Hey, given how hard it is to listen to some current songs, I'll take it. So that's "Top of the World" by The Carpenters, a huge band in the 70's known for their talented singer, Karen Carpenter. She shows how much of handle she has on singing with this song, going from deeper notes in the verses to higher notes in the chorus. This is a lady that knows her range. And it's a nice song, overall. Could be a little more exciting, so I could have more to say about it, but then again, this isn't exactly my preferred genre of music. So for what it is, it's just fine. Which is more than I can say for the next song on Sunday's chopping block:
Granted, this isn't the worst thing I've heard from hip hop this year, not by a long shot. It's got a really nice beat that I'm digging. But it was remixed by Drake, so I can't vouch for Makonnen's credibility in that regard. And as for his vocal performance... meh. I guess there are bigger crimes a rap or R&B song can commit than just being flat boring... but that's what this song is to me: just completely boring. Other than the beat, there's nothing in this song that I vastly remember. So let's look back at the lyrics. Club going up on a Tuesday Got yo girl in the cut and she choosy This line is repeated three times. I hate hooks like this. They don't evolve into anything; they're just the same thing repeated over again until you get to the verse. That's a waste of time. If you can't think of something to have on the hook, then don't have one! It would actually be really refreshing to hear a rap song without a hook. But this song isn't refreshing. Not the worst thing I've heard this year, but certainly something I'm not exactly pining to hear again. Hot 100 Success: Will he have it? I don't know if Drake's enough to carry this song. Maybe it'll scratch the Top 50, but I can't see it going much farther than that. Should he have it? Ehh... I don't think so. Again, not the worst I've heard, but just really boring.
And I'm not sure exactly how to take the fact that this single is called "You and Me". Isn't that like Bad Company calling a song of theirs "Bad Company"? Pfft. Wouldn't happen. Okay, so how's the song? Well... it's okay, I guess, but a little boring and I do like "Break the Cycle" a hell of a lot better. It feels like both P!nk and Dallas Green were taking more risks with their vocals there, whereas here they just seem to play it mellow throughout, which does work sometimes with the guitar, but it's just not as interesting. Incidentally, "Break the Cycle" has a more interesting narrative as well. It appears to show problems that the two are having, and while they're not detailed, they're at least addressed. "You and Me" is just kind of a "we-can-get-through-anything-together!" attitude without actually getting through anything. It's not a bad song, by any means of the word. P!nk and Dallas are great on vocals as usual, and I do like the guitar. But "Break the Cycle" was just the more interesting song I've heard from these two, and I wish this one met that level. I do hope to see more songs by You+Me on the charts, so I can get a composite picture of how Dallas and P!nk work together. For now, they're a pretty decent pairing. Only time will tell...
Hey yo, what's cooler than being cool? That's right, being a cool kid! Sorry, Outkast fans.
Here's Echosmith, a new addition to the pop scene this year with their song, "Cool Kids". But maybe being a cool kid isn't all it's cracked up to be! ...no, no, wait. It is. I wish that I could be like the cool kids 'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in Wow, being a cool kid sounds great! This song probably won't challenge my thinking, will it? Okay, the song's story is told from the third-person perspective of two kids that aren't cool. And they wish that they were cool, so they didn't have to deal with their problems. And... that's it. No deeper message or anything like that. Just... "I'm not cool, and I wish I was." That's pretty much the chorus as a whole. There's no detail in this song, which ruins it from being a personal story. Each "uncool" kid only gets four lines in their verse, and even those lines mostly focus on the cool kids anyway. Well, we don't want to hear about the cool kids! We want to hear about conflict! That's what makes a story interesting! And sadly, that's what this song is not. It's not a story, and it's not interesting. I don't even think it's trying to make a very strong point about anything. I guess there's a message in the intro, where some nervous girl is getting interviewed on what it means to be cool, and she says, "Cool, to me, is... kind of being unique and being... someone who you want to be, and like, how you... see yourself, I guess." So we could argue that the two protagonists in this song have low self-esteem, and that is the underlying issue that we should care about. Which would be true... if I did care. As far as characters go, these are bland central. Hey, here's an idea! Maybe the reason you're not cool is because you have no personality! She sees them walking in a straight line, that's not really her style So, you like to... zigzag when you walk, then? Well, that's gotta be annoying for anyone walking behind you. Maybe you're not cool because you can't follow basic social etiquette! Ever think of that one, Missy? Okay, I'm getting a little too angry at this song. Sure, the lyrics are disposable, but it does have a lot of indie rock tropes that I've come to enjoy, in spite of myself. You hear the jingle of the chimes, the echo on the guitar (their name is Echosmith...), and you can't hate the song totally if you've grown accustomed to that stuff. But damn it, indie songs still have to try. This is pandering bullshit at its very worst. It tries to grab preteen and teenage minds by saying the very rudimentary elements of what they're thinking, without expanding on it at all or trying to make any sort of solid point. Lazy, lazy writing. What do you think their next song's going to be about? I didn't get a good grade on my math test And now I'm really sad Really sad, really bad Actually, I think that topic expands more than this one. So, Echosmith: You've got the classic elements of indie rock down, but try harder with your lyrics before I can give you a free pass. This is not cool.
