Well, if you don't count the time I talked about The Beatles on a Monday Musing, that is... and the time I made a Top Ten List of their songs... but look! A Beatles Flashback Friday! That's something new! So, what the hell is the deal with "Yellow Submarine"? Intended originally for children, the song has gained many different political and social interpretations, even though it's pretty much nonsense. Lennon actually addressed this phenomenon later by writing "I Am the Walrus", another intentionally nonsensical song, but this time, designed specifically to mess with those people's heads. But what made "Yellow Submarine" such a hot topic for analysis in the first place? Well, I think part of it has to do with the fact that The Beatles were known for smart lyrics, rather than nonsense songs such as this one. That made people want to find out what they were missing, because this song couldn't possibly be meant to be taken at face value... right? Obviously people were too stupid for The Beatles! I mean, look at this seeming nonsense! Yellow submarine? It's obviously much deeper than the surface! (It is a submarine, after all.) It's obviously about The Beatles' hardships! Or drugs! Or the police! Or... maybe it's just a goofy children's song. Sorry, boys. Sometimes a spade is just a spade, and sometimes a yellow submarine is just a yellow submarine. Unless it's a magic school bus. Then all bets are off. And in the interest of leaving you guys with a slightly more exciting song meant for children, why not the Magic School Bus theme song? Take it away, Little Richard!
I mean, this cannot possibly be an up-and-coming hit, can it? There's no way that this song is breaking and entering! *sigh* But once I stop living in my fantasy world, I come to grips with this song and the apparent impact it's having on our youth of today. So, what's the theme of this song? What's the chorus? No flex zone, no flex zone They know better, they know better Okay, so you're not allowed to "flex" where Rae Sremmurd are, in other words, no boasting or bragging. Do you think someone might have gotten their feelings hurt after someone else showed off their rapping skills, putting that first someone to shame? Seems to me like that's exactly what happened. I mean, I've heard some bad rap songs, but this delivery is just weak. He sounds drunk off his ass, and he sounds like he's never rapped before in his life. Won a gold medal And a gold bezel I treat it so special Now your ho jealous Okay, ignoring the fact that "jealous" is a bad rhyme... isn't this bragging? Aren't you breaking your own rule? It's like if God committed adultery or something. But of course, I guess that Rae Sremmurd aren't subject to the mere mortal's rules. For they are the gods of rap! Okay, I was sarcastic enough in my Wednesday post a few weeks ago, I don't need more here. Just a bad, worthless song throughout. Even by today's standards, it's weak. I mean, I hated "Lifestyle", but as annoying as they were, they at least had a sense of delivery. This chorus is just amateurish garbage. Nothing to "flex" about, in other words. Hot 100 Success: Will they have it? Eh, it's possible they'll have a little success, but really, I'd like to think that the public has more discriminating taste than this pile of junk. Should they have it? NO flex zone. NO.
Holy crap, more Canadian country? Well, maybe country music didn't die off; maybe it just went north.
Actually, that's kind of a weak assumption. You see, the Canadian Hot 100 also includes international songs, so sometimes I have to search fairly far back in order to find a Canadian song actually on the Canadian chart. Kind of sad, but I've learned to deal with it. For example, if you look at the Billboard charts today, you'd see that the #1 song in Canada, for God knows what reason, is the latest Maroon 5 snoozefest "Maps". The highest-charting song by a Canadian artist is Kiesza's "Hideaway", which I've already reviewed. It's hard when you start running out of ammo, but as long as I can find at least something, I should be okay. Anyway, here's what I've found today: yet another country song. And this one's pretty good, too. Which is surprising to me, because here's where I know Dallas Smith from:
He's the lead singer of Default. A Canadian rock band that made it big with this song and not much else. Default's okay, I guess, but not one of my favourite bands. Sometimes they can be a bit boring. So I wouldn't expect the lead singer to go country and make me like him more at the same time. But... here we are. I don't know what it is about Canadians and country music, but they just seem to get it. Which is odd, because when you think of country, you typically think down south, not up north. But while I've liked both country songs that I've heard from Canada this year, I haven't liked very many from down south. Can I just relate to these guys better, somehow? Is that it? Maybe it's not so much that I can relate to them better, but that they're just better lyricists. I mean, look at this: You like a cherry on top a red striped straw in a Coca Cola classic I like a little whiskey kick hitting my lips in the red solo plastic Essentially, he's just singing about the same things most country singers do: girls and alcohol. But it's clever here. I like how he rhymes "classic" with "plastic", I like that he's a little more playful with his wordplay, I even like the shameless Coca Cola plug. I like it all. So, buck up, Americans. Why can't you be more country like us? Yee-haw! I'm off to ride into the sunset. Giddyup, couch!
