CanTunes Tuesday: "Bungalow" - Scott Helman

This is "Bungalow" by Scott Helman. I like it.

The song's got a lot of Shawn Mendes in it, but it also has a lot of influence that I do like. I definitely hear a bit of indie rock and folk rock in this, especially around the chorus, and I like what I.. okay, take a look at this for a second.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/6316647

That is just the corniest thing. I don't care whether I like the song or not, that is just cheesy to the max. But anyway, I do like the song. Honestly, there's not much separating it form a Shawn Mendes song, but the stuff that is works for me big-time.

First off, the song has a pulse. Thank god for that. The verses and chorus don't meander; the song actually takes you on a journey, something music should definitely do. Secondly, it's got some interesting instrumentation. As I said, the song sounds very indie and folk rock-influenced, and you can definitely tell from the banjos in the chorus. Hellooo, Mumford & Sons.

But it's not just a ripoff of that sound. It meshes the pop idealistics of Shawn Mendes and the folksy instrumentation of Mumford & Sons to make it its own thing. And that's pretty damn awesome. Is it my favourite Canadian song of the year? No, not since we've had this and this. But it's certainly better than a lot of stuff I've been hearing this year up north. Hey, it even gives me a little bit of hope. Good job, Scott Helman. Don't fuck this up.

"Fight Song" - Rachel Platten

Empowerment! Overcoming struggles! Fighting for yourself! It's all right here in "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten.

Yes! Notice how Rachel Platten just does not give a fuck about the world around her trying to bring her down! Listen to those inspired lyrics, where she strongly proclaims "This is my fight song! Take-back-my-life song!" ...huh.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/6303294

Yeah, I'm sorry. I just hear a lyric like "Take-back-my-life song" and my mind immediately reverts to "Manic Monday". But that's my problem, not Rachel Platten's! So let's not let that take away from just how inspired and inspirational this song is!

...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yeah, chalk this one up in the "not trying hard enough to be inspirational 'inspirational' song" category. I mean, seriously. Take out the drums and this could be a lullaby. And that's simply not what the song should have been going for!

I don't know what's up with these artists that think that they can sound however they want just so long as they have "inspirational" lyrics to go along with it, but it's a music trend that needs to stop dead in its tracks. Why? Because it makes for terrible, boring music. Honestly listen to this song and tell me if it makes you feel more inspired. If it does... great! But for me, it doesn't do a thing.

I give credit that "Fight Song" might be trying a little harder than its competitors - it's got the woman screaming "HA!" in the background or whatever, I guess that's some kind of rallying battle cry - but the fact is, the instrumentation is still too weaksauce to justify any kind of inspirational or empowering message. Let me tell you something: If your song can be played on an adult contemporary station without much fuss, then you need to try harder with your empowerment anthem.

Man... I guess there's a place for this stuff in the pop world - I suppose 50-year-old ladies need to feel empowered too - but it's not for me, and I'm not buying it. Hell, Twisted Sister sounded more empowering than this, and that lead singer looked like a Raggedy Ann Doll with a botched makeover. Sorry people. I have a feeling a lot will like this song, but don't count me among one of them. It's too weak and it's too forgettable. Perhaps Rachel Platten should fight for a better song to define her artistry.

Flashback Friday: "All My Life" - K-Ci & JoJo (1998)

You gotta love that 90's R&B. Probably some of the most lovey-dovey stuff you would ever hear on the radio, but the difference between that and intolerable lovey-dovey stuff is that this is done with class. Enter K-Ci & JoJo.

These guys hit it really big with the third single off of their debut full album, "All My Life". It's pretty much what you'd expect from 90's R&B: smooth, satisfying, and sweet.

You've got both K-Ci and JoJo pouring their hearts out to their loved ones, and all you can really do is sit back and bask in the love they have. There's one little thing that I find interesting though:

And I hope that you feel the same way too 

Wait...

Yes, I pray that you do love me too 

Is this relationship mutually felt?

They do talk about how the girl picks him up when he's down and smiles or whatever, but it always does come back to those lines in the chorus. Interesting.

Oh, well. It's still a classic R&B jam with a sweet message and a great sound.

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Hot Boy" - Bankroll Fresh

Honestly, the way I see it, there are only two categories of rap music that matter right now, and that's Vine rap and non-Vine rap. Here's some non-Vine rap, as far as my knowledge goes.

It's okay.

Honestly, my rap music tolerance has dropped so low over the past while that I can't get too mad at generic bragging tunes. And as far as they go, this one's actually not too bad. Guy's got some decent flow and it's catchy enough. It's also got enough bass for the crowd that enjoys doing this:

Look, if you like doing this, don't invite me into your car, that's all I'm sayin'.

