Tuesday, October 21, 2014

CanTunes Tuesday (Flashback): "Someday" - Nickelback (2004)

...I need a moment.

Okay, now I'm ready.

Okay, nope, nope. I need another moment. Try again later.

Okay... now I'm ready... sort of. Welcome to CanTunes Tuesday, everybody! *sigh* Here's Nickelback again.



What is it about Nickelback that sends such a chill up my spine whenever I have to review them? Are they really the worst band ever? Or am I buying into the rabid anti-hype a little too much?

Well, let's take a look at the band, shall we? The band is fronted by Chad Kroeger... yeah, there's your first problem anyway.



Chad Kroeger's that guy who just wants you to LOOGADIS PHOTOGRAPH, because ERRETIMEYDOES IT MAKESIM LAFF... and that's definitely where Nickelback's problems begin. They've just got this marble-mouthed, gravelly, unpleasant singer to front them, and it's hard to look past that to see the rest of the band. But I'm going to try anyway. Let's listen to a Nickelback instrumental.


Well, I guess they're not the worst. But they're certainly not the best, either. So, just an okay band fronted by Chad Kroeger? Yeah, that's Nickelback's problem. And "Someday" is just one of the few songs that highlights this problem.

I mean, it doesn't give you time to warm up and prepare for another Nickelback song. Right away, you hear Kroeger's voice and it sours your opinion on the rest of the song. Not that it's much good to begin with, but it doesn't even give you a chance to warm up to it. So, here's what Chad Kroeger's wondering:

How the hell'd we wind up like this?

Well, I'm sure she just wanted to see other people, Chad.

Yes, this is a lamenting song about a troubled relationship. But it's okay, because Kroeger will work and fight to make this relationship last, won't he?

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now

He will, but... he just won't do it right now... come on man, I'm trying to be your PR here!

Yeah, the lyrics sound about as lazy as the band. If Chad can't bother to make an effort "right now", then when?

I know you're wondering when

My God, this is literally just a song about a lazy douchebag! I don't even need to write any jokes here; the song clearly speaks for itself.

But another thing to note about Kroger's voice is that I never believe him when he sings. And that's because I'm not sure what emotion his voice is feeling when it sings. Is he heartbroken? Angry? Apathetic? A gravelly combination of the three? That's a big problem! If you're going to take center stage, you need to make it clear what emotion your song is supposed to convey!

I don't even know what else to say. Does Nickelback deserve the threshold of hate they get? Well, maybe it's a little overblown, but I can definitely see why people got sick of Nickelback quickly. Not only were they bad back in the day, they were one of the biggest rock bands in the world. And that is a truly scary thought. Almost as scary as... Chavril.



Yeah, sorry you all had to see this.

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