If someone had told me last year that the breakout star of 2014 would be a rapping Australian white girl, I would have told them that they were crazy. But it's 2014, and here we are. And really, given the lack of talent that most rappers have these days, I guess Iggy Azalea deserves a place about as much as anyone. ... But God damn it, does she have to put on that phony accent? That accent is what's been causing some controversy around this rapper. People have accused her of being fake and even being racist. Meanwhile, I just listen to it and I accuse her of being annoying. The accent's not a good fit for her, because it's so obviously put-on and it makes me question her claims such as "first thing's first, I'm the realest". You're the "realest"? You're not even rapping with your own accent! Now Iggy has gone on record to defend herself and her accent, saying that the way she raps is not a big deal, and that she is an artist for adapting her voice to sound different. Whether you agree with those statements or not, Iggy isn't going away anytime soon, so it looks like I have to continue to deal with this. Something I SHOULDN'T have to deal with however, is lame-ass music videos. I don't care, I don't care, I-G-G-Y needs to get to the S-O-N-G SONG. So, after a minute and forty-three seconds of that nonsense, we finally get to the song. And... the first part isn't bad. Of course, the first part isn't Iggy. It's Rita Ora, who delivers a nice hook for the opening. This beat is pretty rockin' too. And then... This twisted cat and mouse game always starts the same First we're both down to play then somehow you go astray You know, the lyrics here actually aren't bad, but I cannot get past that fake accent. It sours my opinion of Iggy through and through. And that's a damn shame, because Iggy shows promise with her lyrics. You were different from my last but now you got it mirrored And as it all plays out I see it couldn't be clearer I just really wish she didn't have the accent. I fear that it's gonna haunt me on every song she does, but it's the accent she chose, so... looks like I'll just have to prepare myself for more. This is at least better than "Fancy", though. Rita Ora seems comfortable with the hook, and the beat is a thousand times better. What I'm saying is, this would be a great Iggy song if Iggy Azalea wasn't here, I guess. Sorry, I-G-G-Y, but I'm D-O-N-E for now.
Boy, you make one silly typo and you're in a whole other era of music. ANYWAY... welcome back to Flashback Friday. Lat's take things back to the Beastie Boys...
Um... I mean The Beach Boys, with their song, "California Girls", a song about how the Beach Boys want to take every single girl in America and move them all down to California, which would undoubtedly create a major population density problem, and as such is probably a terrible idea. What are you thinking, boys? As far as I can tell, the boys are thinking with their dicks. They love all these different qualities about different women on different areas of the country, but they want them all in a place that can make them all shine, I guess. In other words, they wish all the girls could be California girls. ...and that's it. Simple song for a simple time, I guess? What were others releasing in 1965?
Uh-huh...
Okay...
Okay, yeah, simple song for a simple time. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. Who says pop music has to be serious all the time? Certainly not me. The Beach Boys were known for their sweet harmonizing and fun-loving, sunshiny melodies, so I don't expect much else from them other than this. Also, the Barenaked Ladies song about Brian Wilson is awesome. That's all for today.
So, how does this up-and-coming country song in America stack up against the Canadian country song I reviewed yesterday that will probably never see the light of day in America? Well, this one's a lot more authentically "new country", if you get my drift.
