CanTunes Tuesday: "No Way No" - MAGIC!

No way! No!

Thank you, thank you. That joke was brought to you by the very limited scope of my brain.

Okay, but seriously: why do these guys still keep having hits here? Their songs range from intolerable to inoffensively bland. I haven't actually liked a single one of their songs, and I'm certainly not about to start now! What is this "No Way No"? Probably just another whiny song about Nasri's refusal to accept that some people (like me) just don't like him...

Will I ever be too far away when you feel alone? (No way, no)
Will I ever back down my sword to protect our home? (No way, no)

Huh. That's interesting. I see he's still got a patriarchal, somewhat outdated view on things, but at least he's using those powers for good. And... if I'm being honest, "Rude" really wasn't all bad.

My main problem with the song was Nasri himself, and the whiny, douchey persona he put on. The music was actually pretty nice. That's true on their single, "Let Your Hair Down", too. So I guess I was just waiting for Nasri to smarten up and do something I like. Well... congratulations, this is a step forward.

He still has this whiny persona that seeps in a time or two...

So please don't blame me, blame me
For trying to be the one who could have it all

Geez, you rewriting "Grenade" there Nasri? Show a little humility.

But honestly, I don't think it's a prevalent problem and it doesn't ruin the song for me. Now on the other hand, I don't think this song is amazing. But... it's decent. I can safely say that I like it. And if MAGIC! continues on this path, I might even grow to like them. Just like... well, magic.

"G.D.F.R." - Flo Rida ft. Sage the Gemini & Lookas

Well, this is an interesting development. The man called "Flo Rida" is back in town!

Yes, he's back with his new single, "G.D.F.R.", which my lyric-interpreting skills tell me stands for "goin' down for real". For real? Well, in some ways, Flo Rida might be the "realest" rapper alive, in that he has absolutely no personality whatsoever, just like the everyday schmuck.

The only thing notable about the guy is that he keeps getting upstaged by other more interesting artists... on his own songs!

I can't remember a single thing about this song except the chorus. It's the same thing with "Good Feeling", "Right Round", "Club Can't Handle Me"... all of his songs! So I'm really not expecting anything from this new single, which features Sage the Gemini on the "hook". Anyone remember Sage the Gemini?

Somehow I think Sage the Gemini has crafted a personality out of not having a personality, which is more than Flo Rida has done, but still not enough to save this song. But you know what might be able to save it? A badass remixing of "Low Rider"!

Yeah, now here's a song worth remixing! With its swanky saxophone solo, who could resist? It's been covered by everyone from Korn to Barry White. And now it's in a Flo Rida song. It is easily the best part of the song, while the rest is inane drivel.

I know what you came here to see
If you're a freak, then ya coming home with me

Yeah, thanks Sage. Anything of substance, Flo Rida? Anything?

Your girl just kissed a girl
I do bi chicks

Nope, there's nothing here.

So you guessed it: If it weren't for the sax solo, this song would be totally forgettable in every way. Usually Flo Rida's inane drivel is saved by a catchy hook, but now the catchy hook has been delegated to a catchy beat. It's a Flo Rida song that fails at even being a Flo Rida song. Does this make it better or worse than other Flo Rida songs? Well, that's for the jury to decide. But this is just another forgettable song with one good part about it. Fo' real.

Flashback Friday: "(You're My) Soul and Inspiration" - The Righteous Brothers (1966)

Hey guys! Do you like soul music? Well, how about if that soul music was performed by white people? Bear with me.

These are The Righteous Brothers, Bobby Hatfield and Bill Medley. They hit their heyday in the mid-60's, with hits such as "Unchained Melody" and this one, "(You're My) Soul and Inspiration". How does this song in particular hold up?

Well, if we're just comparing the two, I much prefer "Unchained Melody". I think when the higher range of vocals is performed, it does more for the song than the lower range. Gives the guys a little more soul and feeling. "Soul and Inspiration" just kind of stays too one-note for me, not really going as far with the vocals as their other hits. It does pick up at the chorus, but it's not enough for me to call this one of my favourites from the duo. Sorry, fellas. This song is not my soul or inspiration.

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "New York Raining" - Charles Hamilton ft. Rita Ora

(Sorry for the short entry, feeling kinda under the weather and had a busy day. No excuses, except... excuses.)

