Sunday, February 1, 2015

"I Don't Mind" - Usher ft. Juicy J

Today, we're looking at a smooth, sultry pop singer known by the name of... Usher.



Okay, and now that everyone's panties have sufficiently melted, we can talk about his music. Now as far as these types of singers go, Usher's probably one of the best, able to go from fun and flirty to heartbroken and remorseful in a millisecond. Which begs the question: What type of song do we have here?



Shawty, I don't... mind
If you dance on a pole
That don't make you a hoe

Um... okay! What we have here is Usher letting his woman freely do what she wants in order to make money! Why she would need to make money when she's with Usher is a whole other question, but maybe she's just doing it to show off her sexual prowess. In any case, Usher's a pretty understanding guy for not even getting the slightest bit mad about this.


Go make that money, money, money
Your money, money, money

Okay, that's a little goofy-sounding. But it still gets the message across, so who am I to judge? (Honestly, I'm judging him a little harder for using the word "shawty" in 20 freakin' 15.)


Yeah, I'm gonna be honest: I thought this was gonna be corny, and in some parts it is, it really is, but... at the same time, I'm really digging this! You don't get many guys writing songs showing empathy for strippers. Usually all you get is Chris Brown's shit-spewing about "disloyal hoes" or whatever his wretched topic of the day is. It's nice to see Usher come in and up the class-o-meter of R&B by a bit.

Now, who can we get to bring that down by several notches?

(From "Dark Horse")

She's a beast, I call her Karma
She eats your heart out like Jeffrey Dahmer

Yeah, hi Juicy J. You weren't missed.

I’m just tryna cut her up, tryna bust a nut
Tryna take somebody bitch, turn her to a slut

Yeah, uh... context, Juicy. Context. How does this fit into the current narrative... oh my God. Are you stealing Usher's girl right now?

Throw some hundreds on that ass, walk her out the club
Lap dance for the first date
Bet I threw a few bands, that’s third base

Oh, he's one of those guys that thinks that strippers really like him! Um... yeah. No, Juicy. They like your money. Which Usher probably has more of anyway, so you're outclassed even by that.

Why Juicy J is on this track I can't fathom. He does nothing to get the message across, or even take it on a new turn. He's just got his own story that vaguely relates to Usher's, but is far less interesting. Usher deserves to stand alone, and that's definitely what should have happened here.

So... final verdict? Yeah, I still like the song. Juicy J isn't enough to completely ruin it, but his absence would definitely have been to the song's benefit. As is, though? I don't mind. Go make that money, Usher, as long as you come back and make more hits.

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