...
Yaaaaay.
It's February, and I am once again left alone without anybody by my side. But when I'm feeling down, what I like to do is read poorly written sex fantasies detailing abusive relationships and faux-BDSM. I mean, that's what I have the Internet for. But apparently we've also got this book named after not one, not two, but fifty shades of grey. Probably forty of which I couldn't distinguish between. But whatever. Before we get to the song, we have to talk about the book.
Fifty Shades of Grey is a book written by British author E.L. James in 2011. It shows a blossoming romance between college graduate Anastasia Steele and businessman Christian Grey. (Spoiler alert: THE NAME IS IRONIC.) It's been a best-seller since its publishing in 2012, and has gone on to both stimulate and horrify reading audiences everywhere.
I say "horrify" because some of the passages described in the book, as well as the general tone, have been said to invoke rape culture and unhealthy relationships. Now, having never actually read this book myself (Spoiler: I'M NOT THE TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC), I can't entirely judge fairly on these claims. But I can judge unfairly, just like any other critic! So here's my knee-jerk reaction: Fifty Shades of Grey is a clumsily written and morally questionable piece of literature that distorts greatly the ideas of BDSM and consent, and deserves the backlash it gets. There we go. Flock to me, right-thinking people!
All right, enough of this. So you've got an idea of the book, and why it's so controversial. Well, now they're making a movie about it, and we've got just the person for the job of the soundtrack!
Forget the book, that hair should be outlawed. Okay, what were we talking about?
Okay, so The Weeknd (Weakened or Weekend? How do you pronounce that?) has written a song that will be on this movie's soundtrack, called "Earned It". Ooh, set that entitlement tone early, buddy. What, are you gonna put on a fedora next?
Okay, it's not fair to judge a song by its title. So let's listen in.
So The Weeknd's thing is doing these dark, sultry songs that are guaranteed to get the libido going. And this is no exception, in that it sounds like the rest of his damn songs.
If you like this guy's shtick, then, well, good for you, I can't stop you there. But I feel like I don't like this as much as I should. There's something about this guy's voice that makes the song stop being sexy and focus on being whiny. Half the time it sounds like he's singing through his nose. Not exactly the best choice.
The other musical choices work to the song's advantage, admittedly. They help to set the tone a hell of a lot better than The Weeknd's voice does. But The Weeknd's voice is ultimately why I can't get into the song. It just... doesn't fit. If he sang at a bit of a higher register, he'd almost have this Adam Levine thing going on. Man, imagine if Adam Levine sang a dark-sounding sex song like this...
Oh right, we already got that, and it was terrible. Never mind!
I suppose the mismatched tone of this song will fit well with the muddled mess of the story, but I can't say that this song has convinced me to go see this movie. Of course, it would take a lot to convince me to go see this movie, but that's beside the point. This song is mostly just... ehhh. Kind of like how I feel about February. Thank god it's the shortest month.
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