In my spare time, I look back at Billboard year-end charts and see how great or how bad the year was. And 1996 was a freakin' awesome year. Gin Blossoms, 2Pac, Busta Rhymes, Dishwalla, I could go on and on.
But, for every good year, there are still some bad songs that make the cut.
Bonjour, Celine Dion.
For some reason, this got popular alongside... The Macarena, and... that "c'mon ride the train" song... well, maybe 1996 wasn't as great as I thought.
No, the good still outweighs the bad. But sometimes the bad rises to the top, so let's look at this Celine Dion song that was #3 on the list.
Looking at the song, there's really nothing objectively bad about it. Celine Dion's got a nice singing voice, and the music is soft and sweet. But this song is also one thing that I absolutely cannot forgive in music:
Booooooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnng.
Yes, it's a nice song, but it's not a very interesting one at all. Even though Celine Dion does take some risks with her voice, it's not enough to save the song. It has pretty much the same melody over and over: Da da DAAAA da da-da da-da. The lyrics aren't really that great either.
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
The lyrics are there. They exist. But they're not doing anything; they're just sitting there. Everything is so vague that it fails to form a cohesive story and just degenerates into slog. Each line is just the same thing over and over.
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
And you were my ears when I couldn't hear. You were my nose when I couldn't smell. You had my back when I was an invertebrate. Actually, I kind of wish that "invertebrate" line made the cut. It at least puts a clear picture in my mind. Celine Dijellyfish.
And the pain from my stings will... go on...
This song is ridiculous. It's like she's singing to a "hang in there kitty" motivational poster. Actually, she could be singing this to anybody. Her lover, her kid, her grandma. The only thing that hints that she's singing this to a lover is the use of the word "baby". Though admittedly, it's still better than Justin Bieber.
I'd like to say more about this song, but... what else is there to say about nothing? I do think that Celine Dion is a good singer, but her songs have no soul. I don't feel anything when I hear them, because the melodies are too boring and the lyrics aren't specific enough. It's such a waste of talent to have her singing this pointless dreck. I don't want to hate Celine Dion, because she seems like a sweet person. But her songs. They leave me no choice. Désolé, ma belle.
No comments:
Post a Comment