Let's see. Iggy Azalea failed to make Rita Ora a thing. Can Charles Hamilton make Rita Ora a thing?

Well, this song might do it. I think it's pretty good. It's got a nice beat, good flow from Charles Hamilton. The style of it kind of reminds me of the J. Cole song "Crooked Smile", a song I really liked from 2013. But is Charles Hamilton enough to stand out from the crowd?

Despite his obvious talent, I don't really think so. I guess the way I can put it is that he's not really obnoxious enough, which is... a really sad commentary on popular rap music, but there ya have it.

Hot 100 Success:

Will he have it?

Like I said, not really much of a personality. I don't think he'll be seeing the charts anytime soon.

Should he have it?

Well, he does have talent, but presence is what he's lacking. With a little more presence he could win my vote, but for now I don't really think so.

CanTunes Tuesday: "Better to Be Loved" - Francesco Yates

Well, uh... Canadian music as of late is... existing... sorta.

I guess the scene hasn't been particularly bad, but it just hasn't been very existent, either. I've had to dive back into previous years multiple times this year because I haven't been able to find a single current Canadian hit on the current Canadian chart. What we really need is to have someone bring back the cool, eclectic music that Canada used to treasure. Bring back Rush and Neil Young. Maestro Fresh Wes and The Rascalz. k-os and Our Lady Peace. Let's make Canadian music exciting again, dammit! But who can do it?

But... but... he's not Canadian! Much as I'd like him to be, he's not! What could he possibly do for us?

Oh.

Ooh.

Yeeeeaaah.

Hey all you Americans! Did you miss Justin Timberlake? Well, it's too bad, because you see, we took him and we put him into a 19-year-old Canadian's body! That Canadian is Francesco Yates, and he's got a hot new single out called "Better to be Loved".

Produced by Pharrell Williams, this song bounces all the way through. It's a true breath of fresh air in the somewhat stagnant Canadian music scene. I mean, the last thing I was expecting to pop up as a Canadian hit was a little white boy credibly singing funk music.

And he just... he just came out of nowhere! It's almost as if Canada itself was becoming self-aware of how mediocre its musical scene was getting, so they randomly decided to give us this artist to make a hit song that actually swings!

That thumping beat... that twanging guitar... it all works so well! This song is why I'm proud to be Canadian. Francesco Yates, I hope to see a lot more from you. It's really nice to see that Canada can make up for Justin Bieber by producing this later. Good on ya, Canada. Good work.

"Lay Me Down" - Sam Smith

Sam Smith! He plays a dual career as a Grammys darling and a perpetual pain in my ass.

Boring! Boring! *sigh* Look, all things considered, Sam Smith is talented. But he always seems so distant from actual emotion when he sings. When he sings, I don't really believe what he's saying. He sounds like he's emoting to gain popularity, rather than to show true emotions. In short, Sam Smith hasn't been one of my favourite artists as of late.

But then I heard this song, and I was pleasantly surprised! So now it's my job to figure out exactly what works about this song, and what didn't about Sam Smith's other singles.

Okay, well let's go past Sam Smith for a bit and look at the instrumentation. Sam Smith's musical accompaniment has been fairly minimalist. And this new song, "Lay Me Down", is about as minimalist as you can get. If you replaced the  white guy with a white girl, it would all of a sudden turn into a Christina Perri song.

But then I remember: I hate Christina Perri! Great, so now I've got another question to answer: what makes the meager musical accompaniment work with "Lay Me Down"? Well, Sam Smith's main draw has always been his vocals, which I guess is another reason why "Stay With Me" doesn't really work - Sam Smith can do the vocals on his own, so what's with the gospel choir? They add nothing to the subject matter of the song, whiny as it is. If anything, they detract from it.

But in "Lay Me Down", Sam Smith gets to have a shining moment for his vocals, because the only thing stopping him from doing so is a piano. Christina Perri just doesn't have the pipes to justify such minimalist music. And here's another important thing that makes "Lay Me Down" work: Sam Smith appears to be legitimately emoting.

