Ohh, shut up! I've still got a trick up my sleeve: now I'm going to go back and find Canadian songs from yesteryear. And what better way to start than with Paul Anka?
...There are probably a lot of better ways to start, but hey! If there's something we can thank Paul Anka for, it's being Canada's first rock and roll teen idol. Never mind that he's about as "rock and roll" as Justin Bieber, as we look at his first single, "Diana".
To be fair, that is a nice instrumental opening. But... Paul Anka really doesn't do anything for me. He's like a less edgy, more whiny Elvis Presley, and I'd definitely rather listen to Elvis than him. It's like if you had to choose between listening to a dog playing happily in the afternoon, or a dog whimpering and howling at night. Unless you're some kind of sadist, I think you'd most likely go for the former option. Paul Anka is the howling dog.
What can I say? Elvis Presley, dogs... the joke really writes itself.
I'm sorry Paul, but I just don't like your music. It rubs me the wrong way, and I can think of many other Canadian artists I'd rather be listening to.
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Not him. NOT HIM! AAAAAAAHHHHH!
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