Is KC & the Sunshine Band the way, uh huh, uh huh, you like it? Well, how about when they strip it down a little? Let's take a look at the very first number one hit of the 1980's, "Please Don't Go".
Eh... it's okay. Suffice it to say, I prefer KC & the Sunshine Band when they sound more like a ray of sunshine. I mean, who doesn't like "That's the Way I Like It" or "Get Down Tonight"? Aliens, that's who. If you ever meet a person who doesn't like either of these songs, they're an alien and you should be very afraid. But this song? Well... it's just not as good. It's definitely not a bad song; it's got its share of charm. But there's so much more funkiness this band can delve into. This is just a small example of that funkiness, and somehow it's underwhelming. If you like this song, then I understand why. But for KC & The Sunshine Band, it's just not up to par for me. I'd rather do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight. That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it!
Ahem... THIS IS THE COUNTRY SONG THAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW!
Oh. My. God. This is such a necessary song in our world of music today that I'm surprised it wasn't made sooner. I'm not even speaking as a girl here, I'm speaking as a guy sick of the same old bullshit that every single country song is about now. Now we just need a few more songs criticizing the state of country these days. Maybe "Truck in a Country Song", or "Beer in a Country Song"? One can dream, can't they? Buuut I suppose this song can make the most use of the material they're provided. For example, did you guys know that there is literally a country song called "Get Me Some of That"?
Yep, that one was special enough to be referenced in this song by title. Tell me one more time, "you gotta get you some of that" Sure I'll slide on over, but you’re gonna get slapped Oh my God, please slap every single douchey country artist today. It would be so satisfying. And that's what this song is: Satisfying. Hell, it would be satisfying if it was about apple pie. That's how bad country music has gotten: singing a song about dessert would probably be a better alternative to what we usually get. But this song isn't about that. Rather, it's about the same things that all country songs are about... only in a totally different way. It's told from the perspective of the girl with the long tanned legs in the Daisy Dukes and bikini top... wait, wasn't this also a Katy Perry song? Whatever. This is the first song I've heard to finally call out all the bullshit of bro-country in such a direct manner. And admittedly, this might be a little hard to listen to if it wasn't so much fun to listen to. This song jams, actually a lot more so than most bro-country songs, so there's really no case you can make against it. Yeah, baby! I'd like to call out more specific lyrics that I enjoy, but I'd rather you just listen to the song and watch the video yourself and see this masterpiece firsthand. I'll just skip right to the big questions: Hot 100 Success: Will they have it? Sadly, I don't think mainstream America is as sick of country music as I am. I don't know how well this will fare on the charts, but hopefully the jaded ladies of country can team up and get this one to top them. Should they have it? Hell yes. This song should be the country smash hit of 2014. But only time will tell as to when that actually happens. Hopefully soon! I'm rooting for ya, Maddie & Tae.
Okay, nope, nope. I need another moment. Try again later. Okay... now I'm ready... sort of. Welcome to CanTunes Tuesday, everybody! *sigh* Here's Nickelback again.
What is it about Nickelback that sends such a chill up my spine whenever I have to review them? Are they really the worst band ever? Or am I buying into the rabid anti-hype a little too much? Well, let's take a look at the band, shall we? The band is fronted by Chad Kroeger... yeah, there's your first problem anyway.
