't enjoyed everything she's put out in her career span, I can respect the sort of gung-ho, raw attitude that she displays in her music, and I definitely get why it resonates. Manic, to me, feels like the best realization of her goals as an artist to date.

Halsey has always been able to hop genres, but this album boasts an impressive mixing of different musical styles that feel apropos to the topics she sings about. It goes from the melancholy to the fiery, and also boasts an eclectic array of guest stars to boot! I truly did not expect to hear Alanis Morissette on this album, but it was certainly welcome all the same. Halsey has her strongest songwriting and melodies to date on this album, songs that should have totally been hits, but for some reason weren't. Oddly her most pop friendly song, "Graveyard", got snubbed, which baffles me. Well, I'm here to give the album the credit it deserves. Manic is Halsey's best work to date and actually leaves me excited for more. Killer album!

9/10

Best Tracks: "Ashley", "Graveyard", "You should be sad", "3am", "killing boys", "Still Learning"

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: May 2, 2020

Another week with not much going on. Even DaBaby's album bomb didn't do much to the Top 10, other than push "everything i wanted" out and "Life is Good" farther down. We should see a bit more action next week because:

Predictions:

"THE SCOTTS" is coming. This isn't even a prediction. It's coming. Prepare for a new, if temporary #1.

Beyond that, those tiktok songs from last week are still gaining ground pretty steadily. Might see at least "Roses" in the Top 20 next week. I don't foresee much more change but we'll at least have some.

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: April 25, 2020

Well, that was a pleasant surprise.

I seriously thought Drake's stupid "Toosie Slide" song was going to have a lock on the #1 spot for some time, and yet hoped against hope that "Blinding Lights" would usurp it. Looks like my hopes came true over my fears. Would be nice if that translated to the real-world situation we're in right now, but I'll take small victories where I can get them.

Beyond that, not much activity in this Top 10 beyond "Say So" and "Life is Good" switching places, as one surges while the other fades out. No new entries to the Top 10 as "Intentions" and "everything i wanted" hold steady, but that may change in the coming weeks.

Predictions:

There's a few songs gaining traction thanks to Tiktok that I think could swell enough to reach the Top 20, if not the Top 10. Particularly "Roses" and "death bed". I've also been assuming "Blueberry Faygo" would hit the Top 10 sooner rather than later, and momentum doesn't appear to be slowing down there. Beyond the obvious fallouts, I think "The Box" hit its peak a while back and should be out soon.

Rap or Go to the League by 2 Chainz - ALBUM REVIEW

2 CHAAAAAINZ

I love this man. He really does his own thing when it comes to rap music, which is to say whatever the fuck he wants. He was near-inescapable in the first half of the 2010s, and for good reason! He may not have had the most cognitive of lyrics, but his personality was more than enough to make up for it. This dude is a star.

So what to make of his most recent project, Rap or Go to the League? Well, it's an interesting entry in his catalogue for sure. In fact, it may be the antithesis to everything I said in that first paragraph. Because while this may be his most coherent project to date... it just doesn't have the flair that his previous projects do.

Part of it may be due to the fact that the man is now over 40 and may be getting too old for his previous shtick. With age comes maturity for most people. and by no means is this a bad album. Like I said, technically it might be his best. It helps that the album features a wealth of guest stars to make up for the lack of personality 2 Chainz is exuding on here. It's hard to be disappointed by this album with all it offers. 2 Chainz offers some of his most thought-provoking songs to date. But I can't help but be a little underwhelmed all the same. It's good, but I can't see myself revisiting it anytime soon.

7/10

Best Tracks: "Threat 2 Society", "NCAA", "Rule the World" (ft. Ariana Grande), "Sam"

Human Clay by Creed - ALBUM REVIEW

You know, it may seem like I pick my album reviews at random. But that's not true! I do it based off of what I'm listening to on Spotify, and then a group of my friends votes on which albums I cover. And I was all set to review another album that they voted on. But for some reason, this one instead stuck in my brain. So I need to get it out before it causes brain damage.



I have... so many questions. Objectively the Weathered album cover is funnier, but none of Creed's albums have the one-two punch of hilarious cover and hilarious name quite like Human Clay. But here's the question I presume you're all wondering: Is Creed actually any good?

Well... maybe? But this album certainly isn't.