All right, am I just being a little cynical? I mean, there's nothing wrong with a little party music, right? God knows LMFAO wouldn't have a career without it. Actually... maybe that alone should outweigh its plusses? All right, truth be told, I've never had a huge problem with LMFAO. They weren't great, but they never really offended me. So, what offends me about bro-douchey country music? I think it's the lack of self-awareness more than anything. Bro-country doesn't appear to realize how stupid it sounds. I always thought LMFAO was half-parody, but modern country music always seems blissfully unaware of how terrible it really is. It's enough to piss me off. So, how bad is this country song? It's not terrible, but it is kind of boring. I've heard this type of music many times, and this is just a 5/10 example of it. It doesn't do anything memorable, unlike the last country song I reviewed. It isn't original, unlike the last country song I reviewed. And it doesn't make me want to go back and listen to it again, unlike the last country song I reviewed. It's an utterly pointless song to me. Okay, there is one part I like: If you got some room for a little regret, Let me know girl I've already left That's admittedly kind of funny, even if it isn't on purpose. But at least it's something to say about this song, which is something I'm really grasping at straws to do. Is it any wonder that people are getting tired of country music? I sure am. Hot 100 Success: Will he have it? Who in country has had success so far this year? Florida Georgia Line, maybe? Can't think of anyone else. The future doesn't look bright for this man, is what I'm saying. Should he have it? No. That Canadian guy should, though. Bobby Wills for breakthrough country artist of 2014! Who's with me? No one? Okay... rubes.
Really? A double negative? Right there, in the title? That's what I'm getting now?
Really, Bobby Wills? Really? Really? Any-hoo, I've posted about country songs more than a few times, but I don't believe I've covered a Canadian country artist yet. So you know what, maybe this'll be interesting! Canadian country. What's in store here? If I never told you, if I never showed you If I never shouted from the rooftops how I felt about you baby Wait a minute! Actual sincere love in a modern country song? Well, dust off my boots, I'm excited. Maybe even excited enough to forgive that double negative. I never didn't love you Ehh... it'll take some time, I suppose. But seriously, this is great! As far as I can tell, it's a song that stresses the importance of never leaving it assumed that you love your significant other. And it works as a love song. A cute one, at that. I always loved the way you made me feel big and strong Opening a little jar It's the little things in this song that make it so worthwhile. Have you ever heard a country song, or any song for that matter, poking fun at men who feel big and strong by opening jars for their wives? This song is special in that way. And in an era where a majority of the country music is crappy bro-douchey shit, this shines all the more. My cowboy hat's off to you, Bobby Wills. Just... watch it with the double negatives, okay? We won't have no problems then.
So long as society dumps body issues onto women, there will be a need for songs like this. Irritatingly catchy songs like this.
This is Meghan Trainor, a fairly new addition to the music world that just broke into the mainstream with her newest single "All About That Bass". No treble. As far as I can tell, "bass" means "booty" and "treble" means... "small booty"? Whatever. As it stands, the song is incredibly uplifting. The song could have easily gone too far and resorted to skinny-shaming, and it almost does that. But then it retracts itself. I'm bringing booty back, go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that No I'm just playing. I know you think you're fat But I'm here to tell ya every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top It's very smart, the way it's played out. It's very aware of other people, even down to the music video, where it actually has guys dancing with the girls. That's pretty inclusive. This song and video are unlike anything I've seen before, in that regard. It's something I think everyone needed. And the song's as bootylicious as it suggests, with the doo-wop beat and the general flow of the song. It makes you want to be all about that bass and kick that treble right out the door. Hmm, I may have taken the metaphor a little too far. Regardless, great song, great message.
Hello again, guys! Such an abrupt announcement has really got me thinking. And the truth is, I love this blog. Well, most of it. And that's why instead of completely retiring, I've now decided to only retire the categories that are honestly feeling more like chores than fun. They are: Monday Musings, Top 10 Thursday, and Weekend Wrap-up. This still leaves you with a current song on Sunday, a Canadian song on Tuesday, a Heatseekers song on Wednesday, and a flashback on Friday. I apologize for my sporadic attitude, but hey, that's life, huh? One minute you make a decision then the next you regret it. When I started out doing this blog I felt I wasn't doing enough, and when I introduced the 7-day schedule, it was manageable for a while, but soon I found that I was just running out of topics for Monday and Thursday, and the news segment was getting quite monotonous. But I've consistently loved just reviewing songs, which is really what this blog should be about. I feel like I've finally got the perfect schedule. Thank you all for your patience, and I hope this whirlwind of a day doesn't deter you from continuing to read my blog. I'm not dead yet. I just needed to lose some weight. Hey, that metaphor worked out better than I thought it would. Yeah, I still got it. Seeya tomorrow!
Hi guys! I think it's about time that I hang this blog up and move on. I've had a lot of fun doing it, but it's time to do other things with my life. I'd like to thank anybody that stopped to read it, even if it was just one time only. It meant a lot to me to know that somebody cared enough to read what I have to say. Thanks again, and enjoy the rest of your lives!