So on the whole, I guess I would actually welcome this guy into the pop world, because it's certainly better than the rap song I reviewed this week that actually did get popular enough for a Sunday review. (Honestly, that one might be one of the worst songs I've ever heard.) It's nothing too special, but it's got enough going for it that I'll give it a pass.

CanTunes Tuesday: "Can't Feel My Face" - The Weeknd

Oh god... The Weeknd?! Again? All right, let's get this over with. I bet it's going to be another gross-sounding, whiny, underthought song that makes me once again wonder why we keep this guy around...

Wow. This... actually sounds good. Hell, it sounds great!

Finally, a Weeknd song that I can actually say I like. Actually, I love this song! Finally, the production has been given some energy and The Weeknd's voice actually works well with it! Why doesn't he do more stuff like this?

Well, you know what? I don't really have an answer to that question. Because music like this is definitely on his repertoire, as evidenced by his first album. But I guess the slower, more clumsy music he's well known for today has made him more popular.

So, a challenge: help to make this song as popular as something like "Earned It" or "The Hills". Help The Weeknd realize that he can release music like this and retain his fanbase. Help good music to come thorough to the public.

"Watch Me" - Silento

Do you really need me for this review? I could just provide you with this:

and it would pretty much sum up my thoughts on this bullshit getting popular. Why? Why? Why? Why are we so reliant on Vine for our pop songs now? And if so, can we at least make them a little better than this?

All this idiot does is name-drop a bunch of dances that everyone has forgotten. THAT'S ALL HE DOES. YOU PEOPLE MADE THIS POPULAR.

No, you know what, I know when things are worth my time, and this guy clearly is not. I'm sorry, but when the charts are interested with providing me with an actual song, then maybe I'll be interested in sticking around for the review! But this?

Now watch me whip
Now watch me nae nae
Now watch me whip whip
Now watch me nae nae

What can I even say about it? There's nothing of substance here! Nothing works as a song, nothing keeps me wanting to come back, and nothing is making me want to stick around and dissect this song lyric by lyric.

Now break your legs

..."Break your legs"? Was that seriously a dance move?

That... that looks really stupid. Okay, moving on.

Now watch me

Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop...

How did this idiot become so popular?! I... I can't think of a single reason to listen to this song. It is dead on arrival; it stinks of... well, stanky leg, I guess.

Please God, stop with this trainwreck of nonsense. Put on something good!

I put in a good word with the man upstairs. If this doesn't make you want to go to church, what will? SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME... hey, hold on, this song is about dancing too. So... what makes this song work so well and the other work so poorly.

Well, let me answer you in layman's terms: "Shut Up and Dance" actually sounds like a song. It sounds like something you'd want to listen to. And despite my bashing of the idea, I honestly do think a song listing off a bunch of dance moves could work. But you have to put effort into it and show respect to the art form. Here, it's just name-dropping dance moves because you couldn't think of anything better to do. And that just blows chunks. So don't look back, just keep your eyes on me, and I'll take you away from the nonsense that is "Watch Me". Ugh.

Flashback Friday: "Ticket to Ride" - The Beatles (1965)

Ah, The Beatles.

It's sort of crazy to look back and think just how much The Beatles dominate our cultural mindset of popular music. Sure you've got your Justin Biebers and your Lady Gagas, but after 5 years or so in the limelight nobody really seems to be talking about them anymore. People still remember The Beatles though, and in honour of Sir Paul McCartney's 73rd birthday, let's take a look at one of their songs. Above is "Ticket to Ride".

Now it's kind of funny, because there was actually a bit of a dispute on who wrote this song, concerning Paul McCartney. The song is credited to Lennon-McCartney, but both Lennon and McCartney insisted that their contribution was greater than the other's. Whichever the case may be, however, "Ticket to Ride" is still a kickass song.

The Beatles' Help! album is probably one of their most important as a band because of songs like this. You can still hear the pop influences of their early stuff, but there's something new creeping over the horizon. Something that would continue to define their sound for the latter half of the 60's.

That's right, this is where they start getting into psychedelic rock, culminating with albums like Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour. You can definitely hear the beginnings of that in "Ticket to Ride". The instruments sound grittier than before, and the drums pound harder. Still retains a lot of pop rock from their early days, but also offers something new.

Besides that, I also love the song as a standalone. It's got a really relaxed vibe to it; It love the guitar in this song. But then the lyrics are about a girl leaving... and she don't care.