Look, I tried. I went into it "with arms wide open", as you will. But the album starts out passable and then just goes downhill for good and never recovers. And I'll say this: I don't think Creed are a bad band! Really, I don't! Certainly the band itself is not bad if you're into that sort of thing, what with the grungy, sludgy tones. It works for what it's going for, particularly on their first album, My Own Prison. But if there's an Achilles' heel to this group, it comes in their big, burly frontman, Scott Stapp, who sounds overwrought and pained on his best days. But, again, there's a place for that kind of singing. I just don't think Scott has enough control over his voice and enough sense to know how to sing things in a way that makes you understand what he's singing about, particularly on this album.

See, Scott's voice sounds ugly. But there can still be an art to ugly. Scott's mindless warbling definitely qualifies it as artless, though. It feels like no thought was put into these songs after, like, the second track. It all just blends together in a mindless mush. There are vague lyrics about finding your calling and working together and others in that joyous nature, but none of it comes through because the songs sound so ugly and misshapen. Either go for the dark, grungy stuff in both lyrics and tone, or find a way to match your brighter, optimistic lyrics without abandoning your tone. This "middle-ground" shit just doesn't work, and feels really cheap and rushed.

4/10

Best Tracks: None of these are particularly amazing, but "Are You Ready?" at least sets up something that might be good if you give it a chance, though the disappointment that follows might hurt it as well.

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: April 18, 2020

God damn it, Drake.

Well, not much activity on the Top 10 this week, other than the obvious. How do we, as a society, allow this to keep happening? It really doesn't have to be this way. But... *sigh* time to try predicting our way out of this, I guess.

Predictions:

Unfortunately, "Toosie Slide" may hold that #1 for the foreseeable future. But what could be coming to replace fading Top 10 mainstays? My money's on Megan Thee Stallion's "Savage", which would certainly be a welcome presence as her first Top 10 hit.

Billboard Top 20 Review - March 14, 2020

Hey guys! I partnered with a friend to bring you a combined Top 20 ranking. Check this out:

http://mediamanbobeh.blogspot.com/2020/04/billboard-chart-rankings-spring-2020.html?m=1

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: April 11, 2020

A pretty mellow week on the Hot 100 as album bombs fade and we get back to a perceived "normal" for the charts. What's interesting is that "Blinding Lights" continues to hold the #1 spot, in light of Dua Lipa's muted album impact and the song's radio dominance. We also see a few returns to the Top 10, in Billie Eilish's "everything i wanted" and... *sigh* Lewis Capaldi's "Someone You Loved". That new Drake song is gunning for a #1 position next week, so we'll see what happens with that. On that note...

Predictions: 

"Blueberry Faygo" is doing some decent numbers on streaming and could break into the Top 10 sooner rather than later. Really, I'm just looking for something to knock out "Someone You Loved" for good. Also, maybe we could get one more week of "Blinding Lights"? Would be nice to see something stop Drake from claiming #1 for once.

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - ALBUM REVIEW

I decided to kick back with one of my favourite artists tonight, and what better way to start than with his debut album? Tom Petty is one of those artists who I could listen to anyplace, anytime. His music has such a timeless quality to it, capturing every emotion it goes for. Listening to this album is like being out in a country field, soaking in the breeze. It's so jaunty and jovial, but also has its moments of downbeat despair, where Tom Petty really shines in his delivery, like in "Breakdown" and "Fooled Again". A near-perfect album that is really refreshing to go back to in these times. Hard to believe Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers get even better as they move on and refine their sound, but this is a hell of a starting point all the same.

9/10

Best Tracks: "Breakdown", "The Wild One, Forever", "Anything That's Rock 'n' Roll", "Strangered in the Night", "Fooled Again (I Don't Like It)", "American Girl"

Top Tensday - Billboard Hot 100 Review: April 4, 2020

A-ha. Now there's a catchy title. Sort of. Whatever, you get what you get. In other news, BLINDING LIGHTS #1 WOOOOO

This came as no surprise to me as The Weeknd's album bomb impacted the charts significantly. What surprised me a bit was "Heartless"'s recovery to #4, but again, some level of recovery was expected given the album bomb. Most of the Top 10 remains relatively stable, with the exception of the new entry, "Say So" by Doja Cat with Dr. Puke on production. I'll have more to say about this once a new project is unveiled (stay tuned), but here it is now, pushing out "Someone You Loved" from the Top 10. Maybe once "Heartless" falls out it'll rebound yet again, who knows? Speaking of predictions...

Predictions:

Will "Don't Start Now" vie for that #1 spot with Dua Lipa's album impact coming? I'd say it's at least within the realm of possibility, especially as The Weeknd's album bomb fades out. These past few weeks seem to have been a cavalcade of album bombs, with very little standalone singles being released. I expect "Say So" to stick around in the Top 10 for a while, so get used to that. I'm hoping "everything i wanted" can rebound, but we'll have to see.