Honestly, I was waiting for this guy to make a song I liked, I think. I begrudgingly saw some potential in the guy, and I wanted to see if he could justify it. Well, with this song, I think he just did. And if an artist has a good song in them, they get off my list of complete infamy. Trust me, you don't want to be on my list of complete infamy. It's not a good place to be. Jeremih is there. Vanilla Ice is there. Stay away from there.

Sam Smith: Not as bad as I thought he was. That's all.

Flashback Friday: "Shake That" - Eminem ft. Nate Dogg (2006)

You know, there were times when Eminem at least had a personality to back up his misogynistic lyrics. Not here, though. Here, he just goes for the typical rap tropes and we're all worse off for listening to it. This is "Shake That".

Yep. Eminem is doing an ass anthem. And this one's not even hilariously lame, like "Ass Like That". This is just a straight-up, misogynistic, downright creepy ass anthem. This is one of the two new singles off of his greatest hits album, and while one I can forgive for being schmaltzy but at least sincere, this one is a complete waste. Right from the beginning, you can tell that any rapper could have done this.

Shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin' and grindin' that pole
The way she's grindin' that pole
I think I'm losing control

Wow. I think I legitimately forgot which song I was talking about after hearing that set of lyrics. Was it this one? Or this one? Or maybe even this one? Who knows? And more importantly, who cares?

This is not what Eminem should be about! When he first came onto the scene, he stood out as legitimately more dangerous and insane than any other rapper that preceded him. He slapped women, ate shrooms, then OD'd. And every angry white boy wanted to grow up to be just like him! But this? Who wants to grow up to be like this hack?

Say what you will about the new Eminem, at least it's him! At least I can't picture anybody else rapping those lyrics but him. This is so peripheral that I can only slightly detect it in my vision. Eminem's Encore album may have been awful and unfathomably stupid, but it was also unique in its awfulness. This is just generic.

That's also why this is probably the Eminem song that offends me the most. Worse than anything else he's ever released. The song that this reminds me of the most is Rocko's awful 2013 hit "U.O.E.N.O.", in which Rick Ross spits these lyrics:

Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it
I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it

Now the main problem with these lyrics aren't that they're disgusting, and awful, and indicative of a society cloaked in rape culture. They are, but those aren't the main problem. The main problem is just how blasé Rick Ross sounds when he says it, as if this is a perfectly normal, "thug" thing to do. Incidentally, that's the vibe I get when I hear this song, and these lyrics:

Pop a little champagne and a couple E's
Slip it in her bubbly, we finna finna have a party

And it's not helped by the fact that Eminem sounds the most bored he's ever sounded, which was honestly a huge problem with "Just Lose It" as well. Somewhere along the line, Eminem lost the edge in his voice, and it's a huge detriment to the song, not that the song really needed any detriments. How are we supposed to invest in this ass anthem if Eminem won't even invest? At least Nate Dogg tries to add some swagger to this terrible song, but Em just clocks out.

Thankfully Eminem would try to correct himself later in his career, to less-than-stellar results, but still better than this tripe. This is a bad song. One of the worst of this man's career. Of course, there were also the songs from that Greatest Hits album not released as singles...

...but they were never released as singles, so we don't have to talk about them! Seeya next time!

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "My Jam" - Bobby Brackins ft. Zendaya and Jeremih

Did you like this song?

Or this song?

Then you have Mr. Bobby Brackins to thank for that! He write these two songs, some of the biggest hits of 2014. And now he's out there with a new single of his own, featuring a Disney Channel star and someone who has less talent than your typical Disney channel star. Let's see how that pans out for him.

Now, Bobby Brackins has released his own music before. It all pretty much sounds the same, so it's not really worth looking at. This one as well sounds like it could have been tweaked a little and you would end up with "2 On", or "Don't Tell 'Em". But overall, I guess it's harmless enough. The guy's voice isn't exactly pleasant, but the problem is honestly more prevalent on his other songs, so this one's almost a breath of fresh air. It's stupid, but I can't say I can build up much hatred for it. As far as the artist goes, he's had his good and bad songwriting. I don't really care for any of his own music at all, but I guess I can see the appeal if you actually like Jeremih. It's all very "whatever" for me.

Hot 100 Success:

Will he have it?

I don't see why not. This sounds like every other dirgey R&B song that came out in the past year. He'll fit right in.

Should he have it?

