Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Mmm Yeah" - Austin Mahone ft. Pitbull

WE ALREADY HAVE A JUSTIN BIEBER!



Who thought Austin Mahone was a good idea? Do we really need another guy for the tweenage girl who doesn't know any better audience? Was this really necessary? Hmm?

Okay, seriously, listen to how freakin' skeevy this guy is:

But she turned away
As she walked
All that I can say was
Mmm mmm yeah yeah
Mmm mmm yeah yeah

So basically, he's the 18-year-old white boy equivalent of this:



Okay, I thought we learned our lesson with J-Biebs, everyone's favourite orange jumpsuit model. Or was that Chris Brown? Anyway, this guy's still not on the top half of the charts yet, but he's gaining ground fast. To his credit, this song is really catchy. To my dismay, it's also really, really, really, really stupid. Oh, did I mention it features Pitbull of all people?

Mmm mmm yeah yeah
She look so good but she bad bad
You can see that back from the front front
Booty like Kriss Kross, jump jump

Okay, Pitbull. Buddy. Pal. Compadre. Just because your douchebag friend tells you that a Kris Kross  reference is what you should go for doesn't mean you should take his advice! Whatever Austin Mahone does wrong in this song, Pitbull does wrong times a hundred.

There's just nothing here, except an 18-year-old boy and a 33-year-old man-child taking turns drooling over a woman's body. That is quite literally how I'm picturing Mahone during this song, what with his "mmm mmms" and "yeah yeahs".

All right, this is a bust. Let's just skip to the big questions:

Billboard Success:

Will he have it?

Even with Justin Bieber's lack of hits since 2012, I don't think this guy is going to be the heartthrob to replace him. Everything about him just screams "wannabe" to me. Maybe he'll get this one hit, but I don't really see him becoming big.

Should he have it?

He's an average singer, and I don't think he's a particularly gifted songwriter either. Mmm mmm nope nope.

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