It all provides a wonderful song that takes you on a journey, even though it's really only about one thing. The music helps to do that. I love the song on its own, and I love what it means for The Beatles.

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Special Affair" - The Internet

I think that R&B these days needs more slow jams. As is, the most we can get right now is maybe the occasional track from Usher. So if you're looking to win me over with a song about a one night stand, well, what can I say? You have me.

This song isn't exactly deep. It pretty much details what I just said: a one night stand. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but even the lyrics don't dive into the subject matter that deeply. It's basically just "let's bone".

But it's the mood of the song that puts it in my good graces. Like I said, we need more slow stuff from R&B and this song has just the medicine. This is a slow, sultry jam that really delivers with its instrumentation. I think I would have liked to see it go a little further, but it's honestly trying to set an interesting tone for the song, something I haven't been seeing lately. So maybe lowered expectations are playing a part in my thoughts. Whatever. I hope the best for this group. They haven't gained much popularity yet, but I hope they eventually do, maybe with a more accessible song that's a little more upbeat. Or hey, maybe this one could become a surprise hit. You never know.

CanTunes Tuesday: "Stitches" - Shawn Mendes

Shawn Mendes keeps having hits and he isn't going away and I'm going to be reviewing him for a looong time, aren't I?

Okay, to be fair, not every song by this guy is completely awful. I think I remember having more than a few positive things to say about "Something Big". But... honestly, this guys just doesn't excite me. He's not the worst thing I've ever heard, but he's also far from being the best. So I don't exactly have high expectations when it comes to this "Stitches" song. So let's get this over with.

...eh, that was okay.

Probably a little bit below "Something Big" for me, but at least it's not so boring that you totally forget how it sounds. It's got some emotion pushed into it, always a good thing. It's a decent song.

I had a bad first impression of Shawn Mendes, but now I think he's okay in my books. Nothing spectacular, but hey. It's better than what I originally thought of him.

"Cheerleader" - OMI

You know, something that used to be a big deal on the pop charts but really isn't anymore is reggae fusion.

Sure, you had "Rude" from last year, but that was really the only thing creating any buzz in the genre. So it's good to hear some new music from newer artists of this genre. This is "Cheerleader" by OMI.

Okay, so what can you say about this song? Well, it's catchy. You listen to it once and it's stuck in your head forever. But for me, that only has value if the song is any good. Is it? Well... it's not terrible, but... good god, what is up with this guy's voice?!

He sounds like a robot gradually gaining sentience and starting to sound like a human. No, wait a second! He sounds like that Eiffel 65 song.

Yeah, there it is. Just an awkward-sounding, autotune-driven voice that barely sounds human. Okay, well maybe that's going a little far. But still, the voice is unbelievably grating.

I do like the beat of this song, which brings back the laid-back vibes that reggae fusion used to have. But the song falls flat for me because of this guy's voice. I'm sorry, I can't take it. And also, this song is about how he only has the one girl for him, the apple of his eye, if you will. This is his response to other girls who are trying to get with him:

Do you need me?
Do you think I'm pretty?
Do I make you feel like cheating?
And I'm like no, not really 'cause

"No, not really"? That's the best you've got? Shouldn't it be a definitive "no"? Christ, what is it with these songs about guys who love their significant other but get it across ambiguously in the lyrics? It's gotta stop, y'all.

So like I said, the beat's fine, but if I want to listen to music like this I could just go back to the early 2000s when this stuff was more plentiful and better. Sorry OMI, but I G2G.

Flashback Friday: "Get Up and Boogie (That's Right)" - Silver Convention (1976)

You know, "boogie" isn't really a word that we use anymore. And if I had to pick one song to pin that on, it would be this one.

There's probably no song out there that makes me want to dance less than this one. It's slow, it's pathetic, and it almost sounds wishy-washy in its request.

Booogiiiieeeee

That's not a command to dance, that's saying, "h-hey, if it's not too much trouble guys, could you- could you get up and boogie? Please?"

And of course, the audience in this video responds in the exact manner you would expect: sitting still and being bored out of their skulls. This is the most lifeless audience I've ever seen, and I don't blame them. Would you dance to this? How could you dance to this? It's so slow and annoying that you can't even find a really good beat, unless you're someone's 40-something aunt who's had a glass too much of wine at the dinner party.

Every time they say "booogiiiie", I just feel sad inside. Sad that this became a hit, and sad for Silver Convention, who can't even carry the simple message of "Get Up and Boogie". How hard is that? It's not like they've been given a complex story with conflicting emotions. Just put some excitement into your voices, damn it! That's all that's required of you!