Chad Kroeger's that guy who just wants you to LOOGADIS PHOTOGRAPH, because ERRETIMEYDOES IT MAKESIM LAFF... and that's definitely where Nickelback's problems begin. They've just got this marble-mouthed, gravelly, unpleasant singer to front them, and it's hard to look past that to see the rest of the band. But I'm going to try anyway. Let's listen to a Nickelback instrumental.
Well, I guess they're not the worst. But they're certainly not the best, either. So, just an okay band fronted by Chad Kroeger? Yeah, that's Nickelback's problem. And "Someday" is just one of the few songs that highlights this problem.
I mean, it doesn't give you time to warm up and prepare for another Nickelback song. Right away, you hear Kroeger's voice and it sours your opinion on the rest of the song. Not that it's much good to begin with, but it doesn't even give you a chance to warm up to it. So, here's what Chad Kroeger's wondering:
How the hell'd we wind up like this?
Well, I'm sure she just wanted to see other people, Chad.
Yes, this is a lamenting song about a troubled relationship. But it's okay, because Kroeger will work and fight to make this relationship last, won't he?
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it all right but not right now He will, but... he just won't do it right now... come on man, I'm trying to be your PR here! Yeah, the lyrics sound about as lazy as the band. If Chad can't bother to make an effort "right now", then when? I know you're wondering when My God, this is literally just a song about a lazy douchebag! I don't even need to write any jokes here; the song clearly speaks for itself. But another thing to note about Kroger's voice is that I never believe him when he sings. And that's because I'm not sure what emotion his voice is feeling when it sings. Is he heartbroken? Angry? Apathetic? A gravelly combination of the three? That's a big problem! If you're going to take center stage, you need to make it clear what emotion your song is supposed to convey! I don't even know what else to say. Does Nickelback deserve the threshold of hate they get? Well, maybe it's a little overblown, but I can definitely see why people got sick of Nickelback quickly. Not only were they bad back in the day, they were one of the biggest rock bands in the world. And that is a truly scary thought. Almost as scary as... Chavril.
There was a time when Ed Sheeran came onto the scene as a meek, acoustic-guitar-playing schlub who sang songs about crumbling pastries and Lego houses. But those days are officially gone.
Ed Sheeran is now a pop artist. While I thought that his sudden transition into pop music with "Sing" was sudden, and I wasn't sure how much I bought it, I feel like this should have been the lead single. It seems like it would be a much smoother transition. It still contains a lot of Ed Sheeran-like soul, but also a lot of pop elements. It's like a mix between his older stuff and "Sing". Okay, so what's this song about? Don't fuck with my love Um... it's about a more aggressive Ed Sheeran, apparently. No more being stuck in someone's daydreams anymore, now it's just straight up "Don't fuck with my love". Isn't this a little like seeing Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son spouting this line?
It just doesn't seem right. But Ed Sheeran makes up for it with a lot of charm in his music. I love that little "Ah la-la-la-la" throughout the chorus. Anyway, it looks like this new side of Ed Sheeran is the norm, so I'm just going to have to get used to it. And you know what? This song helps. It really does. I can believe Ed Sheeran as Justin Timberlake now after listening to this. So it took two songs, but you've convinced me, Ed. Well done. Now don't... fuck with my opinion again, okay?
Well, they sure know how to write funky jams, I'll give 'em that. But this is the only song of theirs that ever became a Billboard hit, peaking at #5 on the charts in 1987. Did these guys just not have another funky hit in them? What happened?
Well, they were still making it big on the R&B charts after their hit. Hell, they even made it big there before their biggest hit, with "(Pop, Pop, Pop, Pop) Goes My Mind" (that's an awkward title to type) going to #1 on the R&B charts in 1986, a year before "Casanova". So undoubtedly, they still had a huge following in the world of R&B after their biggest hit. So what caused them to jump out of the general mainstream eye? Why didn't they notch any more Billboard hits?
I think the problem was they were ahead of their time. This was a few years before Boyz II Men stepped onto the music scene, and these guys were making music just like the Boyz after "Casanova", such as "My Forever Love". Great for R&B at the time (certainly better than what we have now), but not so great for the Hot 100 at the time. People weren't ready for Boyz II Men. But anyway, "Casanova" is also their best song. It's got a groovy beat to go with the singers' melodious voices, and it just pumps that funky beat all the way through. You'll find me bobbing my head to this more so than any of their other songs. So if one of their songs had to be popular, I'm glad it's this one. No Casanova, but good for a little jam or two.