I don't really want to hear more of this on the radio, but I guess it's not the worst thing ever. "No", but a soft "no".

CanTunes Tuesday: "I Really Like You" - Carly Rae Jepsen

Carly Rae Jepsen in 2015.

Tom Hanks in a Carly Rae Jepsen video in 2015. Why... oh, god why.

He's lip-syncing to her lyrics... he's... dancing with her... okay, what is this?! Why did this happen?!

Okay... let's look at a brief history of the musical career of Carly Rae Jepsen.

Carly Rae was on Canadian Idol in Season 5, in which she placed 3rd, only to the mega Canadian superstars we know and love today, like... Brian Melo and... Jaydee Bixby. Hmm. The difference is, Carly Rae had a hit.

A smash hit, in fact. "Call Me Maybe" was without a doubt the most popular song of the summer of 2012. And, looking back, for good reason. It was an insanely catchy song with a fun little story that didn't require you to think too hard.

Before you came into my life 
I missed you so bad

Okay, admittedly I still scratch my head with that one. Anyway, Carly Rae went on to have a few more homegrown hits, plus a collaboration with Owl City. And come 2012, that seemed like the end of Carly Rae's journey as a hitmaker. But now... she's back.

I really really really really really really like you

Okay, Carly Rae. You've officially crossed the line of banality. There is no turning back from this.

Despite the brainless chorus, actually, it's a pretty good song for me. It retains all the catchiness and charm of "Call Me Maybe", and it's honestly a pretty sincere love message. Well, "like" message. Honestly, the more girly Carly Rae gets, the more she succeeds, despite the fact that she's 29. Yeah. Doesn't look like it, eh? Surprised me too.

Well, there's honestly not much to say about this song, but it gets a thumbs up from me. If we need a little more cuteness in Canada, then I'll take Carly Rae gladly.

"Trap Queen" - Fetty Wap

Let's talk about trap music.

Trap music started in the early 90's with acts like Three 6 Mafia and Master P bringing it to the mainstream. It consists of an aggressive-sounding structure with aggressive lyrics to match, and.. wait, this song isn't trap?

Trap queen? What the hell is a trap queen?

Oh, a badass female who doesn't take shit from others. Well, that's respectable enough! Let's hear how this song works to praise the aforementioned "trap queen".

Well, it does have a certain energy to it, which works to the song's benefit and is indicative of the trap genre. The song's mood pumps you up, which is exactly what it's supposed to do. So, how does the lyrical content hold up?

Well, the lyrics mostly end up boiling down to "look how much money I have, money money money", but at the same time, this time around they're meant for a significant other, so it does work well. This significant other is a stripper that a guy and his friends go to see, but who am I to judge? Oh, wait. That's my calling.

Honestly, even though it does sound like a lot of mainstream rap, I can't get too mad at this song for those reasons. It's sincere enough with a nice beat, and that's pretty much all you need to make it a winner these days with today's rap music. I mean... need we bring up Rae Sremmurd again?

I didn't think so. Enjoy your Fetty Wrap, everybody!

Flashback Friday: "Special Lady" - Ray, Goodman & Brown (1980)

Today, we're going to take things down a notch. That's right, we're going back to 1980, where the trio Ray, Goodman & Brown had their hit, "Special Lady"! How special was it? Well, let's find out.

So, a little history first. Before Ray, Goodman & Brown were Ray, Goodman & Brown, they were The Moments. The Moments had a few successful moments in the mid-70's, with hits like "Sexy Mama" and "Look at Me (I'm in Love)". Not exactly a deathmetal group we're dealing with here. Pretty cheesy stuff overall. And "Special Lady" is too!

I mean, they're mumbling to each other what they need to do in order to make the song sound better. Boys... you should have figured that out beforehand.

Eh, this song's one gigantic cheeseball when it all comes down to it, but I do think it has its charms. The harmonies on the chorus are very nice, and I like how it starts and ends a capella. Besides, at least these guys have charm. There's a lot of early 80's cheese that I wish would just go away already, but for whatever reason, these guys didn't stick around. life is cruel. Well, I hope that lady you're singing about sure feels special. I probably would.

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Adore" - Cashmere Cat ft. Ariana Grande

It's becoming increasingly evident that to see where pop music is going, we have to look to Europe.