Booogiiiieeeee

Or you could just... keep doing that. Oh well. I tried to pep talk them. Silver Convention probably won't be winning any medals in the music Olympics.

That's right!

Yes, that's right.

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Slip Slide" - Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment

It's pretty cool to see that not all hope is lost with modern rap music, and the sooner we can get rid of this shit the better. So let's take a look at a really interesting song, "Slip Slide."

Something really interesting that I've noticed about modern rap music is that the subject matter is often about having fun, or being content, but the artists never sound like they're having any fun. That's why I'm honestly half-grateful for Pitbull's existence; say what you will, he knows how to party down. So it's doubly great when you can hear great artists making genuinely fun music.

The song features Busta Rhymes, B.o.B., and Chance the Rapper on the track, and each artist holds their own amidst the chorus. Chance handles the outro, which gets his point across in a simple and succinct manner. Meanwhile, Busta and B.o.B. talk about who they are and where they came from. Personally for me though, the thing that brings this whole song together is the chorus. It's just so enjoyable to listen to. The instrumentation is bangin', and everybody involved just sounds like they're having the time of their lives.

I guess what I'm saying is, stop talking about how you're having fun and actually have fun. That's the golden rule when it comes to lighthearted songs, not just rap music.

CanTunes Tuesday: "The Hills" - The Weeknd

The hills are alive with the sound of... this guy?

All right, another song from The Weeknd. This one's called "The Hills". Will it sound just as dreary and pretentious as his first big hit? Of course it will!

Oh yeah, this sounds like a joy to listen to.

I have a theory, and anyone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think people listen to The Weeknd because they think it makes them look smarter. Am I right on that? The music sounds pretentious, dark, and artsy enough to evoke that aura of "high art" but honestly it all comes crashing down when you actually listen to the lyrics.

I'm just tryin' to get you out the friendzone

You heard right. They used the word "friendzone" in a song. This song is not a joke, or a parody of modern culture. It is an honest-to-god song that we're expected to take seriously. Gag me.

That's my problem with The Weeknd: he's a dumb lyricist hiding behind a smart-sounding production. But when you put the two together, they don't mesh at all and the song doesn't work. I just don't like this guy's music. It's too dreary for me to enjoy it. It's always stuck at the same tempo and the same pitch, and I'd rather listen to many other things than this. This isn't good music to me. This is bad music masquerading as "good music".

"Bad Blood" - Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar

Taylor Swift has just gotten knocked off the #1 spot by "See You Again", which has apparently gained back enough popularity to take the #1 spot again.

Okay, I need to say this:

I defended this song in my initial review for it (you can go back and read it if you like), but god damn, is it boring. I mean, I kind of alluded to that in my review. I did say that these tribute songs have a knack for being slow and morose. But then I got back to thinking about my top 10 tribute songs list, way back in the day. And at the very top of that list, I put "Back on the Chain Gang".

Now there's a tribute song done right. You don't have to be slow and meandering for it to work. You can still be lively. In fact, that's why this song really works. Despite being about the death of a former band member, it doesn't feel like it has to slow the tempo down or be a complete downer. Not that "See You Again" is a complete downer; in fact, it has a very hopeful tone. But the two are just incomparable in their energy, their sound, and my interest in them.

Sorry, I just... I really had to get that off my chest. I treat these songs with kid gloves and I end up regretting it. Anyway, where was I?

Ah yes, "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar. A duo I never thought I would see before the release of her album 1989. Now you just look at it and think, "Yeah, sounds about right." Next she'll probably be pairing up with Kanye, and I don't mean just at an awards show either. But I digress. What's the song about?

Cause baby now we got bad blood
You know we used to be mad love

Here we go... just when you think that Taylor Swift has evolved in her lyricism, she goes and releases a song like this that can essentially fit into her earlier catalogue lyric-wise. I mean, listen to this:

So take a look what you've done
Cause baby now we got bad blood

Look what YOU'VE done. Not her. YOU. Look Taylor, you can't write a song like "Blank Space" and not expect me to come up disappointed when you throw shit like this in my face. I mean, come on! You totally should have been thinking about me when you write this.

Another thing: I support Taylor's decision to go all pop and abandon her country roots, but that's because the singles she released before this were good pop music. This just sounds... disjointed and awful. I've actually heard the original version of this song, and good god, it's a zillion times better than this production. It's like they tried to make it more badass but forgot to make it good.