Say, you know what genre we need more of on the charts these days? Indie rock.
I don't remember an indie rock song making it big on the charts since Imagine Dragons' "Demons", and for God's sake, that was almost a year ago. So if we could get another song to make it big on the charts... could we make it this awesome song?
Remember back in the day, when songs said more than "that girl has an attractive derriere", "I like beer and trucks", and... whatever the hell this is? Well, maybe Irish musician Hozier can be the one to take us back to those times when people wrote songs when they actually had something to write about! "Take Me to Church" compares finding love to finding religion, and deals with the backlashes of each. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife ...of course, it could also just be a kink I don't know about. The song sets this despondent atmosphere about it, which is amplified by the video, giving the song another interpretation, maybe one more targeted towards religion. The video shows a same-sex couple and details the struggles that this couple and many others face, through bigotry and persecution. In this way, you can take the "church" part of the song with a much more cynical view towards religion. It's not a perfect, line-for-line comparison, but you can definitely see the different connotations parts of this song can have when coupled with the video. The subtle religious allusions continue throughout the song, as well as the sex allusions mixed right in. What you got in the stable? We've a lot of starving faithful I... uh... look, this song is very kinky. I love every part of this song and video. It cleverly mixes the topics of religion and sex, and also brings to mind some social problems that occur throughout our world today. Your move, Jason Derulo. Your move. Hot 100 Success: Will he have it? Like I said, not that much rock music making it big. And I don't know if we're overdue for another song, or if the genre's on its last legs in popularity. Sure hope not. Should he have it? Solely based on this song, definite yes. If there was a church of Hozier... well, that would be kinda dumb. But I'm sure he could get some followers.
Really? Another MAGIC! song? Two wasn't enough this year, huh? We really had to go for three? Well, okay. Here goes...
Well... this is okay, I guess. It's not that special, but considering the songs that do make MAGIC! "special", I'm quite grateful for that. So, okay, what's the song about? Basically, MAGIC! wants you to let your hair down... so that they can have sex with you. I'm diving in, I'm diving in, I'm diving in The water's warm right here At least I think it's sex. They could just be going swimming, for all I know. I just hope the water's warm for the right reason... okay, I've grossed myself out. So, yeah. There's really not much to go on with this one. It's just a mediocre love song. But like I said, considering the tripe I've had to deal with from this band I'm pretty grateful for that. Just keep on being barely there, MAGIC! I'd rather not receive your personalities at full force. Why you gotta be so rude? Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just- Don't you know I'm human too? I know, it's just that... no. No, okay? We're not going down this road, Nasri! You take ownership for your shitty song! Don't force the blame onto me! God damn this band and their persuasive ways... maybe I should let my daughter marry him. Wait, I don't even have a daughter. Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is no! Why you gotta be so rude? I'm done with this.
Okay, so Maroon 5 has released this new song called "Animals". And I'm sure that this will be a song documenting the lives of animals, and telling us to protect the earth because we only have one... oh, who am I kidding? It's a sex song!
Baby, I'm preying on you tonight Hunt you down eat you alive A sex song with violent imagery, but hey, if you're into that kind of thing, then... Maybe you think that you can hide What. Maybe you think that you can hide ...What. Maybe you- Okay, okay, thrice is enough. But... wow. This took a downhill turn fast. So I'm not going to pretend any longer that I'm not aware of the controversy surrounding this song. People are saying that it glorifies stalking and is dangerous for the minds of youth. Which... yeah, I can definitely see that. If the song was obviously ironic, like, say, the most famous stalking song in the world, then it would be a different story. But I'm pretty sure this song (and video) are meant to be taken completely seriously. Stalking is sexy, kids! Now go tell your parents this so they can set you straight. Most of what's wrong with the song is actually in the video, which these days is the medium that Maroon 5 puts more effort into. Look, if this was just straight up Adam Levine stalking the woman, that'd actually be okay. We could look at this as a twisted look into a stalker's psyche. But then they cut to scenes of Adam Levine and this girl having sex, and... yeah, it's not sending a good message at all. All the awareness of stalking being a crime is stripped away with every sex scene, and it makes Maroon 5 look horribly offensive and out-of-touch with what is actually considered sexy in the real world. Hey, what more do you expect from 2013's Sexiest Man Alive? Even without the questionable video, though, this song still blows chunks. Adam Levine's screechy voice is at full goldenhawk at some parts, and when it's not, the song is horrendously boring. Like, really? It's one thing to make a questionable song, but to make it boring as well? Now that's truly questionable. I suppose it's a good thing that the song doesn't really sound that sexy, because maybe it'll help blur the controversial message it's apparently trying to send. But my patience for Maroon 5 and their non-antics is pretty much gone. They've completely lost their identity somewhere along the way. This song is so processed, so calculated, that it could have come from a pop song factory and I wouldn't doubt it. Just slap some screechy goldenhawk vocals on there, and it's quittin' time for Bob and Jill. So, yeah. Nothing about this song or video works. Its incompetence, laziness and questionable ideals shine through in both the song and video. And the overall experience is really unpleasant. I only hope that this is the final nail in the coffin carrying Maroon 5's career, because I could really go the rest of my life without listening to another Maroon 5 song. I hope they never get another successful single again. They're done, I'm done, this review's done. Go away, Maroon 5. Go away. Oh, and by the way, it really says something about your song when a damn Nickelback song with the same title is sexier than yours. "Sexiest Man Alive", my derriere.