Why? Because that's where all the DJs are coming from, of course! Avicii, David Guetta, Swedish House Mafia (that one's a little self-explanatory). And now working with Ariana Grande, we have another Euro DJ trying to break into the mainstream: Cashmere Cat.

Now Cashmere Cat's been on the scene for a while now, but it's his work with Ariana Grande that has increased his buzz. He first helped produce her My Everything album in 2014, and today we're going to look at his newest single, another collaboration with Grande, titled, "Adore".

Now Cashmere Cat and Ariana Grande work together to create a song that works pretty well. Ariana Grande's dreamlike vocals complement the dreamlike sounds used by Cashmere Cat, and the slow buildup accumulates to the chorus, where Ariana begins crying out and her vocals reach her peak in the song. The song works throughout. It's not the best I've heard from Ariana Grande, but it's a solid effort all the same. She's still a little mumbly through some of her words, but she and Cashmere Cat work together to create a solid mood throughout the song. However, is this song enough to propel Cashmere Cat to the Billboard hot 100 mainstream? Let's find out!

Hot 100 Success:

Will he have it?

This is exactly the direction that pop music is going. With artists like Disclosure notching a Top 10 hit, I don't see why Cashmere Cat couldn't do the same with this, especially with a big-name star like Ariana Grande on the track.

Should he have it?

He's solid enough that I'll give him a pass. I'd maybe like to see a little more effort put into his songs, but as is he knows how to create a mood and work with his singers. Sure, let him in.

CanTunes Tuesday (Flashback): "Shook" - Shawn Desman (2003)

You know, today I was expecting a mediocre look into the past of 2000s Canadian music. Mediocrity is kind of what I expected from Shawn Desman. Instead, I got "Shook".

"Shook" is that kind of bad song where you just have to admire the badness of it. Like, this guy is trying so hard to be credible as a singer. And to be fair, he's not terrible. But the blaring music in the background and these awful lyrics don't do him any favours at all.

On my way to catch a flick 
Just me and my clique
Stand in line we’re already late 
Cause the movie started at eight

...?

Why... who writes a song about being late for the movies?! You couldn't think of anything better to write about?

Look around trying to compass a seat 
Take the first one that I see 
Sit down and look beside
Next to me this girl she blew my mind 

...you know, this song's different. I'll give it that at least. I mean, have you heard a song about love at first sight... at the movies? Of course you haven't, because you don't go to the movies to pick up chicks, even accidentally! You go to the movies to watch a movie!

Honestly, maybe this song could have worked if it was more generic. This story is so stupid that it takes you out of the song, which by the way is basically, "Wow. Look at that female. She is sexy." But to be fair, the song doesn't need these lyrics to lose me. I'm already lost when I hear that obnoxious beat. It's like a bunch of kids' toys going off all at once.

If there's anything to take from this entry, it's that Shawn Desman is usually mediocre, but sometimes his songs can go that extra mile and just be plain bad. Also, I've covered a Shawn Hook, a Shawn Mendes, and now a Shawn Desman on my Canadian picks. There are way too many musical Shawns coming from Canada. This must be stopped. #NoMoreShawns - Trend it.

"Truffle Butter" - Nicki Minaj ft. Drake and Lil Wayne

Looks like Nicki Minaj is still aiming for chart success in 2015! How's that working out for her?

Well, her song "Only" failed to crack the Top 10, so it's no "Anaconda". But maybe she'll have more success with her newest hit single, "Truffle Butter". Okay, that's a euphemism for something, and I'm not really keen on figuring it out.

...okay, thank you Urban Dictionary. I don't think this enhances my enjoyment of the song whatsoever.

So "Truffle Butter" is yet another Nicki Minaj collaboration with Drake and Lil Wayne. It starts off with this sample of Maya Jane Coles' "What They Say", and then Drake starts with his verse.

Uh, thinkin' out loud

I must have a quarter million on me right now

How exciting, another cash money hoes song.

Hard to make a song 'bout something other than the money

I... okay, this lyric infuriates me. No, man. It's not hard. Kendrick does it all the time. Lupe does it all the time. If you're such a great rapper, why is it so hard for you to change the subject matter every blue moon?! I mean, maybe it's hard to make a rap song about something else and stay wildly popular. But THAT couldn't be your reasoning, could it? Gag me.

