Sunday, April 5, 2015

"Somebody" - Natalie La Rose ft. Jeremih

Natalie La Rose: Who the hell...?


All right, so we've got a newcomer this time around who got big. This is Natalie La Rose with her debut single, "Somebody". Now, before we get started, listen to this chorus for a second and tell me if it reminds you of anything:

I wanna rock with somebody
I wanna take shots with somebody

That's right: it's a direct rip-off of Bryan Adams' "Somebody"! Boy, listen to that chorus and just how derivative it is. I can't believe they would rip off a living legend like Bryan Adams... what? The joke's run its course? Okay, this is a rip-off of Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody".


Well, maybe "rip-off" is a little harsh, but still, this is a pretty unimaginative chorus, isn't it? It's kinda dull too in the way it's presented. When Whitney Houston wanted to dance with somebody, man, she meant it. She would force herself onto the dance floor with somebody who loves her! But this? This just sounds like a guy passively making a request. Which probably should be the norm when it comes to clubbing, but it doesn't make for a very good song.

Also, Whitney Houston isn't the only thing this chorus rips off.

And we ain't gotta tell nobody, we ain't gotta tell nobody (nobody)


Okay, what is up with Jeremih and not wanting to disclose his sexual activities? Usually musicians can't shut up about how much they're gettin'. This guy really just wants to keep it on the down low. I mean... good for him, I guess, but you know you're the guy who made "Birthday Sex", right? I don't think you need to hide your sexual prowess, such as it is.

Oh yeah, we haven't even actually gotten to Natalie La Rose yet. But if Jeremih is eclipsing my review of your song, I'd say you've already got some problems. To be fair though, this is probably the "best" Jeremih performance I've heard, in that if I squint my ears I can make him sound like Chris Brown on an off day. But I digress. Let's get to the main artist on this track, Natalie La Rose.

Walk in, everybody know what's good

Stop. Stop. I don't even know who you are. You can't make me believe that everybody likes you. For all I know, you could be a serial killer masquerading as a pop singer! (By the way, I'm still watching you, Justin Timberlake. "Mickey Mouse Club" my ass.)

But some gonna hate, what's new?

Well, wait a second.

Walk in, everybody know what's good

Yeah, yeah. So if everybody knows what's good... why will some hate? Just... haters gonna hate, I guess? Wow, this song really is unoriginal.

Throughout the song, Natalie does nothing to convince me that she deserves a hit single. She's got a decent voice, but the beat and the lyrics do nothing for her. And then... oh god, she starts rapping.

In the club like what
We be in the party in the club like what

...where did this come from?

Why... why are you doing that? What? Why? You're not very good at it... stop it! You're hurting me! I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADUUULT!

Hey, I can be unoriginal too. Which is exactly what this song is. Unoriginal, bland, and worthless. No reason to listen to it, especially when motherfuckin' UPTOWN FUNK is still #1!


(Disclaimer: despite anything I said in my review, "Uptown Funk" is amazing.)

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