I mean, I hate this. I really, really really hate this. I used to weep for the Canadian music that makes its way across the border, but lately I've been realizing that the music that stays here can be just as bad, if not worse.
Well, I guess "stay here" isn't exactly accurate. The song has charted rather highly in Australia and New Zealand as well, but I really doubt many Americans know about these guys. Well, here's a little backstory: This is Nasri Atweh.
I've honestly never heard of the guy before doing this review, but apparently he's written and produced a lot of hit songs. Like this one:
Yep, you have this guy to thank for one of the stupidest songs of 2013. Anyway, in 2013 he also founded a pop-reggae band called MAGIC! At The Disco (not really, but it could get them sued, which I would be in favour of). No, the band's just called MAGIC!, but it's just as annoying. And here we are with their first single, "Rude".
Why you gotta be so rude?
Actually, that's a good point, Nasri. Why do I have to be so rude? It's just a song, after all. I shouldn't get too offended by it, should I? Well, let me tell you about a trend that needs to die off for good. Asking your girlfriend's father for his blessing to get married. That's some Romeo & Juliet shit up in there, seriously. And it's also what the song is all about.
You see, the person that is actually being "rude" is the father, for saying no, you can't marry my daughter. Hey, here's a thought. Did anyone think to ask the daughter in all this commotion?
I mean, doesn't she get a say in this matter? Is she even in the vicinity where this is happening? She pops up at the end of the video, but that's about it. Somehow I feel like it would be hilarious if the girl rejected him as well, because... well, the guy comes off as kind of a whiny douche.
Why you gotta be so rude?
Don't you know I'm human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I'm gonna marry her anyway
But... then why would you ask in the first place?
Knocked on your door with heart in my hand
To ask you a question
'Cause I know that you're an old-fashioned man, yeah, yeah
Okay, he's got old-fashioned values, but it still does no good to blow off his answer... wait, what's that first line?
Knocked on your door with heart in my hand
With... heart in your hand? Okay, isn't the expression "heart on your sleeve"? I just get the impression of you grasping a human heart in your hand, blood gushing down your wrist onto the poor guy's front porch. I think I'm beginning to understand why he doesn't want you marrying his daughter.
Of course, it doesn't matter what he says, because as I said before, his response is
I'm gonna marry her anyway
What's the point of this song? It's just a guy being a pissy jackoff to his girlfriend's already uptight father. I mean, if you love her and she loves you, then yes. You should get married. But this song reads like you're rubbing it in his face, and if you're not careful, it might seem like the only reason you're getting married.
I hate to do this, you leave no choice
I can't live without her
Love me or hate me we will be both
"We will be both"? Okay, quit it with these awkward phrases. No one says that, and it doesn't even make sense. I know you probably think this is how those craaaaazy reggae people talk, but they have a better grasp on the English language than you ever will.
God, this sucks. Between the faux-Jamaican accent, the passive-aggressive narrator, and the stupid, stupid wording, this just has incompetence written all over it. Also, I hate to say it, but judging by this guy's previous work, he's always kind of been terrible. Either that, or he just picks terrible artists to work with. Justin Bieber and Chris Brown? If your taste in girls is as bad as your taste in music artists, then I don't think she's worth getting into a tizzy with her father over. Also it's not worth writing a song about. Please stop writing music. Thank you!
Why you gotta be so rude?
Well, I suppose it's my calling. Sorry it had to be this way.
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