The only saving grace for this song is Kendrick Lamar, who ends up slaying on the track with his flow. Which, might I add, works a hell of a lot better than Taylor's whining on the chorus. Again, her verses in the original song help to provide a counterpart to that, but here, it feels like a Kendrick Lamar song featuring Taylor Swift. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but for one of the biggest music stars right now, T-Swift should be holding her own in her songs.

Maybe I'm just biased against this because I heard the original, but yeah, I really am not liking it all that much. Kendrick's presence may help the remix, but the original trumps this in every single way. Guys, buy a copy of the album and listen for yourselves. The difference is staggering. Taylor Swift, your songs are fine the way they are now. They don't need remixed versions.

Flashback Friday: "Cathy's Clown" - The Everly Brothers (1960)

Ah, another step back to the early 60's. It's interesting to see just how digestible pop music was back then. The majority of what people got were short, catchy pop tunes that you could listen to without much thought. And yep, this is where the Everly Brothers come in.

Probably one of the most famous and influential duos in pop history, The Everly Brothers thrived on catchy hooks and short songs to keep their listeners coming back. And come back they did, with their success culminating in 1960 with their #1 hit, "Cathy's Clown".

Honestly, if we're just talkin' Everly Brothers songs, I personally prefer "Wake Up Little Susie", but that's not to say this song doesn't have charm as well. "Cathy's Clown" is understandable as a big hit; it's short and digestible, like many of the Everly Brothers songs, but also commands enough of a presence to make it memorable.

So, the song's content basically deals with a girl treating her boyfriend like crap, and talking smack about him. Enough so that people call him "Cathy's Clown". So he decides to break up with her. Simple enough premise for a song, and pop music used to be really good at getting simple messages across in short time while still sounding like a complete song. Nowadays, in the catalog of short hits, we have shit like

There's no comparison. Back in the day, even short songs could get across a narrative - or SOMETHING, at least. "Cathy's Clown" is a perfect example of that, and The Everly Brothers are a perfect example of a good old pop act.

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Got it Like That" - Pell ft. G-Eazy

You know, it's really easy to become jaded when all you do all day is listen to pop music and eat Cheetos. Actually, Cheetos are delicious. Never mind. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Modern rap music!

It's been an interesting road for rap music in 2015 so far. On the one hand, with the influence of Vine, popular rap music seems to be getting stupider. But on the other hand, a lot of these songs have some kind of charm to them and have memorability, at least. I still have that "Nasty Freestyle" song stuck in my head (unfortunately). But I guess where I'm going with this is that I'm wondering if we'll ever get any genuinely good rap music making it big on the charts again. The kind of stuff that's provocative and demands you to listen. Ladies and gentlemen, here's a song for people like me wondering the same thing.

Listen to that flow. Here's a rapper that demands your attention, and gets all of his demands satisfied. Cool as fuck.

The hook grabs you from the get-go, with its fast pace and its commanding presence. The production also helps the song's case, being strong and powerful but not taking away from the presence of the rappers. 

Lyric-wise, it's admittedly not the deepest song, but you have to admire the effort put into it, especially these days. I'm just happy to hear a song where it sounds like somebody's trying to make a good statement. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. These guys got it like that.

CanTunes Tuesday: "Energy" - Drake

Okay, so another one of Drake's songs off of his new album has been gaining buzz on the Hot 100. It's called "Energy", and honestly it's a lot stronger of a song for me than "Know Yourself", even though you could argue it's more formulaic.

I have to admit, I'm really enjoying the spoken word intros of these songs. I also enjoy Drake's music when he has sadder, slower beats behind him. This one doesn't pack as much of a punch as "0 to 100" did, but it's enough to set the mood of the song, which deals with Drake talking down his haters the way they talk down him. I think Drake is actually getting better at complaining, strangely enough.

Seriously, think about it: In "Started from the Bottom", Drake's biggest complaint about his previous life seems to be 

Traffic on the way home

Yeah, that. But here, he goes into more energy and thought regarding his past and the people that have tried to bring him down. And I guess I wouldn't call it "complaining" so much as an affirmation of one's self-worth. Definitely nothing wrong with that, especially when you've got people trying to bring you down like Drake does. People like me, I guess. Hey, I'm on your side this time, man. Don't go directin' this hate towards me.

Fuck your blog

Yeah, I still have my eye on you, Towkio. You blog-hating miscreant.

But like I said, I think "Know Yourself" is the more creative song. This one's just more aesthetically pleasing to me. It seems more focused and more controlled. I'd probably listen to this track over "Know Yourself", but both are good. I can't wait to hear what else comes from Drake's new album! And that's a sentence I never thought I would type. Seeya later!