And to make matters worse, he's trying to ruin all musical instruments one by one! He ruined the saxophone in "Talk Dirty", the recorder in "Wiggle" (though to be fair, that one was already ruined for me by having to practice it in elementary school, but I digress), and now the trumpet in "Trumpets"!
As is par for the course with Jason Derulo, this is another sleazy R&B song reducing the women Jason Derulo has sexual affairs with to a pile of meat. Seriously, listen to the lyrics. Not one of them goes much deeper than:
Every single one of them is a... for lack of a better term, let's say a "compliment"... on this woman's physical anatomy. And I really shouldn't be angry at this point, but I am. Because this one actually sounds like Jason Derulo is trying to make this into a love song. There's the quiet piano opening, and then there's Jason trying to create sweet-sounding vocals. (Spoiler: He fails miserably.) And it never crosses into a purposefully sleazy-sounding song like "Talk Dirty or "Wiggle". In this way, I think this is actually the worst of the three, because it shows more than either of the previous two just how incompetent Jason Derulo is at writing anything to fit the mood he's trying to create.
And it would be one thing if these shallow "compliments" actually made sense. But I really hope you don't give Derulo more credit than he deserves.
Is it weird that your ass
Remind me of a Kanye West song?
Kanye West song
What the hell...?
So I looked it up on Rap Genius, and apparently the song he's referencing is "Amazing". That's not funny. That's needlessly complicated. What else you got, Derulo?
Is it weird that your bra
Remind me of a Katy Perry song?
Okay, stop that right there. First off, did you seriously run out of compliments for her body, so now you're moving on to her lingerie? Even for you, that's trying very little. Second, again, what the hell are you talking about?!
"Part of Me"? "California Gurls"? "Firework"? "Teenage Dream"?! Oh my God, I'm not wasting any more time on this.
Every time that you get undressed
I hear symphonies in my head
Wow, that's right up there with "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" as one of the most romantic opening lines in history. Seriously, he's not even trying to hide his hollow lust! Look at this next line:
I wrote this song just looking at you
Just looking at you. Not listening to you, or trying to understand you, or even loving you. Just looking at you.
(I apologize to any Casablanca fans.)
Slowly, Jason Derulo is actually regressing, which I didn't think was possible, but here we are. This is Derulo's worst song yet, and now I don't even have any hope out for the notion that they can't get worse. I'm now certain that Derulo has the power to make it happen. And with great power, apparently, comes great douchebaggery. And bad music. And out-of-place trumpets. Seriously, get out of the song. you're only hurting your reputation. Uggh.
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