New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, and Chinese food makes me sick. But we're not here to talk about bad chicken-fried rice. We're here to talk about New Kids on the Block. This was one of their first hits, and it was the third single in a row that ended with the word "girl" in the title. That... might be a little bit overkill, even for a 1980's boy band. Anyway, let's take a listen to "Please Don't Go Girl".
Oh my god, is this bad. Look, there's Joey McIntyre on lead vocals, and he definitely hasn't hit puberty yet. I didn't know that the 1980's had a Justin Bieber as well! I guess under the circumstances, his voice isn't that bad, but it's really jarring to hear when you know New Kids on the Block for smooth, catchy songs like "Step By Step", and then the next thing you hear is some prepubescent teen whining a love ballad. The song starts out relatively harmless, with a beat that sounds like it was stolen from a clapping slot machine, and Danny Wood mumbling something or other because you always need at least one mumbler in a boy band. I think that's why One Direction is so polarizing: they never had a mumbler. And then it's like... wow, you let the poor little kid take the vocals. You know, when Michael Jackson did it with the Jackson 5, he was the unmitigated star of that group. But this? I'm sure you guys have better to offer. Like, don't you have anybody that can take this kid's place? I think he needs to go back to high school to finish his studies. Oh well. How are the lyrics? Please don't go girl You would ruin my whole world
Not really worth mentioning. Okay then! Look, this is the cheesiest and schmaltziest of cheese schmaltz. There's nothing of substance here, nothing lying beneath. Unless... Tell me you'll stay Never ever go away And if I rearrange some of those words... Tell me you'll go away Never ever stay Oh my god, it's a breakup song in disguise! No, that would be stupid. I mean, this song is stupid, but there's no reason to let my crackpot theories get the better of me. Let's take it for what it is: a shitty love song. New Kids on the Block would get better, at least in my opinion, but everyone has to start somewhere. They're just lucky that this didn't make them dead on arrival. Blech.
They were this group that was huge in the late 2000s because... they were dreamy, I guess? And edgy, I suppose, by Disney standards. I mean, they had guitars, dude! Shred it! Yeah, uh... I honestly couldn't tell you anything more about these guys, because I never listened to them. I got bombarded with Bieber and Cyrus time and time again, but for some reason the Jonas Brothers escaped my radar as a tween. But now that I've got this gig, I see one of them has branched out on his own! And because his new song looks to be up-and-coming on the charts, it looks like I have to review it! God help us all.
You’re too sexy, beautiful Yeah, poetry. Um... so I guess I actually have to listen to some Jonas Brothers to get a little context for this guy... well, I'm goin' in. Wish me luck. Let's start with "Burnin' Up". ...Holy God, been through puberty much, kids?
I think my voice was farther along before these guys, and I was 13. And that's not the only problem. These guys can't carry a note to save their lives. Who'd they take singing lessons from, Pierre Bouvier?
Okay, okay, we definitely don't need any of that. *sigh* Well, that was released in 2008. Maybe Nick Jonas, the most intolerable singer on that track, has matured since then. One can only hope... Well... I guess his voice has gotten better. So what's the song about? Nick Jonas gets jealous...
