Flashback Friday: "Cry Me a River" - Justin Timberlake (2003)

Okay, so we've covered Justin Timberlake here before. His new stuff, his old stuff. Well, let's look at more of his old stuff today. Sorry, this is Flashback Friday.

Ah yes, "Cry Me a River" - one of the most disgustingly whiny songs ever written. I like a lot of Justin's music, there's some I'm a little more ambivalent on. But this, this straight up fucking blows.

Just... everything about this song is so annoying. It's got these douchey lyrics, this high-pitched warbling coming from Justin, it's all just a big ball of annoyance.

Now I get the message of this song, and Justin has every right to be upset with the girl he's with, because she cheated on him. Perfectly logical. so why can't I accept this song for what it is? I mean, he's just being sensitive, right? In touch with his emotions?

..okay, fine, but does he have to be so irritatingly bland about it?

Look, Beyoncé's song "Irreplaceable" puts her in the winner's chair most definitely. It's a triumphant breakup song. While I do think it goes a little too far in that regard, at least Beyoncé can pull it off. Justin's warbling of "cry me a river, cry me a river" does nothing to elevate his status in this relationship. He sounds way too weak and limp for a guy telling a girl it's their turn to cry.

That's the real problem with this song: it's way too milquetoast to justify its existence. Maybe if it hit harder, like - I can't believe I'm saying this - *NSYNC's "I Want You Back", then we might feel for Justin. He could be angrier, or prouder, or hell, he could be whinier. Despite how whiny I said the song is, that really only comes through in the chorus's lyrics. Justin plays it off like it's nothing, which is definitely the wrong move.

I'd like to say that I like the production work on this song, but... honestly, this is one of Timbaland's more muddled beats. The guitar and beats don't work together like they did so well in The Neptunes' "Like I Love You" beat. And no, Timbaland getting in on the vocal work doesn't help either.

The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving

Timbaland: we know you exist: You're in the goddamn video. Your beats are usually on point. You don't need to keep reminding us of your existence by punching in to one of the most personal songs Timberlake could write. I mean, yeah, he doesn't help his case either, but it's not like you're really providing anything.

I don't know, I don't mind Timbaland's interjections on "SexyBack", because he kind of just rolls along with Justin's cool persona and it works. But this? He's emoting even less than Timberlake, which is a further detriment to the song and is distracting.

So... cry me a river, boys. I hate this song. The damage is done, so I guess I'll be leaving. Sorry.