In 2003, Beyoncé released her debut single "Crazy in Love". That single became so popular that it solidified Beyoncé as a solo artist with staying power, and broke her free of the frontwoman for Destiny's Child.
But she still kept ties with the band through 2004, as they scored two more top ten hits with "Lose My Breath" and "Soldier". I'll be focusing on the former today.
...
I don't like Beyoncé.
Yeah, I said it! I think she's massively overrated and worse, massively full of herself. And those two components are a dangerous combination. People always poke fun at Kanye West for being full of himself, and don't get me wrong, it's well-deserved. But nobody ever seems to target Beyoncé for the same thing. Why, just look at these lyrics from "Irreplaceable":
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute
Wow, Beyoncé! Thank you for taking this breakup extremely well, just because you're Beyoncé!
And with my opinion of Beyoncé as a whole in mind, we venture into "Lose My Breath". This song is stupid.
It starts off okay, I guess, with a powerful, sexually driven chorus. But then we get into the verses, and I just start tuning out.
Oooooooh
I put it right there, made it easy for you to get toooooooo
Now you wanna act like ya don't know what to doooooooo
After I done everything that you asked me
Grabbed you, grind you, liked you, tried you
Moved so fast baby now I can't find you
Incompetent male! You are no match for the towering she-wolf that is Beyoncé!
No, seriously. Look at the next part of the verse.
Oooooooh
I'm startin' to believe that I'm way too much for yoooooou
All that talk but it seems like it can't come throoooooough
All them lies like you could satisfy me,
Now I see where believing you got me
Gave you the wheel, but you can't drive me
Yep. And the subtext makes its way into the text. And uh, this song just got a whole less sexy and a lot more disappointing. Another thing about Beyoncé is she seems to make it a point to trash any man she can get in any of her songs. And let's not beat around the bush here, okay? Destiny's Child songs are Beyoncé songs, much like Black Eyed Peas songs are will.i.am/Fergie duets.
Basically, this song is the angriest one night stand ever. But hey, that's just one verse. Surely the other two girls of Destiny's Child can deliver. Here's Kelly:
Oooooooh
Two things I don't like when I tryin' to get my groooooove
Is a partna that meets me only half way and just can't proooooove
Take me out so deep when you know you can't swim
Wait, that was only one thing. You just went into a different part of the verse without the second thing... oh, just forget it.
Need a lifeguard and I need protection
You... need protection? Like, as in condoms? Did this guy knock you up? Highly unlikely, since spilling this narrative would cause any mood to go down.
To put it on me deep in the right direction
The right direction? What, is he going butt first?
Didn't mama teach you to give affection?
...
Didn't mama teach you to give affection?
Oedipus called, and even he's grossed out. Michelle? Slay me. Please.
If you can't make me say ooh
Like the beat of this drum
Drums don't go "ooh". I don't know what instrument you have a drum confused with.
They give her five lines, and two of them are the same as two others. Bravo, Michelle. Star power, right there.
Fuck this song. It's not sexy, it's not enjoyable, it's not anything except a hot mess. Only one thing left to say:
Baby you are dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed
Gladly, I'm out.
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