No, no, we already did that song. Okay, so he gets jealous because some guy looked at his girlfriend. Well, okay, I guess it's reasonable to be a little wary... I’m puffing my chest I’m getting red in the face Dude! It was one guy! There's no need to go all Incredible Hulk on this situation. Wait, didn't he turn green? Whatever. God help me if I'm late delivering a pizza to him. HULK SMASH ANCHOVIES! Worse than this, though, is the fact that the music does not match the lyrics at all. And here's what's odd about the whole thing: Apparently, Jonas wants us to have sex to this song. Because, you know, nothing sets the mood like an overly-attached, aggressive boyfriend. I sure want to have this next to my Barry White! Look, if you want to do a jealous, angry song, then do one! If you want to do a sexy song, then do one! But if you can't decide... then maybe you should think about it a little more, because this really isn't working. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel with this song. Am I supposed to find this... endearing? Cute? Oh, that Nick Jonas, what won't he do next? I certainly don't find it "sexy", so you can count me out on that one. So... what? I'm just confused. The emotion of jealousy just doesn't make for a sexy song. It's like writing a sex song about divorce. Or impotence. Or a typhoon. Actually, that last one might work in a twisted sorta way. But not jealousy. Look, Chromeo took this idea and they made a catchy dance song about it, which... in retrospect, is also pretty odd idea, but at least it doesn't directly contrast the subject matter like this song. It's a mess. It's confused, odd, and almost creepy. Like, "Blurred Lines"-level creepy. Guh. I'm not supposed to get shivers from a former Jonas Brother. I feel all dirty inside. Time to take an ear bath. Hot 100 Success: Will he have it? I didn't know people still cared about any of the Jonas Brothers. It's like still caring about The Click Five. These guys are supposed to die out with the times. But since he's apparently back in the spotlight again, I think he'll do decently well with a solo career, catering to those who can't discern lyrics. Because, honestly... his voice got better, at least. Should he have it? Not until he goes back to Music Writing 101. Have a nice class, Nick!
What do you get when you cross P!nk and City and Colour? You get You+Me, a duo that's at least one-half Canadian, so for the purposes of this blog, they count! And... I gotta say, with all the bullshit gimmicks that pop songs try to shove down our throats, it's nice to hear something coming from the heart for once.
P!nk's always been one of my favourite recent artists. Her personas never seemed forced or phoned-in to me. She always sounded like she was just making music to match her mood for that day. Whether that be in bombastic ballad form or angsty rock star girl form, she's always sounded genuine. And pairing up with one of the most soulful dudes in Canadian music, Dallas Green, is another great way to let her musical talent and sincerity shine through.
Dallas Green's gotten around in Canadian music. He was one of the vocalists for the post-hardcore group Alexisonfire, and has recorded under his alias City and Colour. See, 'cause Dallas is a city, and Green is a colour, albeit not a very creative one. The exact opposite of the artist, however. He's recorded great songs like "Save Your Scissors" and "Thirst", and has basically been the poster child of 2000s rock n' roll in Canada. Y'know, besides those... other guys. Anyway... I love this song. It's another new face for P!nk to put on, and she wears it well, toning herself down like never before. I think there was that song "Please Don't Leave Me", but that was the closest she's been. Not anymore. Maybe it's a little slow, but I still love it. It's a side I've never seen of P!nk before, and seeing Dallas Green in music is always great. This song is totally my cup of tea. Let's you, plus me, listen to it together.
Let's take a look at the Billboard charts for a second. Let's see, we've got "All About That Bass"... did it... "Shake it Off"... done... "Habits"... oh hey, that one got popular. Cool. Hmm... "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne. Well, it's in the Top 10, and I'm always one to give new artists a shot, so let's get it on.
Well, this is different. Actually, a lot of music has been sounding quite "different" this year. I can't really find much of a cohesive path between one hit song and the next. All of pop music seems to be going in a multitude of different directions. The real question, though: does this constitute staying power? I don't mean solely on the Billboard charts, because those have been in perpetual lulls ever since the beginning of the year. What I'm talking about is whether these songs will survive into next year. Whether people will still remember them. And... I don't know, I'm not seeing a lot of staying power this year at all. Is there anyone out there still talking about "Rude"? "Maps"? "Wiggle"? All awful songs, but I haven't heard them or heard about them in a long time, unlike the awful songs of 2013 that refused to go away. So... should I be grateful? Well, while the good songs have more staying power this year than the bad, they're slowly fading from memory too. It's like 2014 is just in this coma and we're constantly coming out of it and forgetting what happened. I can think of maybe a few songs this year that really left an impact, but that's it. But, anyway... what do I make of this song?
