CanTunes Tuesday: "House of Cards" - Tyler Shaw

Every year, MuchMusic (which is Canada's MTV equivalent, except that it actually still plays music on occasion) runs a contest sponsored by Coca-Cola where they find a new Canadian talent by picking the best cover of a song. It's... it's essentially American Idol. Only somehow less dignified. Anyway, today we're looking at one of the winners of said contest, and the first Canadian hit on the new chart in a while, Tyler Shaw.

Now I've known Tyler Shaw ever since he became Canada-famous in 2012 and released his debut single, "Kiss Goodnight". This song didn't do anything for me, but I sincerely doubt that I was the target audience for it anyway. I suppose it was rather harmless, which is really what Tyler Shaw is: a harmless artist. You know, in some ways, that can be worse than being bad. Harmless artists are unmemorable artists, and I certainly don't remember anything else this guy did.

But anyway, the man has a new single out, 'House of Cards", which is... just as peripheral and boring as the last song I heard from him! Okay, maybe it's a little different.

While "Kiss Goodnight" came off a little clumsy for me, both in the singing and the lyrics, this is a little more polished in that regard. However, the instrumentation in the background is as boring as ever. I swear I heard this exact same backing music on at least ten other songs. While "Kiss Goodnight" was clumsy. it did at least have a happy atmosphere around it and took a little bit of liberty with its production. This is seriously dull. I feel like I could have heard this song from any sort of nobody artist.

Okay, well what about the lyrics? Is there anything of substance here? The song's called "House of Cards". Well, that's always a good analogy to make up the backbone of a song. Something so meticulously assembled, but so fragile it could blow over at any second. Katy Perry used this well; could Tyler Shaw do the same?

Yeah something was missing in my house of cards
And all that I needed was the queen of my heart

Oh, puke.

Dear God, that... that line was terrible. That sounds like a line that sleazy dudes use to pick up girls at the bar! That's why you wanted to use the symbol of a house of cards? To compare yourself with that guy?

Okay, this song just went from boring to bad. I have no patience for artists that take symbols like this and just use them in a throwaway line in the chorus. When Katy Perry is crafting better lyrics than you are, you need to step back and think to yourself about what you're doing. Jesus, what a waste. I'm never drinking Coca-Cola again. At least Pepsi keeps guys like these rightfully unknown. Mmm, it's also got that refreshing taste! Just the right amount of zest and... what?

...

Drink Pepsi.

(Disclaimer: Blog not officially sponsored by Pepsi, though it is a drink deserving of praise and recognition.)