No, I don't think Classified's necessarily a bad rapper, but he sure doesn't do much for me. He's goofy, but he's not goofy enough. It's like if Macklemore recorded "Thrift Shop" and it just went "I shop at a thrift store, I buy things, it costs less so yay me." He has had his fair share of serious songs, but they get overshadowed by songs like this:
If you don't feel silly singing this chorus, well, then I guess we don't share any DNA.
Between his songs about pay day and his songs about ninjas, I'm a little confused on how to receive his newest single, "Higher", a song where he decides to do something he hasn't done before: sound like every other hip hop artist.
Yep, that's Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher" on the chorus. That song had an aura of class to it, an aura of coolness. What does Classified do with it?
Know when I'm feeling down and out I'm feeling out of commission
I call you up in a minute you come on over I hit it
Well, there you go. "I have sex with this girl." Right in the text.
I was the one that said he's never going to do it but did it
Yeah your love is addictive without the hugging and kissing
"To add to my previous statement, I hate displays of affection that don't involve sex." We're off to a good start.
The rest of Classified's verse isn't very noteworthy, save for this line:
I'll love you 'till you're gone and you're nothing but ashes
You're smoking girl
Did... did you just try and turn cremation into a compliment? God, what was the first draft?
I'll love you til you're gone and there's nothing but a tombstone
You're my rock
Okay, let's stop thinking about that line before I creep myself out.
And that's my problem with Classified. His lyrics are barely interesting enough for analysis, but also silly enough that you can't take him seriously. He's the worst of both worlds.
Thankfully, on this track is also B.o.B., a well-known American rapper who I actually really like. In addition to just seeming like an all-around genuine nice guy, he's also got a fun personality and a great flow. So maybe he's here to show Canadians how rap is done. We used to have a handle on it. Let's see what he does with his verse.
Well, my mind is in lift when the climate is this
You give me the type of high the type of high I will miss
When you light up I can't explain how much excitement I get
Ugh, boring. BORING. Maybe this would be better if B.o.B. actually sounded as excited as the lyrics convey him to be, but here he just sounds bored. Is there going to be nothing worthwhile here, either?
Travel to California, I catch a flight for your scent
I'm sorry, you do what now?
Travel to California, I catch a flight for your scent
O...kay. Seems kind of over-the-top and stalker-ish, but... okay. What is she even doing in California? Is she taking a vacation from you? Does this girl even want to be with you? Also, back up to Classified's verse.
I love the way that you taste and leave your scent on my clothes
This... this girl must have some scent, if it's worth catching a flight for and mentioning in two different rapper's verses.
Well, say this for those lines: At least it gives the song something interesting. Yeah, this is a song about a girl with a distinct scent. The scent of love. Or Chanel No. 5. It could be Chanel No. 5.
You know, even for Classified, this song is a waste. He might be a goofball most of the time, but hey. I'll take it over this. He even managed to make B.o.B. boring. B.o.B! The guy who collaborated with Rivers Cuomo in 2010!
Here's to Maestro Fresh-Wes making a comeback sometime soon. Until then, get your act together, Canadian hip hop.
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