Okay, so he does some sort of Kanye West-inspired thing in the next few lyrics (HUUUH?) and... I don't know, what else has he got?

I could probably make some stepsisters fuck each other

...

WHACK JOB. WHACK JOB ALERT.

Seriously, dude. Why would you... even if they're not... that's just gross! And I was beginning to like you too Drake. Talk about going from 100 to 0. Okay, Nicki's verse.

Yo, thinkin' out loud
I must have about a milli on me right now

I kind of like how Drake has a quarter of the money Nicki has in the context of this song. That's honestly pretty funny.

Nicki's verse mostly deals with her dominance as a female rapper, and how basically no other female rappers can touch her. Now see, there's a more interesting subject than money, and less disturbing than... making stepsisters... fuck each other. Can't get over that one, I gotta say. Some of the lyrics are a little off the mark, but overall a far better offering than Drake this time around.

And finally, we have to talk about this Lil Wayne fella.

Uh, thinkin' out loud
I could be broke and keep a million dollar smile

...

Judge as you may, you judgmental Internet weirdos.

Lil Wayne's verse mostly deals with the raunchy, gross sex talk that he usually offers in a song. Not much to offer here, but honestly it's about on par from what I expect from Lil Wayne, so I'll put this one above Drake's verse too.

Overall, the song's just okay. A few killer lyrics here and there, mostly from Minaj, but the sample is honestly not that interesting and they don't do much with it, and Drake's verse just kills the momentum before it can begin. Also, this song made me look up "truffle butter", which is another strike against it. Seriously, gross. Why are there terms for this shit?

Flashback Friday: "So Sick" - Ne-Yo (2006)

Ne-Yo: the king of R&B sadness.

Are you sick of R&B being so uplifting? Well, come with me and check out Ne-Yo, a guy whose main strength is making your heart break and sing at the same time! This song is called "So Sick". It was pretty successful at the beginning of 2006, making its way all the way to the top of the Hot 100 in March. Apparently this song must have resonated with a lot of people in order to make it so high.

Do do do do do do do do

The lyrics get better. 

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cause right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone

Okay, they're still cheesy as hell, but honestly I like the imagery of these mundane activities that Ne-Yo has to do now that his girl left him. It's stuff that you don't really think about when writing a love song, but they do have some emotional attachment.

Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary

He makes fixing calendars sad! Somebody stop this man!

Like I said, Ne-Yo is the king of the sad R&B. But when I say that, it's not really because he's the best at it. It's because he does it the most often. I can't remember the last time I heard a happy Ne-Yo performance. Happy is just not an emotion he wears in his music. And everybody's got their niche, so that's not necessarily a bad thing. Ne-Yo's performances sometimes seem restrained, though.

However, in this song I think the restraint works. He's sick of his sadness and he wants it to no longer be a part of him. Of course, he's Ne-Yo, and he just broke up with a girl, so that's borderline impossible. But he tries to hold it back, and it works to the song's benefit. Overall, I can see the problems others might have with this song, but I actually really like it and I think it works well. I probably won't get sick of this song anytime soon.

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Hold Back the River" - James Bay

Hey America! Are you guys ready to let the critical darlings of indie rock back into your hearts?

With Hozier still in the Top 10, it looks like we've got at least a little room for some indie rock on the charts still. Will that include James Bay? Let's find out!

James Bay hasn't been active for long, but his new single, "Hold Back the River", has given him the most buzz he's had in his career, careening him to the Top 10 in five countries, none of which are the United States. Does this guy have a prayer? Well, other than Hozier, how has the history of rock n' roll on the charts been lately?

Well, there have been hits, but they haven't really been the brand James is going for here. Rather than peppy, poppy rock, James Bay appears to be going for a more soulful, folksy sound. And honestly... that brand of rock hasn't been getting much success lately. To get big on the charts and be a rock song in 2014, you either had to be peppy and fun like Paramore or big and bombastic like Bastille. If not, well you end up like "Riptide": scraping the Top 30 and nothing more. And as far as I can tell, this song hasn't even charted yet. Not that James Bay is a bad artist; he's certainly not. But he just hasn't crossed over for some reason. Why could that be?

