What do you want from me, new country music? Do you want me to change my opinion on you? Well I'm sorry, it's just not going to happen! You've had enough chances, now why won't you go to time out?! Oh, Supernanny!
*sigh* If only country musicians could have a "naughty spot". Anyway, this is Frankie Ballard's "Sunshine & Whiskey".
You hit me like fire, shot me like a bullet
Burned me up and down, no way to cool it
Yeah yeah yeah, okay, this guy's so dreamy that he gets more pussy than a crazy cat lady.
Indeed. "When did country music become too much like rap music?" Crazy Cat Lady asks in her wonderful language.
You know what I'm talking about. Bragging about the amount of pussy you're getting. And I know Frankie Ballard is at least trying to hide it behind his old-style country-boy charm, but it's not working. Even though he's only with one girl, it still comes off as a bragging song rather than a love song to me.
Body like an hourglass, sand on her feet
I can't help but stare cause I got the best seat
"Hey, guys! Look at the women I interact with! They're better than the women you interact with! Or treat like objects, whichever tickles your fancy, dudes!"
The song comes off as very insincere and cloying, which is definitely two things that good country music, or any music, really, should not be. Unfortunately, that's the type of shit we're getting, so that's the type of shit I have to put up with.
But every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey
There's an obligatory alcohol reference...
Out chilling on a beach with my sweet Georgia peach
Obligatory reference to a Southern state there... say, I wonder if... nah, they wouldn't.
I was slow driving south with the top drop down
Oh, good! Right on schedule! The driving reference! God, this song is a cookie cutter of modern country music. Except for one part which somehow pisses me off even more, and it comes right after that line:
Her hair in the wind, Tom Petty up loud
Oh yes, Tom Petty! I'm sure Tom Petty is where the inspiration for this vapid hack of a song! After all, it's not like he's actually a talented songwriter or anything, and thus should not be referenced anywhere in the vicinity of this terrible song!
God, this is like if Brokencyde referenced Nirvana in a song. It doesn't work at all. (Disclaimer: Please don't tell me if Brokencyde ever references Nirvana in one of their songs, because I don't want to know. I really don't.)
Overall, I think this song is terrible. Maybe not solely because of the song itself, but definitely for what it represents: a hollowed-out cookie cutter of what a once-great genre used to be. It's a sad time for country music. *tear*
Hot 100 Success:
Will he have it?
Country music in the Top 50 is still pretty scarce. I think this guy might have enough chisel-faced charm to pull off this hit, though. *sigh*
Should he have it?
Does a bear not shit in the woods? Well, I guess there's polar bears, and panda bears, but... you get the idea! No, he shouldn't. If you'll excuse me now, I need to listen to some Johnny Cash. I strongly urge you to do the same.
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