Watch-for-it Wednesday: "Red Lights" - Tiësto

So, Tiësto.

You know, sometimes an artist can hook you in with a different-sounding name, and then they just play the same goddamn music that everyone else plays (i.e. Calvin Harris, who already has a song out now, by the way).

I don't know. This song just completely rubs me the wrong way, not least because it broke my positivity streak. Thanks a lot, song! But why do I have such an averse reaction to this? I'll tell you why: Because it's not dong anything I don't expect! Look, it's got the party hard lyrics, the beat changing in the chorus, the beat overtaking the song after the last part of the chorus...

And the problem is all that and more. "Red Lights" is probably the most generic song you could release in this day and age. It's the Default of 2014, if you will. It's got a pretty generic video too, as far as EDM goes. Look, it's pretty ladies in a desert, and then they're in a club. Literally the characters and both possible settings in every EDM video. Why are there so many dance videos in the desert anyway? When I'm in the desert, I'm moving as little as possible to conserve energy, not dancing!

Anyway, if it were just generic that would be one thing. But it also advocates reckless driving.

We could just run them red lights
We could just run them red lights

No. No, you shouldn't run red lights. There's a difference between living on the edge and dying like a moron. *sigh* YOLO, I guess? Has that phrase died yet? Sure hope so.

This is so bad. It's obviously not meant to evoke any emotion; it's supposed to trick the brainwashed public into buying the song and making it score all the way to the top of the charts. Except it's waaay too generic to do so. We've got a new wave of R&B and funk coming in to replace EDM, and I think Tiësto jumped on the train a little too late, only adding to the level of this song's incompetence.

Fuck this, I'm so done. Let's get to the verdicts:

Hot 100 Success:

Will he have it?

Like I said, he caught the tail end of a trend that's slowly dying out. I don't think he'll be having much success until the EDM revival of 2033. And he'll be pretty old by then. God, he's 45 now.

Should he have it?

Well, in case I didn't already make it clear, N-O. No. He has no place in the current pop scene with his generic EDM bullshit, thank you very much. Goodbye and good riddance, Tiësto. May I never have to press ALT-137 again.