As I said, it's got a different sound. I don't know if it's really enough to stand out, but I do like that chorus, where Jess Glynne starts belting a little and the instrumentation picks up. Of course, there are some parts where the instrumentation is a little overbearing... like right after the chorus. Sometimes you just gotta feel the silence, not fill it. Unfortunately, I think it's filled a few too many times, like Clean Bandit just had the mindset of "the more the better". And while it works for the chorus, some of it just seems out of place. I mean, right here's a good example. What's with the random string? What's the purpose? Let the song breathe, don't cram the instruments down our throats. Overall, I do like this song. It's got its problems, but a lot of them are fixed with Jess Glynne on the vocals, who has great control over her voice. I just wish the rest of the song was a little more grounded. Not to the point where it's boring, but to the point where I can digest the mood of the song. All the instruments given to me at once is just a little too much to take in. Honestly, I hope this becomes popular. I hope people start talking about it for whatever reason. Because 2014's had a lot of songs that have failed to meet that standard. I think we've got a few songs out now that fit the bill, but we could use a few more to make up for the lackluster year we've been having. And that's not even saying it's been a bad year for music; it's just almost like people have stopped caring. And that saddens me. Because then people will stop caring about my blog. And then where will I be? Please care about music, and please care about my blog. For the good of humanity, or something.
Okay, Enrique Iglesias's popularity? That made sense.
He was sweet, and charming, and sexy, I guess. Being a straight guy, I'm not the best judge, but I assume that's where most of his appeal came from. Ricky Martin's popularity? That made sense.
He was goofy, and he had enough likability. That's usually enough to warrant popularity. Marc Anthony's popularity? Uh... someone help me out here.
Was this really a big hit back in the early 2000's? This guy, and this song, have no personality. In fact, I'm going to search for any reason as to why this guy might have been in the public eye in the early 2000's. Uh... the Lopez romance was moreso mid-2000's, so... I got nothin'. Well, maybe he's got a strong following with his Spanish-speaking listeners? How good were those songs? Okay, his Spanish songs were pretty good. But this one's still lame. It's so... boring. It doesn't have Enrique's charm, Ricky's kitsch, or J. Lo's... uh, booty. It just sort of meanders along, not bothering to create a personality for itself. Damn you, song! Create a personality for yourself! Here's what I need to know: Why does "I need to know" need to be repeated six times in the chorus? Is it really that urgent that you need to hammer it into our heads like this? Look, I'm all for the Latin pop scene. There was nothing objectively wrong with it. But for God's sake, you still have to try. This song doesn't try. And I need to know why it got a free pass, cause it sure as hell didn't deserve one.
This is... "Stolen Dance" by... Milky Chance. Okay, they totally planned that.
Milky Chance, in case you're wondering, are a German music duo that are making it big over here with their first single, "Stolen Dance". So, how's it hold up? Well, it starts out with a really nice guitar backed by electronic drum beats, which is an interesting combination. That goes on for a little bit, and then we get... the singing. I couldn't believe it at first. I thought, "That's the voice he's going with? Really? That's the mood he wants to set? Radiohead on an especially angsty day?" But upon re-listen, it sort of works. The beat is bouncy, but the singer's voice provides great contrast to it. And that chorus is infectious. Actually, the whole song is, really. As far as lyrical content goes, it's smarter than a lot of songs I cover here, even though it's essentially just a story about wanting to dance with someone again, and wanting to love that person again. Notb the best of narratives, but it's told well. The music really brings that melancholy feeling front and center. The singer's angsty voice helps as well, as much as it threw me for a loop the first time I heard it. This song's got soul. And that's increasingly rare to find in these times. So without further ado, let's get to the big questions: Hot 100 Success: Will they have it? I could see this being a sleeper hit of late fall, yeah. I think these guys have a decent shot. Though they have been hovering distressingly long on the latter half of the Hot 100... that's not usually a good sign. Should they have it? Yeah, Milky Chance deserves a milky chance.. whatever that means. In any case, I could go for a glass of milk.
