But they seemed so squeaky clean... so non-sleazeballish... well, time to take the subtext out of "What Makes You Beautiful" and put it right into the text: One Direction are pot-smoking sleazeballs!
Well... Louis and Zayn smoke pot. The jury's still out on the other three. But you know what? I welcome this new change for One Direction. And to show you why, here are my top ten reasons why One Direction should keep smoking weed.
10. It's a great example for the kids.
Okay, let's start things off with a dose of sarcasm. Much of the backlash takes the form of "think about the children" diatribes that would make Helen Lovejoy roll her eyes. All right, let's be honest here: Are kids going to know about this unless you show it to them? No. Let the kids enjoy their Kidz Bop and 1D garbage; you don't need to show them a video where they're smoking weed. As for teenagers... well, they don't need Zayn and Louis to tell them to light it up.
9. It'll make them feel insecure, and they won't know what for.
Just like the things that apparently make you beautiful in the song "What Makes You Beautiful", ladies. Now One Direction will be beautiful too! Boy, I wish I was insecure about my beauty so I could be beautiful. It's a real catch-22, that song. Real catch-22.
8. It could help them to remember the lines to the "best song ever".
Eh, that song's okay.
7. It would give more context to the name of their most recent tour.
"Where Are We"? "Where Are We"? Who else would forget where they are when touring other than potheads?
6. This news story has helped me to learn their names.
There's Louis, and Zayn, and Billybob, and Chim Chim Cheree, and... yeah, that's all I've got.
5. Maybe they'll come up with better lyrics.
Please. Please. PLEASE.
4. It's better than doing other drugs.
Cocaine: bad. Meth: bad. Heroin: very, very bad. Pot? Eh... comparably okay.
3. Now we'll see who the true Directioners are because...
2. They're losing fans.
It's true! Apparently smoking pot is the absolute worst thing that One Direction can imaginably do. Fans are allegedly ripping up their tickets and denouncing their faith in the boy band. And then there's other fans who say that the fans who aren't fans anymore aren't real fans. Uh, duh. They said they weren't. Anyway, if this is all it takes for 1D to lose fans, then...
1. Maybe they'll inspire Justin Bieber to do the same thing and maybe HE'LL start losing fans.
PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEE.
this is legit my favorite post on this entire blog
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