If I'm being brutally honest here, the song is a little generic. It's got a Mumford & Sons thing going on but without the twangy banjos or the sheer amount of energy. Mumford & Sons minus all the parts that make them who they are. It's still a "good" song, but I can see why the public isn't taking to it. It's just not very interesting. I feel like I've heard exactly this song a million times over. Every rock song that got big in the past while had its own unique style and deserved to make it. This? This just seems peripheral.

For the record. James Bay is a very good singer. It's just that this song just doesn't do much for me. It actually doesn't start out bad, but once it gets into the second verse and drops the minimalist instrument thing, it stops being its own thing and starts becoming generic. Not the worst song I've heard by any means. Just... eh.

Hot 100 Success:

Will he have it?

I really don't think this is distinctive enough to catch on. It's got some interesting things going on, I guess, but I think we were spoiled by interesting rock music this year. Sorry, man.

Should he have it?

Like I said, James Bay is not a bad artist by any means. I've listened to a few of his other songs and he does have a distinctive style. And his biggest hit is not a bad song, either. We certainly wouldn't be worse off with James Bay on the charts, so I'll give him a pass, i suppose.

CanTunes Tuesday: "Never Be Alone" - Shawn Mendes

Shawn Mendes: can the kid just go away already?

I don't think anything about him is interesting or compelling, other than his ability to mangle "r" sounds more cringeworthily than Ariana Grande. The kid's just a marble-mouthed passable singer who doesn't make interesting music. The closest he got was "Something Big", and honestly now that I think about it, that song sounds like every party jam that comes out of Canada.

I just don't think there's much to the guy. And he's confirmed my accusations with his newest single, "Never Be Alone", in which he tries on the "Ed Sheeran" brand of music.

Now, while Ed Sheeran is pretty masterful at writing these kinds of songs, with intricate metaphors and what have you, I can't really say the same for Mendes over here. Every line is just dull in this.

I promise that one day I'll be around
I'll keep you safe
I'll keep you sound

Wait a minute! "One day" you'll be around? Why aren't you around now? Anything?

Right now it's pretty crazy
And I don't know how to stop or slow it down

With this song? Because it's doing a pretty good job at slowing my heart rate and putting me into a coma.

This song's not only boring, but something's off about this. You can't write a song about not being able to stop or slow it down if that's exactly what you're doing! Say what you will about other acoustic ballads, at least it makes sense why they're slow. This... this is slowly becoming downright incompetent.

And that's all I have to say about this. It's mediocre in all ways possible. Definitely not a song I'll remember tomorrow, and not really one that deserves to be remembered. When One Direction are writing better acoustic ballads than you, it's time to start over and try again.

"Style" - Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift has turned into a pop superstar.

My god, do I love this album. You have to understand that before 1989 came out, I had no interest in listening to any Taylor Swift. Now, for me, it's like each new song she comes out with is a breath of fresh air in the pop world. This one is no exception. It's called "Style", and baby, it's got style.

I don't know why T-Swift didn't just do this in the first place. She's much better at being a pop superstar than she is the cutesy girl next door. Her off-stage persona has solidified that, with her getting unnecessarily angry at things other celebrities say, the scandals, the long list of ex-lovers. She was always a pop superstar waiting to happen to me. This emergence is one that I fully support in every way, shape, form... and style.

Ever since becoming a superstar, Taylor Swift has felt comfortable in her own skin. I mean, in her last album she was experimenting with dubstep, for Christ's sake. The claws had to come out sooner or later. and they did, and it's produced T-Swift's best album.

So, the first two singles, "Shake it Off" and "Blank Space" respectively, are about being your own person and not caring what the critics say, and admitting that what the critics said is totally right. Hmm. How do you follow up that one-two punch? Well, how about a love song?

This song shows just how comfortable Taylor Swift is becoming a pop star. Because she's written love songs in the past, but they've never had that elegance of a grown woman singing them. Here, Taylor Swift sounds like she knows a thing or two about love and romance. It's an interesting development for her, and one i'm willing to ride all the way.

I just think it's fascinating how one album can completely change your perception of an artist. Taylor Swift's evolution from country gal to pop queen is one of the most fascinating and wonderful I've seen, and I can't wait to hear more from her!