So, here's the premise of Watch-for-it Wednesday: There's a chart on the Billboard website called "Heatseekers Songs". These are songs by artists who have not yet cracked the Top 50 of the Billboard Hot 100, but are gaining in popularity all the same. Over time, many of the artists who top the charts do become popular, such as Ke$ha, LMFAO, and Luke Bryan to name a few. So as I look at the present and the past, I find it's only fitting to cast my third eye on the future of pop songs. Yeah, I have a third eye. It's fairly useful. So here's the first song, "19 You + Me" by Dan + Shay!
Oh, good. Another pop "country" song.
Okay, rant time. Let's see here: In the vast homogenization of different genres to create an eventual world where all music will sound like current Maroon 5 with Harry Styles on vocals... I feel as though country music has taken the biggest hit this. Take a look at this song that was a big contender for my Worst Of list last year.
See, why should you only take one genre into the gutter, when you can bring two along for the ride? Haha, hahahaha... fuck this song.
But despite the many flaws with "Cruise", not least of which is the fact that it dulls country music and rap music, it's not really indicative of what I'm talking about. So why bring it up? Because I just thought I'd let you know that "Cruise" sucks. But really, what I'm talking about with country music is something more along the lines of this:
This is a shit song. The reason it's shit is because of the opening lines:
I got that real good feel good stuff
Up under the seat of my big black jacked up truck
Rollin' on 35s
Pretty girl by my side
You got that sun tan skirt and boots
Waiting on you to look my way and scoot
Your little hot self over here
Girl hand me another beer, yeah!
Now, see if you can spot the three main themes of country music these days. Did you say "trucks, girls, and beer"? Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
People complain about rap music for being too generic these days, and they're not wrong, not by a long shot. But there are still rap songs that stand out today. I can't say the same for country music. Country music these days falls into three different categories:
1. Barely-country pop music sludge like "Cruise"
2. Shitty truck beer girl repeat ad nauseam like "That's My Kind of Night"
3. The sometimes tolerable cutesy love song from dreamy-looking guy(s), which "19 You + Me" falls into
Wow, that was a lot of ranting. But this is the first current country song I'm reviewing, so I had a lot to get off my chest. So, how does this song fare?
Watchin' that blonde hair swing
To every song I'd sing
You were California beautiful
I was playin' everything but cool
Ehh, it's okay.
What can I say? They don't do much to stand out, and that's probably why they haven't quite broken through yet. I'm sure they will eventually, because they've got cute faces when they're not contorting them into squished tomatoes to belt out their vocals.
Yeah, exactly. But even though these guys seem relatively harmless... actually, no. That's the problem. They're harmless to the music industry. There's nothing new or innovative here. Look, these guys seem nice and I'm sure they'll do fine. But I just don't have any use for this song. Maybe we need more lovey-dovey country songs to pretty girls. I don't know. I'm not one. Well, maybe I am pretty. But that's not for anyone to judge. Moving on...
Billboard Success:
Will they have it?
Sure they will. 2014's been lacking in the country department so far. Maybe these guys are the second coming of Hunter Hayes.
Should they have it?
Ehh, I don't think they're anything special. This just isn't my style of music, and it doesn't have subject matter I can identify with. I'm gonna say "no". There's just not much there for me.
And that's my Watch-for-it Wednesday! Tune in tomorrow for yet another alliteratively charming name for a segment!
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